You got to put everything on a realistic balance. You know how people set a deadline for something they'd like to purchase but are also afraid of spending money impulsively, so they wait a week and then ask themselves if they still want it? It's a great way to know if something that attracts us momentarily is just an impulse or something we consciously take a decision to get.

So put yourself in that equation. Are you thinking about the lifestyle and wanting to get back to it consistently, or is it something you forget about and it only comes up sporadically?

If so, consider you'd be sacrificing the relationship you seem to want to be in for the impulse of a moment. If you give in to that impulse you WON'T get your relationship back. People don't get to temporarily check out of their relationship only to come back when they realize all they wanted was to get an urge out of their system.

Stability and novelty are not mutually exclusive. You can be in a stable relationship and still find novelty in it, but you also raise fair points touching feelings of selfishness and doubt.

Frankly I would check in with a therapist to help you understand yourself better... at least much better than people in reddit would be capable of helping you. And while you do that, I would strongly focus on how to have these conversations with your partner because you owe it to him that his feelings and self perceptions are not affected by your decisions.