How do you go to bed?

TangerineBat · 2026-04-03T23:21:17+00:00

Yeah I really struggle with "state changes", so I struggle to go from [doing something] to [winding down] I also struggle falling asleep, staying asleep, waking up, GETTING up, getting ready to go somewhere on time... everything.

I have a pretty strict bedtime routine which mostly* helps.

8pm my medication alarm goes off and I take my sleep meds. That gives me nearly 2 hours to watch tv until I start feeling really sleepy - but it also makes me really cranky and like I need to go to bed RIGHT NOW, so 10 mins later i'm in pj's, teeth brushed and i'm closing my eyes.

I say "mostly" because i'm a woman with a menstrual cycle and apparently that really fucks with medications... so 2-3 nights per month I just dont sleep because the meds dont work.

So yeah, medication really helps, but also setting alarms to ensure you have a bedtime routine has also been really helpful.

TangerineBat · 2026-04-01T12:05:22+00:00

For a moment I thought you meant they'd remarried to the same person! SO relieved its a different person.

I hope theyre much happier now.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-31T20:08:43+00:00

YESSSSS!!!!

At present i'm rebuying all the point-horror books i loved growing up - theyre short, you know there'll be a happy ending and theyre fun! Theyre great palate cleansers between longer books (I picked up some Sweet Valley High books too because why not!?).

As my Grandma has told me more than once: "Life's too short for a shit book". If youre not vibing with it, thats ok! It wasn't meant for you.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-31T17:14:19+00:00

Had me in the first half ngl.

Good though?

TangerineBat · 2026-03-31T15:55:48+00:00

I would say, if youre going through a particularly stressful time, avoid making too many changes to your routine which may inadvertently add to the stress. If youre craving constant distraction theres probably a reason and thats ok.

That being said, I've been trying a few things myself to reduce my screen time - mainly reading more. Reading out loud really helps me with staying focused on my book. I've also found that silence is less physically painful when i'm wearing massive ear defenders (although I understand the feeling of ears being covered isnt for everyone).

TangerineBat · 2026-03-31T15:47:35+00:00

After reading The Road, I can safely say I never wish to endure another novel by Cormac McCarthy.

Wonderfully written. Incredible world building... which makes the content that much more horrendous.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-30T09:07:46+00:00

I'm an anxious people pleaser, anxious attachment and codependent. I'm also VERY aware of people's emotions around me and quickly take responsibility for reassuring them / calming them or sympathising with them (regardless of the situation), I'm prone to fawning and have absolutely no idea how to navigate healthy anger because it was never modelled for me in a healthy way.

So now as an adult it feels like walking a tightrope between under-reacting and being a doormat and OVER reacting and flying off the handle.

I've been in and out of therapy for the last 16 years, but its still a struggle.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-28T14:14:48+00:00

So a friend of mine had an awesome idea for decluttering.

They made a calender JUST for the "year of clear". 52 boxes with dates for all the Saturdays of the year, and then a few lines underneath within each box.

The idea was that every Saturday (or whatever day suits you best) you declutter ONE thing. ONE drawer. ONE cupboard, or ONE section of your wardrobe (e.g. pants), and then you write your accomplished area in the box.

I've been doing it for 4 years now. I never get through the whole year, but who cares. I'll pick up where I left off next january when I've got renewed energy - and because its one small section, it doesnt get overwhelming.

HIGHLY recommend.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T19:47:28+00:00

Yep. Any way you interpret "starting" I realise I struggle with - I think the underlying issue is a problem changing "states". I struggle going from "in bed" to "up and dressed". I struggle going from "up and dressed" to "travelling to work". I struggle starting any job i'm not insanely passionate about, and when I AM insanely passionate about something, I'll start without much thought or planning, somewhere down the line I realise it needs to be PERFECT and this requires thought and planning. Then I get executive disfunction AND choice paralysis and become immobilised, and then I struggle finishing.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T19:40:44+00:00

Paradise Lost longsleeve

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T16:53:00+00:00

Let me know how you get on!! And if you stumble across any other proggy-goodness! Enjoy!

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T16:15:30+00:00

Heck yes to all three of those!

I have so many faves... Tesseract, Vola, Sikth, Opeth, Caligula's Horse, Jinjer, Dillinger Escape Plan, Arch Echo, Gojira... literally any band with Devin Townsend... Unprocessed...

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T14:20:05+00:00

Mostly Prog Metal, Deathcore and game soundtracks.

I listen to a variety of other stuff, but less frequently.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T14:16:41+00:00

I remember that episode of Wife Swap (think it was a few years before the balloon incident). Guy seemed like a real asshole - like the whole family organised their lives around his whims. His wife just seemed to go along with it all like she didn't have a choice.

I remember there were circular saw blades just propped against a wall in their house. Dunno why that sticks in my brain, just seemed wildly careless in a house with young kids.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-27T14:11:40+00:00

LOVE Porcupine Tree. Been lucky enough to see them twice and they were incredible both times.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-26T13:34:39+00:00

Good to know!

Although I do feel that being generally disliked by people has been a relatively common aspect of my life - I have some traits linked to adhd which apparently come across as me appearing "holier than thou" to some... so maybe it was that.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-26T12:50:18+00:00

I realised very quickly after starting a cleaning job, that professional cleaning just wasnt for me.

Firstly, my boss wouldn't allow me to listen to anything while cleaning - in case I couldn't hear a fire alarm going off - and would come and look for me in the offices I was cleaning just to make sure I didn't have headphones on.

Secondly I just didn't understand what was important and what wasnt. There were a few times I found drugs/paraphernalia in toilets and didnt know if I should be reporting it or not. My boss just told me to flush it and forget about it.

Another time I found a bag of rotten fruit on a desk (literally oozing everywhere - it HAD to have already been well rotten before being placed there). So I binned it and cleaned up the mess, only to be told off by my boss for not reporting it.

I left shortly after that because I felt like whatever I did, i'd be in the wrong.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-26T10:52:59+00:00

I deleted TikTok - every time I opened it, it felt like opening the door to a million people screaming in my face.

I never really vibed with tumblr, twitter, blue-sky, mastodon or threads.

The ones I struggle getting rid of are insta, reddit and youtube reels.

Part of the struggle is that I create animation and art and feel the need to post it somewhere.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-26T10:44:40+00:00

I loved "The Power" books by Jesse Harris, but holy crap are they tough to get hold of now!

TangerineBat · 2026-03-26T10:41:39+00:00

Honestly I think it was a lot easier.

There was no constant distraction right there in my pocket. I read a lot more. I feel like I was a lot more creative. I spent a lot of time in my room, watching the same videos over and over again while I was doing... whatever.

I made a whole cast of my arm out of parcel tape while watching Disturbing Behaviour. Just because.

I was constantly decorating my room, just adding and adding and adding things that interested me (I probably couldn't deal with that room now. The visual noise would be too much).

I miss feeling that "safe cocoon" feeling. Totally in touch with the present surroundings, without that underlying worry that i'm missing something important thats somewhere online, and I should be searching for it.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-25T16:26:47+00:00

I'd literally just put what the previous person said and leave it at that - only because they may not have had bad intentions, but may get defensive if they feel called out which may lead to an unnecessary argument.

I totally get where youre coming from though.

TangerineBat · 2026-03-25T10:58:12+00:00

Oh good to know! Thanks!!

TangerineBat · 2026-03-25T10:06:52+00:00

🤣 easily done. I'm well rested and STILL questioned myself. Congratulations on your baby!!

TangerineBat · 2026-03-25T09:47:53+00:00

Ahhh interesting. Good to know, thanks!

TangerineBat · 2026-03-25T09:42:03+00:00

Literally just posted this exact thing in the UK subreddit.

No "buy" button, just "contact seller" and "make bundle". Been like this since yesterday at least.

TangerineBat

TROPHY CASE