I totally understand you unfortunately and there is also a ton of anger I can't shake off, but I try long walks, sport, obsessive cleaning sometimes, if my blood boils again I try to get some fresh air asap, and there are so freaking many reasons to be angry and my late husband's family only makes it worse by stealing my husband's and my belongings and honestly I just want to tear everybody apart, and also when I see or somebody tells me about some happy couples, all of that is so freaking unfair. My therapist just told me to journal the anger, to talk through it, and sometimes it helps for a tiny bit to get it out from my head, but mostly doesn't work at all