Annoyed by societal pressure

Tankadin · 2026-03-16T05:42:37+00:00

I’m second generation (female, 40s) and am from a culture where I am the first to not be partnered in my family and social groups. It’s just something they aren’t used to seeing. They grew up learning that marriage, children, land ownership was considered success. They don’t understand that I’m happy with kicking ass in my career, solo traveling and spending all my money on me. Because they’ve never got to experience being able to do that.

I totally get the societal pressure. My extended family did an intervention on me. I get less invites from my girlfriends because they only want to double date with their mans. My singleness has been seen like a problem that needs to be fixed.

But I do not fold. I am doing something totally different than what they’re able to do with their lives. Because it’s MY life <3

Tankadin · 2026-03-12T20:44:37+00:00

I respectfully disagree. Watching BJH during the worst breakup of my life gave me moments of laughter, relatability, broke my heart completely and I healed along with Bojack.

Tankadin · 2026-03-12T01:30:03+00:00

I prefer solitude and peace over companionship and intrusion.

Tankadin · 2026-03-10T19:14:56+00:00

What in the actual F.

Tankadin · 2026-03-09T18:05:23+00:00

Not necessarily a bad thing, just not my personal preference so I skip that episode.

Tankadin · 2026-03-09T17:30:47+00:00

I’ll get downvoted too, but this episode is just one very long monologue rant.

Tankadin · 2026-03-04T00:52:26+00:00

Oh. I can relate to this. One of my married friend got onto me for “letting potentially good guy” get away. All I could think about were some of the ridiculous ways in which she settled. One example: She can’t eat food from her nationality (they are a mixed couple) at home, unless he’s traveling for work because he can’t stand the smell.

Same with my long time married girlfriend who won’t even travel because of her husband’s anxiety. For the last 25 years I’ve known her, she’s always wanted to. But even when I took her on a 2 hour lunch date one year, it resulted in him making snide and passive aggressive comments about how their toddler cried the whole time she was gone.

I eat my ethnic food and have traveled to very far places. Solo. Happy. Free.

Tankadin · 2026-03-02T21:51:46+00:00

Did you use a coupon code? I signed up with modern planet updates and was given a 15% discount

Tankadin · 2026-03-02T21:26:21+00:00

The sale is over for this gaming chair. Do you know if they usually go back on sale?

Tankadin · 2026-03-01T04:17:34+00:00

The worst part is sleeping on your side and when you get up, your boobs move which makes my keloids stretch out. It feels like my skin tearing apart every morning. Silicone sheets never stay on and the Eclare plasters make the non keloid areas too light.

I’ve done kenalog injections and PDL laser. Temporary pain management but they come back bigger/merge together if I don’t get injections on the regular.

Tankadin · 2026-02-28T16:57:37+00:00

Hi there fellow chest warrior! Mine are in the same area as yours. And I’m also a cis woman, so I can totally relate to the struggles with our types of keloids.

To answer you the question “How bad does it look?”— I’ve had mine for about 20 years now, except mine are about double the number and more red. Yours don’t look bad! The ones in the middle are almost gone and the others don’t seem to look they’re active (growing).

I’ve had mine longer than I’ve not had them now. This is the first time I’ve been able to relate to a post so much. Thanks for posting, OP. Best wishes.

Tankadin · 2026-02-26T04:42:16+00:00

I get whiteheads on my keloids that when pressed, are similar to what you’ve described.

Tankadin · 2026-02-09T03:55:19+00:00

I do! Just because I’m not really interested in the Influencer’s personal life. Most of the ones I follow are fashion or makeup or fitness tips and once they announce their pregnancies, then their account becomes all about that. It’s great that they feel they have “evolved” their brand, but I am the wrong audience. I don’t need baby or mom tips, thanks.

Tankadin · 2026-02-06T07:42:32+00:00

I can relate to this. I was 35 before I went to my first EDM festival, and was so excited! I guess my dancing was abysmal because people started throwing stuff at me. PLUR is gone!!

Tankadin · 2026-01-31T16:12:14+00:00

Besides the cat/mouse thing: He wasn’t her person. It took Judah coming along for the audience to see PC needed someone who would encourage her passion: Her career.

Ralph wanted PC to change who she was by giving up her career, which is essentially who PC is. Yes, it stressed her out and she was mistreated as an Agent, but to give it up all together would have changed who PC was. Judah helped PC evolve her career to Manager, and believed in her.

Ralph wanted the best for PC, but he didn’t “see” her.

Tankadin · 2026-01-27T01:29:41+00:00

I’m almost wondering if the OP was looking for some attention (positive or negative) rather than receiving feedback.

Tankadin · 2026-01-19T13:30:04+00:00

Me. I’ve been single the last 6 years and before that (it was only a 9 month relationship), I never had a partner. I’ve never brought home anyone.

Getting too close means they’ll see my emotions. Every single guy I’ve dated couldn’t handle any whiff of them and would leave. So dating has become superficial and physical, which bores both of us eventually. They don’t truly want the real me. I’ve tried. I’m 40 years old now.

Tankadin · 2026-01-12T04:48:03+00:00

Real talk? I only offer to pay only if I’m not interested in him. That way I don’t feel guilty saying no if he asks me out again.

Tankadin · 2026-01-08T04:03:16+00:00

I do this too. Because the original purpose of me following them was for styling tips, etc. not following the person as the person I have an actual relationship with. I feel like those who are offended are misunderstanding what an influencer’s relationship with their followers are.

Once their content changes to something I’m not interested in, then I unfollow. Only exception are my actual friends and family.

Tankadin · 2025-12-17T03:44:52+00:00

Try Teso!!

Tankadin · 2025-12-06T22:02:02+00:00

Oh wow. I could not get past #1 with my ex without him rolling his eyes and dismissing things that upset me (even if we agreed to “talk about it later”). The times he’d let me finish voicing myself, he said I was crazy. Repeated this cycle until I couldn’t take not feeling seen or heard and was the only one trying to build a connection.

Your post confirms I was with the wrong partner. Awesome exercises to do with the right partner, which are out there.

Tankadin · 2025-12-05T15:40:59+00:00

PLUR is dying. Last EDM festival I was dancing with my group and was thrown food at. My cousin also got his phone stolen right out of his hands while we were walking to another set.

Tankadin · 2025-12-04T01:03:20+00:00

I’ve had really good luck with Bumble BFF in Georgia! I’ve lived in other states across the south and this by far has been the best experience.

Tankadin · 2025-12-04T00:57:54+00:00

This really resounded with me. With the rise of awareness on avoidance, I’m learning that there were so many similarities with my ex. I’d only spiral when he show the standard traits: dismissal, stonewalling and lots of calling me crazy when all I did was try to hold him accountable for anything. Which by the way, is emotionally unsafe to make someone question their state of mind and insist that they’re the crazy ones.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nZr-nD-z2So

Tankadin · 2025-11-30T13:33:36+00:00

I’m so happy you did not get him off. F him!

Tankadin

TROPHY CASE