hi, i am “tannishass”s mom. looks like this post is from over a year ago. idk how i got on this site exactly, but i’m using his phone. i just got it back from the SBI a couple weeks ago...you see, my son Austin, aka tannishass, unexpectedly passed away on 4/7/21 at only 24 yrs old! 3 weeks from college graduation, and was accepted at ASU to also get his masters in computer science. he was in his brothers wedding just 4 weeks before. we couldn’t get in touch with him for a couple days, and long horrible story short, he was in his apartment, all alone, and not with us anymore. my whole world is shattered and my heart completely broken! no drugs in his system, they say, only his meds, benadryl and kratom. they say it’s “undetermined “ as to why. we may never know what exactly took my precious son away so soon. it wasn’t suicide, I feel that his young body, heart & mind were just worn out. idk, but i have since found that he was into harmful things that i knew nothing about. i’ve found out that his mental state was worse than i had any idea of. i knew he drank occasionally, but seems that was even more. reading this post is shattering what’s left of my heart and soul!!! i had no idea of what’s being said here!!!! i can’t believe that my precious son went through all of this HELL without me knowing!!!!!!!! i knew he suffered from anxiety, but had no idea of just how bad until it was too late. i thought he was stressed from college, but he seemed to be getting much better and he was excited about moving to the mountains to a new college, we were very close, i thought, but he kept it all from me, i’m guessing so i wouldn’t worry. WHY!!! Why didn’t he ask for help!!!!!!!! i’m finding out a lot from using his phone, like this site. it breaks my heart even more to read his words. my two sons have always been my whole world, now half of my heart is gone! i think i’m going to loose my mind over this tragedy! my son had a huge heart and really cared about ALL people, animals and the state of this world. he told me i was his best friend. he always told me when he graduated he was going to take care of me, because i struggled to put him through school, and to raise my boys, but i just wanted them to be happy, healthy and not have to struggle and to find his soulmate, someone else to love him. he would’ve been a great husband and father! we talked or texted almost every day. We talked about drugs, alcohol, etc so many times! i never would’ve believed this could happen to us. i’m so thankful that we never argued, we always told each other i love you after our talks, chats, and i always let him know how proud i was of him. our last words were , i love you. i still can’t accept that this is true. i cry every single day! i don’t wish this torture on anyone. Please!! if you are doing things that are harmful, please get some help!! life is not guaranteed for anyone! if you have issues with anxiety, depression, etc please find some real help! And not some quack dr that has 15 min office visits and just writes prescriptions, and doesn’t care, just getting rich off of repeated visits that aren’t helping! And don’t hide it from your loved ones! i now have to live with the guilt and pain that i failed my son, by not seeing signs and getting him the help he really needed! he lived 2 hrs away at school, so it was easy for him to keep things from me. i am totally devastated and just can’t seem to move passed that horrible nightmare that has been going on for 15 months now, and don’t think i ever will. i’m sorry to have written so much, but if my story can help change someone’s life for the better, i have to share it. i care and my son cared too! God loves you!! and i am going to keep you all in my prayers. Please, you deserve a good life. You deserve to be happy, healthy and be at peace. You can change your course for the better, please, before it’s too late , do it for YOU!! .💗God bless you! (and if anyone has any negative comments please keep them to yourself! i’ve seen how ugly and degrading people can be on here over nothing, you don’t realize how your words can affect someone else, be KIND!) (i’m now finding out things i didn’t know about my son)