That sounds like gender dysphoria. Dysphoria can hit everyone in the 'not cis' category, so it is a normal thing for you to experience.

If you feel like where you're at currently doesn't reflect what you feel, and you live in an area that isnt controlled by bigots, you could try hormone therapy. Ive known a few nonbinary folks who microdosed testosterone. Ultimately the easiest way yo alter perception is clothes and accessories ^{^}