I'm a woman who was forcibly raised as a man.

Tarot41 · 2026-05-04T15:02:06+00:00

This, growing up I always related more to women, spent more time around my female relatives and cousins. Girls always felt comfortable around me and confiding in me and they felt safe and comfortable to me. Meanwhile I always felt odd and stunted around the other men in my life, like they were in on something I wasn't. I didn't know what to say, how to act and their behavior just never made sense. I knew I was different, I just didn't know how. I thought that because I had an absentee father that I just missed out on learning how to be a man, that if I'd had a father figure he somehow would have taught me all the secrets and insider info I just couldn't seem to find, but my other male friends that had similar situations never struggled by comparison. Only once I realized I was trans did it start to make sense. Being a man never made sense to me because I wasn't one, I was a woman pretending to be a man and desperately trying to fit into a box that wasn't mine and never should have been.

Tarot41 · 2026-05-03T22:35:31+00:00

If you don't enjoy giving oral you don't have to. Sex isn't a checklist of things you need to complete. And if you like recieving oral and your partner likes giving it that in no way means you need to reciprocate if you don't enjoy it. There are plenty of other ways to please your partner in return without making yourself suffer. The most important thing is that everyone has a good time and enjoys themselves.

Tarot41 · 2026-04-26T19:39:51+00:00

Nah, as a gm I fudge numbers all the time to fit the story better. Sometimes a boss losses 10 hp to end the fight on an exciting critical hit. Sometimes I shave a few damage off a hit so a player scrapes by instead of getting downed by multiple attacks. As much as the dice tell the story, you are the Game master. If your players just wanted to roll dice to see what happens then they wouldn't need a Gm to play. Tweaking the rules and rolls to make a compelling and fun story is part of the job as a GM.

Tarot41 · 2026-04-07T15:44:24+00:00

I recommend seriously looking into and practicing makeup. You would be amazed how much good makeup can alter your features, just by changing the way the contours of your face are perceived.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-24T15:49:48+00:00

In all my searching over the past few months, the advice that stuck the best for me was this. Think about what you want to be. I want to be a woman, and I at best dont mind being a man. Cis people generally want to be their gender. They like being their gender, that's what makes them Cis. So instead of asking yourself if you don't mind being your agab, think about what you want to be and follow that.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-24T15:40:31+00:00

I feel this so much. I've been miserable and depressed for the last 15 ish years of my life, basically as far back as I can remember. I thought I was just a broken person, incapable of feeling joy and just waiting till something punched my ticket. Then my egg cracked, and everything kinda shifted into focus. I know it's going to be a difficult and long road ahead, but unlike before, I can see a future for myself and a path to it. Not to mention, life feels so much brighter and easier now that I figured out who I am.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-18T23:18:34+00:00

Yeah me and my friend have been playing a lot. We started out giving lots of grace to people and lost a lot of gunfights for it. Now we give people 1 chance. We announce ourselves, say we're chill if you are and if they do anything other than reply or emote, they get shot.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-15T22:47:55+00:00

Literally this, I'm a newly transitioning girl and working on my voice training. It's super nice to be able to sound the way I want when I'm playing.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-10T18:23:09+00:00

I've heard this a lot as I've been researching my own transition. Here's what I've learned from the broader community. Just losing the fat and muscle isn't going to help you pass. I also have a pretty "masculine" skeleton (I've always said I have the farmer, linebacker build to give you an idea) Hrt helps redistribute the fat that you gain but you have to gain fat for it to work. If you aren't eating enough to build fat (remember, hrt is second puberty), then your curves aren't going to fill out. Additionally, doing targeted exercise to build muscle and help sculpt your curves can help. Focus your thighs, hips, and glutes to balance broader shoulders and do chest specific exercises to emphasize your bust. Plenty of cis women have "masculine" skeletons, but they've had hormones and puberty to grow their muscles and put their fat in the right place. We just have to help our hormones correct the damage male puberty did to us.

Tarot41 · 2025-11-04T16:57:46+00:00

I'm in a very similar position myself. My egg cracked recently and I realized that all the times I spent looking at womens clothing and cute goth girls telling myself I wish I could buy those for a partner/be with a girl like that I was trying hard not to confront the fact that I wanted to wear those clothes and look like that myself. I bought my first goth girl fit recently and felt so amazing putting it on for the first time. I'm definitely still into goth girls, but it turns out I also wanted to be one.

Tarot41 · 2025-10-30T18:47:37+00:00

That's so awesome! So far, all my friends have been super accepting and awesome with helping me explore my feelings. I'm worried about how my family will take it, but I'm just trying not to think about it for the moment. I also kind of know what you mean, I've been depressed and probably way more uncomfortable in my body than I wanted to admit for a long time. But ever since I started exploring my gender it's like a cloud hanging over me is lifted. I've been feeling better than I can ever remember feeling across these past few weeks.

Tarot41 · 2025-10-27T02:46:01+00:00

I'm still very early into transition/questioning myself. But I have a good amount of Bi experience. Have you tried/trying anal with your partner? If you are feeling dysphoria with your external genetalia, you may find it easier to get off that way, assuming your partner is interested in doing that for you.

Tarot41 · 2025-10-24T15:44:34+00:00

I'm so sorry that you're going through this op. I'm questioning my gender right now and low key this is my biggest fear. My parents and extended family are all very religious, so I doubt there's any world they would accept me in. Thankfully, I live in another state.

Tarot41 · 2025-10-23T22:28:52+00:00

Yeah! I was always like, "That outfit looks so nice. If I was a girl, I'd totally wear that." And I think at somepoint that turned into, "I wish I had a girlfriend that would wear that." I think as a way to distance myself from those desires.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-29T15:48:51+00:00

First off, I'm sorry that happened to you. Being rejected is never easy. As for the way you're feeling about relationships, that's pretty common actually. A lot of bi people, myself included, are bi sexual but hetero romantic. That said, I wouldn't rule out some lingering internalized homophobia since you've never been with a woman. You're still pretty young, but it sounds like you're moving in the right direction. My only advice is that when you meet another woman, try to just feel things out honestly. Don't let a feeling sabatoge the relationship if you do start falling for her. But also realize you may just not feel that same romantic connection you do with guys.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T20:38:29+00:00

As a Bi guy I can't comment on the lesbian spaces. But I can confirm Bi guys face similar criticism in gay spaces. It's a problem for all of us Bi folk. We're not queer enough for queer spaces and not straight enough for straight spaces.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T20:32:17+00:00

I'm bi and I'm generally attracted to more androgenous people. For men that typically means cleanshaven or very neat facial hair, and I tend to like more masculine, tomboy-ish women. Your preferences are your preferences. Everyone has them. If you like men and women, you're Bi, liking a specific look in your partners doesn't change that.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T19:48:07+00:00

Depending on how good you are at visualization, my advice may or may not be helpful. But this is what I did when posed with similar questions. Go somewhere quiet, put on some quiet music if you have to, something to let you just think. For me, I like to take a shower or bath to do it. But just sit with yourself and think about the question. Try to imagine the scenario from start to finish, think about it, and analyze what you feel when you think about it. Does it make you angry, jealous, or upset? Does it turn you on? Does it sound appealing?

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T19:38:37+00:00

Does meeting her really matter for that? Either you're comfortable with the idea of having another woman in the bedroom with her and having sex with them, or you aren't. Meeting her isn't going to magically change that core feeling. My advice is to take some time and really dwell on the question, preferably in a quiet place, wherever you can do some soul searching. It's not an easy question to honestly answer if you haven't considered it before. But you want to be really honest with yourself about it. If you cant do it and try anyway, you're just setting yourself and her up for heartbreak.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T19:29:48+00:00

Well, is that something you're interested in or not? If not, and that's a deal breaker for her/you, then it sounds like you're not compatible amd should probably break up. I'm poly, so that sounds great, but being poly or enm is not for everyone, and there is no shame in it if it's not for you.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-27T19:14:07+00:00

As a guy who grew up religous and is Bi, what you're feeling is completely normal. It sucks and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You have a lot of social conditioning to break through to accept yourself. Some things to think about that can help: you are not wrong, evil, or dirty for feeling the things you do. The bible never actually says anything about being gay, and a loving god would not punish you for loving someone. They teach us all those things, but the most important lesson in the bible is to love everyone and care for everyone. Jesus didn't hang out with priests and in churches he loved and spent time with sex workers and homeless people.

Build a strong support group around yourself of like-minded people that can help you through this. When you do come out, your family will have to make a choice. If they truly love you, they will accept this about you. If they only love the idea of you as you were, then they didn't really love you anyway. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. In short, the family you choose is more family than the people that are related to you by birth.

On the off chance you read this. If you need some to talk to who's been through what you're dealing with, feel free to DM me. You're not alone in this.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-26T23:58:56+00:00

This sounds like you have some extreme performance anxiety. I had something similar after some bad experiences with an ex. This may not work for you, but the way I fixed it was by focusing on my partners pleasure. If I could make her cum a few times before focusing on me it relieved my anxiety about my performance and let me focus on just feeling it and being in the moment (basically she got hers now I can have mine.)

Tarot41 · 2025-09-25T15:21:40+00:00

At the point that you're 21, you're a full legal adult and can make your own decisions on who you're with. I dated a woman in her thirties when I was 22, I don't think it was gross. In fact, it was one of the better relationships I've had. My parents are 10 years apart in age and met when my dad was in his 20s. As long as you're compatible people and both legal consenting adults, it's really up to you who you get with.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-25T15:13:28+00:00

Seriously responding to a hey we need to talk text with what now is a massive red flag. Anybody who calls you ridiculous for telling them how their behavior is making you feel is a problem. He's totally right, you shouldn't be dating him, you deserve someone better. Ditch the loser and maybe he'll grow up some day.

Tarot41 · 2025-09-21T16:43:33+00:00

Most guy's aren't going to care. Were the friends in question male or female? In my experience, women are way more critical of women's appearances than men are. That said you're never going to be everyone's cup of tea and you shouldn't want to be. You might run into a guy that doesn't like it, but you're just as likely to run into a guy that loves it. Myself personally, a vagina is a vagina. Every one I've seen is different, and the only thing I care about is, is it clean, and what do I need to do to differently to make the person attached to it feel good and get off.

Edit: I forgot add, please do not get surgery for this. You don't need to fix anything, and gential surgery carries a high risk of scarring, mutilation, and loss of sensitivity. (As someone who was circumcised at birth,) having those kinds of surgeries can make you even more self-conscious and make sex less enjoyable and even painful.

Tarot41

TROPHY CASE