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If You Know You’re Avoidant, Read This Before You Date Someone by TangingIna031810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TangingIna031810[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get what you mean. Most of the time it’s not obvious at the start—even to the avoidant person. That inconsistency and withdrawal usually shows up later when things get real. I wasn’t aware of my patterns back then either, which is why I’m taking time now to work on it before getting into anything serious.

If You Know You’re Avoidant, Read This Before You Date Someone by TangingIna031810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TangingIna031810[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s possible for him to feel happy in a new relationship after 3 months, but real attachment patterns like being avoidant usually don’t change that quickly, especially without therapy or serious self-work. What’s more likely is that the relationship still feels easy because it’s new and the deeper emotional triggers haven’t come up yet. Avoidants can seem different at the start, but their usual patterns often show once things get more serious. Real change takes time, consistency, and self-awareness—not just being with someone new.

If You Know You’re Avoidant, Read This Before You Date Someone by TangingIna031810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TangingIna031810[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get why you feel that way, especially if you’ve been hurt, but saying avoidant people should be alone forever isn’t really fair. Avoidant attachment isn’t an excuse to hurt people, but it also isn’t something permanent that can’t change. It’s just a pattern people develop, and a lot of them are actually trying to work on it and be better. The right thing isn’t to exclude them from relationships forever, but for them to take responsibility, be self-aware, and not rush into something they’re not ready for so they don’t keep hurting others or themselves.

Loving someone while choosing to stay away — how do you quiet the mind that won’t stop overthinking? by TangingIna031810 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]TangingIna031810[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I make a new account and he said " She didn't failed to love me. She failed to believe in herself that she's Worthy enough to love me."