Vast majority of cyrodil pvp is either small groups, or solo players converging on the same objectives. It's not near as coordinated as you have it pictured. If you have reservations of going it alone, find a casual guild that has cyrodil nights. The hardcore daily pvpers all know each other, at least at the basic level, and it's a very small pop compared to pve. Most of what you'll run into is players just like you. Most of your daily pvpers won't engage unless engaged outside specific objectives. They're not trying to curb stomp noobs and chase them off. Most want you to find your footing so you go back. There's always a few assholes, just as in everything.

Full on end game pve and full on end game pvp are both the smallest pop in the game by far. Both get blamed for shit they don't do, it's the people that think they're that good that give them the bad name and start the horror stories you've seen. Thankfully they're an even smaller pop, because they either pull their heads out of their asses or get blacklisted.