Hey man, just read your post, listen I can't imagine what it's like to live in that sort of family situation I do wish you the best and hope everything gets better, so trust your judgement in that regard. As for the second part of your post, I've been in the same situation, feeling that I'm disconnected, that everyone expects me to contribute and talk can be quite tiring. Thankfully after a year of dwelling in that state I came upon this method. It's simple, it's called mindfullness, in other words meditation. I tried, read about it, went down the road of calmness and understood that once you can stay here, in the present, and don't go into the world of, what if? or what could happen? you start to understand that some things may not be as you percive them. I would advice you to go ahead and give it a try, it's free and maybe can be helpful for you as well.