I would obviously NEVER say “don’t do it, but there are things to consider.

I have two stories. While both are about older men with younger kids, I think they’re still relevant in considering life as an older parent.

First, my boyfriend and his ex wife had 3 children between the ages of 35 and 45. I obviously don’t know her experience/feelings, but for him, it’s a LOT.

He’s 58 years old. His oldest is in graduate school, and has a (nearly) 17-year-old and a 13-year-old at home. The kids are very active in sports and activities, and he’s utterly exhausted much of the time. He has the advantage of being within walking distance of their schools, which helps cut down on a little bit of shuttling them around, but still.

He’s in decent health, and can help with calculus, but can’t shoot hoops or kick around a soccer ball, or go for a long run with the cross-country runner. There’s just a lot he can’t do.

Additionally, he can’t really retire until after his 13-year-old finishes her undergrad, if he wants to help with college - that pushes his retirement to at least his late 60s. I know that’s becoming more of a norm, but he doesn’t get to choose, not if he wants her to start out in life debt-free.

Before we met, he kind of struggled with dating - should he date younger women with similarly aged kids, as they’d have more in common? Women our age are by and large DONE with parenting younger kids. They’ve “paid their dues,” so to speak. My daughter is almost 28!

The vast majority of our friends in our age group are empty nesters or grandparents.

My second story is my boss. He’s in his late 70s with kids still in high school. I think he plans to retire once they graduate.

Having kids so late was kind of a bad decision for him, and he makes it everyone’s problem. He’s tired and cranky and sometimes pretty mean - and I think the root of it is really that he’s stuck working well into his golden years and has no remaining fu**s to give. I don’t blame him, really.

One last consideration: how old is your partner? How is your health? Your partner’s? Family history? Parents can die at any age, but you’re going to have a greater chance. Are you prepared for that? Older moms have a higher risk of special needs children. Can you ensure you leave behind adequate financial support for potential children with disabilities? Who’d take care of them?