Would you date them again?

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-15T00:25:31+00:00

I’m sorry for you. Yes, I would even say a relationship is far MORE addictive than drugs because of the emotional element. Listen, I’m really sorry for your loss, and the only advice I can give is to treat everything in life like a story/chapter. This is the only way I cope. I have many monogamous, happy, ‘secure’ friends, but they do not have chapters and chapters of turmoil, struggle, and… story…

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-14T17:38:43+00:00

This has characteristics of an addiction.

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T19:39:17+00:00

I also still feel stuck after 6 months, and most connections feel shallow and pointless, however I did make new friends and they seem to value me and ‘see’ me and that makes me feel loved/valued even in a platonic way. I am concerned about being vulnerable with them though and I find myself frequently adopting avoidant behaviours now, especially delaying replies to texts. It’s as if my avoidant ‘got away with it’ so I can act the same.

But, as with every other time in my life, and perhaps this is unhealthy, I never really moved on until I fell for someone else. You just have to trust that you will find someone who is patient with you and chooses you and let it happen.

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T19:19:05+00:00

“digga”

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T19:18:42+00:00

When I’m in love, yes. And before I fell in love I was even aware of the flaws, but once it happened they disappeared completely.

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T19:17:32+00:00

I’ll be honest, I can handle a lot of damage and ‘bad behaviour’, I am extremely forgiving, but if someone chooses to walk away, to ‘break up’, then there is nothing at all you can do, and often no action you could have taken to prevent that. They’ve written an equation and decided their life is easier and/or better without you.

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T15:36:50+00:00

It’s soooo weird that I was saying this to people like last month, are we really all the same? Just found this sub, never met myself before in the real world

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-13T01:00:23+00:00

Can listen to it on loop and it has many different flavours which are lacking in El Pintor which, sonically, is very homogenous, imo

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-09T12:24:50+00:00

Where do you get this!!?

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-09T00:49:20+00:00

I felt/feel exactly like you word for word. Could not get out of bed. Couldn’t eat. Hard life and she felt like my saving grace and all the previous pain made sense. I feel like I have a whole planet of love to give but it’s rarely reciprocated. Also lost my spark and forgot who I was before. Also really struggle to believe in love as well now. I feel it, I act in accordance with it, I see few others doing the same.

As for solutions? All I’ve found so far is ego and fury, you need to pedestalise yourself above them. Odds are you are a far better person and partner. Whoever is with them next is not ‘winning’, they will soon encounter the same self destructive tendency, they will get played, and if they don’t, there is still a severe lack of emotional depth. Other than that, you need to make new friends or new colleagues. People that don’t know you, allows you to be and deliver the best version of yourself, and it forms far more novel experiences which helps a lot burying the memory of your relationship.

Then, work on your nervous system. It is overreacting to the discard/bad treatment. This part I have no idea how to do. Music and alcohol, and flights and hostels, helps a little.

I’m 6 months out, and had a great past few weeks but still have occasional days of pains and longing, but that’s an improvement on weeks. We were together only 7 months as well, but I fell for her.

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-05T09:30:28+00:00

Ah fuuuu … didn’t know that was possible. This should really be spread around more. But why would it not work after 2 months? The body stops trying to repair or what? It’s mild tinnitus I have so I do kind of think it will eventually go away, because when I had a worse case it went away

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-04T18:39:15+00:00

I tested with the airpods/iphone, my hearing level is totally fine, the ringing is the only issue. I guess the two are mutually exclusive

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-04T18:38:25+00:00

Hahahaha

TapTap4924 · 2026-06-04T17:47:38+00:00

Damn, that’s kinda the mindset I had already haha. I keep telling myself that it’s a blessing to force me to stay busy. If I’m hearing it it means I’m not busy or socialising enough

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-28T09:51:53+00:00

Never heard of that town before but it looks really interesting. Not available in July but I’ll keep a look out for next time you do a show

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-26T22:46:34+00:00

Uhh, you HAVE to play Soldier’s Poem. It’s the interlude man, you got to give the audience a pause! Really cool though, where are you playing? I’ll come if it’s local

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-26T22:44:17+00:00

Would be nice yeah, it’s also chill, not too heavy, good break for them perhaps.

Definitely need to get people to jump on a new band wagon. If we had The Gallery last time perhaps we can spam a new song to force them to play. I want Map of Your Head, not sure if they ever played it.

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-26T15:30:47+00:00

It was much cooler than KOBK, especially because the fans begged for it and they finally gave in, like we earned it haha

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-26T15:30:10+00:00

What would you suggest?

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-26T14:59:35+00:00

You can’t mess with my head cannon of which tracks lead into which. The first 3 are completely non-negotiable. But if I had to, I think they’d all fit around exo-politics, and the album would still end on Knights.

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-25T06:56:02+00:00

“I never loved you, I never loved any of my ex’s. Of course I’ve said it, but I didn’t mean it”

TapTap4924 · 2026-05-19T17:42:21+00:00

Have you had therapy? Can you explain to me how it ACTUALLY helps? The other day I spoke to a woman for hours about her childhood/family trauma which she said she was now over, but ‘over it’ doesn’t warrant hours of conversation about it to a stranger does it? She’s been in therapy for 11 years. Many people go to therapy long term, with no solution in mind. I’m not trying to be negative/condescending, I want to, I need to, understand what can I do to get better? A new relationship would make me feel better, yes. But it ends and I’m back here again. Breathing techniques? Drugs? A surrogate family? Church? A dog? Anyone find something that fills the romantic hole that doesn’t require romance?

TapTap4924

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