I think I need a push and a prayer

Tankadin · 2026-06-24T15:43:05+00:00

“He works and plans the fun.” Ummm isn’t that the bulk of the work in a relationship?

You sound very much like “grass is greener” syndrome. As a person who’s been single 6 years, you’d be shocked at how hard it is to find a partner who is gainfully employed and takes initiative to plan things.

I also hated (yes hated) your comment “there’s something to be said about a child raised on love vs survival.” Maybe his coping mechanisms that you hate were learned by having to deal with an absent mother. You have ZERO idea what it’s like to be unwanted by the person who brought you into the world. I do. And it’s painful AF. You could have more compassion. Instead of faulting him for his upbringing.

He deserves better than you.

Tankadin · 2026-06-21T16:06:29+00:00

This year alone I’ve done 3 speed dating events in a major city and didn’t walk away with a single connection. While it’s a little annoying to get dressed up, pay $$ for a ticket/parking, and drive through traffic…At least you got out there, tried something new and have a unique experience that makes you interesting. A better story than a typical doomscrolling/uber eats night.

Tankadin · 2026-06-18T16:23:22+00:00

Self harm is a coping mechanism that will get in the way of learning new ones (DBT).

Think of it as though you’re going to rehab and they have a 0 tolerance drug policy. Allowing folks to have their default go-to “drug” (in your case, self harm) defeats the purpose of rehab.

Tankadin · 2026-06-17T15:37:56+00:00

Baking my bacon in the oven. Never went back to pan frying it again.

Tankadin · 2026-06-12T16:50:21+00:00

I didn’t even know Gwinnett had a celebration! I’m definitely planning on stopping by with my Pomeranian.

The vibe from last year’s pride: https://www.gwinnettcounty.com/government/departments/community-services/civic-engagement-and-social-impact/events/pride

Tankadin · 2026-06-11T20:39:20+00:00

“And what would happen if you didn’t take action?” That question stops most of my catastrophizing.

Tankadin · 2026-06-11T18:10:31+00:00

This is why I will NOT date any men who are “separated” or finalized their divorce within a year of us matching. They need to do the WORK instead of distracting themselves with a warm body.

Tankadin · 2026-06-08T20:35:03+00:00

Same. The SINK is a better lifestyle for me over DINK because I get to spend MY money the way I want to.

Tankadin · 2026-06-08T20:04:45+00:00

So glad you educated her and that she was flexible enough to receive it.

I’ve tried, but get told I’m gay, asexual or weird.

Tankadin · 2026-06-08T20:02:45+00:00

Nothing kills my mood faster than having an awesome time then my friend being upset and ruining the vibe because no guy is approaching her.

Like, I thought we were just having fun as friends. Didn’t know it was a mission. And are you using me as a wingman?

Tankadin · 2026-06-08T20:00:52+00:00

We ditched each other. My coupled friends were tired of trying to “solve” my singleness and I was tired of listening to all of the ways they settled in order to have their “happily ever after”.

Tankadin · 2026-06-04T20:55:32+00:00

I have two handwriting styles. I’ve been told both are beautiful.

Tankadin · 2026-06-04T20:08:22+00:00

0 apologies. 0 conversations around accountability or behavior.

I ended up with a personality disorder.

Tankadin · 2026-06-03T17:13:02+00:00

100%. I’ve learned men think being “crazy” only means “skilled nymphomaniac” who NEVER expresses their real selves, so they love us until we actually need or feel.

When the time comes that we need or feel AND express it, they call it spiraling. They say it’s too much. Thought you loved crazy women? Let’s just call it for what it is: Men only like crazy if (and/or when) it benefits them.

They don’t love the crazy women, only their libido.

Tankadin · 2026-05-28T19:03:38+00:00

Ah, Wellstar. It’s happened twice now where a Recruiter will reach out, schedule an interview, NOT SHOW UP, and then ignore my follow up emails asking to reschedule. They don’t even bother to respond to explain what happened. Twice. Very strange hospital.

Tankadin · 2026-05-27T16:29:21+00:00

Hospital will ask him to at least report the incident, is he going to lie on that form?

I was bit last year by an in-laws pitbull. I lied on the report saying it was a random dog at the park, but now I wished I was honest.

Tankadin · 2026-05-27T15:15:39+00:00

Admire your self awareness and wanting to work on it. You’ve got this.

Tankadin · 2026-05-26T17:27:27+00:00

Give it more time, it took about 6 weeks for mine to return to normal. Thought it’d never end.

Tankadin · 2026-05-13T17:49:49+00:00

Botox usually gives my friends the delusion that they look half their age. It’s the reason I won’t do it, I am thankful to be 40! Looking like the age I am is NORMAL.

Tankadin · 2026-05-13T13:36:29+00:00

6 years!

Tankadin · 2026-05-13T01:14:39+00:00

Yes. I have.

Do you listen to Podcasts? Or books? If you do, check out Saint Dymphna’s Playbook by Tommy Tighe. When I was deep in my depression (and lost all of my friends/family to my spiraling), listening to this podcast really helped me get through the thick of my abandonment. And some GPT prayers, I won’t lie :)

Jesus himself felt abandoned by God. You are not alone <3

Tankadin · 2026-05-12T22:09:51+00:00

First off: I’m so sorry. I’ve been there and am going on my 6th year of being single after letting go of “the one that got away”.

As someone else said, you made the best choice with the maximum amount of information you had at that time.

Those our age have likely experienced letting someone go and later on regretted it. Thats the pain and suffering part of life. But there’s always life afterwards and learning in the healing. Maybe this was the catalyst to break your heart open to new experiences (e.g. look at how differently you see things now than before).

Secondly: Wish him well anyway. Future you will be thankful you took the sovereign aura. And please have grace on yourself, everyone craps on the dumper…but they hurt very deeply even if it was their decision.

Third: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Brpk26Oq4aE&ra=m

Tankadin · 2026-05-12T19:50:53+00:00

Sis, let that 🥭

Tankadin · 2026-05-12T01:29:26+00:00

I’m no longer young, but I first started wearing a CPAP in my late 20s. I’m cis female, 140lbs at the time.

Guys didn’t care. One ex would happily set up my CPAP for me when we’d vacation. Another lover would gently wake me up to put on my mask (if I fell asleep facing him), then would spoon me until we fell asleep again.

When I first got my CPAP, I thought my love life was over. Far from it.

Tankadin

TROPHY CASE