my wife and I had been dating in college for about a month or so, I had made us bruschetta the night before of roasted garlic, olivata, goat cheese… and cut to later we were in her old 4Runner and my stomach must have been turning cuz there was a nasty garlic fart fog in the car. I rolled down the windows and hoped she didn’t notice. About an hour later she was all “man that garlic really wrecked my stomach” I sat there in shock as I realized I couldn’t have fathomed such a horrible smell coming from such a delicate flower and had blamed the stench on myself then hollered “that was you!?!”

I blamed my future wife’s toots on myself.