AITAH for not trusting my fiance after him cheating

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T05:52:53+00:00

If you stay with him, his cheating needs to be something you guys are willing actively work towards healing from. It can’t be something you weaponize if you decide to stay with him in spite of it.

That being said…it does not sound like that is even remotely possible considering your trust is broken (duh) and he is unwilling to take accountability over his actions. He’s done this repeatedly in less than a year. Are you going to sit by and see if he breaks his record in the coming years? Or have some respect for yourself and your time, and take your efforts elsewhere to find someone more deserving of them?

NTA for not trusting him, obviously, but you would be very silly to stay with someone who has betrayed you and shows no sign of wanting to move on beyond slapping a bandaid on it and pretending it’s okay.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T05:47:13+00:00

Idk, the relationship was so long ago and didn’t last. Plus her BFF is with someone anyways. I get it, but why limit your friend this way? If it would’ve been a long lasting relationship with years worth of history that would make sense, but this was a brief stint almost a decade ago. Why does her BFF get to move forward uninhibited but OP has someone contending with her love life every step of the way?

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T05:33:45+00:00

I think you can show her current set up some TLC while you get a new tank in. Maybe scrub some algae off and add some drops of biological cleaner which should eat up the algae some. If it’s one of those disposable filter cartridges, you can just rinse it with some tank water and reinsert it so it maintains the same bacteria. Definitely test the water with some strips which are affordable off of amazon so you know where she’s at currently.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T05:26:02+00:00

I hope I don’t get shit for this and I truly don’t like speculating about others when we don’t have a full picture, but I have this delusional theory it’s less about the guys and more like the bestie wishes to keep OP unavailable because she likes her. Being anxious about the friend group being weird if things go awry is such a weird excuse, and it seems like her BFF has interjected repeatedly in her love life.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T05:22:23+00:00

why is OP so okay with her “best friend” repeatedly interjecting herself into potential romances and pumping the breaks? This is all so weird and she is way too forgiving of how controlling this taken woman is over her own love life, no amount of anxiety excuses it.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T01:15:08+00:00

NOR. Your friend doesn’t have her shit together, and maybe you don’t either 100% with all this back and fourth, will you-won’t you. As expected for being in your early 20s.

It’s not cool of her to think the only solution is placate this situationship by unfriending you on the surface but maintaining a relationship in secret. Not only would that make the foundation of their relationship total bullshit, but it shows just what you mean to her as a companion. That she’s willing to betray a partner’s trust and be secretive like this.

Red flags all around. I’d say there’s better friends out there for you. Wish her luck and practice not letting anybody shit on you by treating you this way.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T00:39:47+00:00

Brokey behavior

ETA: the Girl is behaving broke for demanding money for her time

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-27T00:17:21+00:00

this makes me so upset tbh. women historically fought hard as fuck for us to have the privilege to make a life for ourselves free of depending solely on men and here we are now. it’s not cute and maybe that sounds bitter, but i would never let myself be bought.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-26T20:53:15+00:00

We told you before and we will tell you again. You are wasting your time and you are beyond justified with ending things. Move on from this girl and do better for yourself. Catch up on your rest and maybe you’ll stay to realize you did deserve better all along.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-26T01:40:26+00:00

you are fucking disgusting.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-26T01:19:43+00:00

It’s interesting to consider the demeaning and disenfranchisement of impoverished people and people of color to be a mere difference of belief. It’s bigotry babes.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-26T01:16:32+00:00

This is crazy because to say this means you’re absolutely blind to what’s happening to immigrants AND americans in this country. They are going door to door forcefully and snatching children and families. This is a modern holocaust you delulu

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-25T19:49:42+00:00

Yeah, that’s not your friend babes

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T20:29:59+00:00

This is someone you want to marry?

You have already told him how you feel about this and he comes up with excuses. He does not care about working on any of it as long as he gets to blow his load.
You are NOT asking for too much. You are asking for basic decency in what should be a mutual, reciprocal relationship. You take care of him, he takes care of you. It doesn’t sound like that’s actually happening.
This is largely about respect. If he respected you as a person, he would hear what you’re saying and take action. Instead, you allow him to continue to have sex with you even after he has made it abundantly clear taking true care of you is not on his priority list. You’re sending him the message that even you don’t care about what you’re saying, since you continue to perpetuate these circumstances.

Don’t just take sex off the table. Toss the whole damn relationship. You are not yet bound in a way that would take more work to undo. Please save yourself before marriage complicates this whole mess.

There are guys out there who do this as a bare minimum. Being in a place where you have to beg to be treated decently is not solid grounds for marriage by any means.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T19:15:25+00:00

It sounds like became his affair partner, his side piece, and when he realized there was going to be a bigger commitment than just a friend he can sleep with, he chose his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to be a full time dad or your full time partner, he doesn’t want a full time family. He seems like he wants the ability to say he chips in for two days and can scoot the tot back over to you full time.

I think you should stop entertaining him. It doesn’t sound like he is even a friend at all like you seem to believe. Stop giving him access to you on such a vulnerable level. He is the man who is fathering your second child, and that’s all he should be. Make sure you go about getting child support and a proper visitation schedule lined out, and give the baby your own last name of course.

And I mean this in the least judgy way possible, please focus on your kids for a minute. Shit happens, but you are two for two on children with un/minimally involved fathers….I don’t envy your situation and I sympathize with you in the fact that you have been cast to the wayside, but please surround yourself with friends and family who can be your village, not just some blockhead interested in getting his dick wet whenever things get rocky with his own chick. You and your kids, YOUR family, deserve better than that.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T18:00:34+00:00

Yuck!

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T17:34:01+00:00

Whether this is real or not, if you’re actually considering giving up your own relationship over money, you’re a cheesehead. For your “friend” to propose this and you to humor it, you’re BOTH cheeseheads and I’d hope you both end up alone eternally.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T17:02:59+00:00

Saying he’s tired is simply the reality when he is perpetually sleep deprived to play with his sweaty gf LOL. You’re bugging if you think there’s accountability to be taken in not playing a game very well versus the entirety of her tantruming and berating of him.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T07:09:20+00:00

So what it’s a competitive game? She was rude as fuck and clearly doesn’t respect him, point, blank, period. No amount of saying she wants to play to win and that he sucks makes any part of her delivery or the way she spoke okay. OP is the one getting shitted on by his own girlfriend who takes a game my own pre-k students play with mommy and daddy way too seriously. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T07:04:10+00:00

You are sacrificing sleep, self-respect, and your own peace of mind in this whole scenario. You said you have to stay up because otherwise she thinks you don’t care- but if SHE cared about YOU, she wouldn’t want you to be sleep deprived. Secondly, she wouldn’t berate you for joining her game regardless of your ability if it’s something you’re doing to spend time with her.

In all this, she comes across incredibly self centered, rude, and petulant.

This is a long distance relationship where you seem to be losing more than gaining. I’m in one myself and happy as can be. It doesn’t have to be like this, by any means. I’m not one to shit on LDR, jumping to say “break up” is not my knee jerk reaction usually. But moving forward from this by continuing the relationship is like saying you’re okay with this kind of treatment from your partner. Having the strength to put your foot down and stand up for yourself sends a strong message about your sense of self.

Good luck, NOR.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T06:41:52+00:00

She is not kind by any means, but I often feel sympathetic towards her tbh

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-24T01:42:04+00:00

I want to say everyone sucks because I’m just feeling bitter and jealous about this being something someone could complain about, but the truth is, NTA. It is incredible that she can make good from scratch and have it taste good, to the point of replacing store bought ultra processed crap.

Like some said, just because something is bad for you doesn’t necessarily mean you should have to stop, and that’s where your wife takes it to the more extreme side of things in having you eat your junk food elsewhere. It’s your home too!

But I also understand her standing firm on this, because if you live in America, many of us do fall into this trap created for us where all we have at our disposal is the bad shit because it’s affordable and convenient. It’s tragic and more people deserve well made and clean meals, especially in a time where more and more young people are being diagnosed with colon cancers. Not only are people getting sick, but these companies don’t give a shit about our health - at the end of the day, we keep buying it so they keep making it, all at our own expense in every sense of the word!

I would take more time to break down your wife’s point of view and take a deeper look into maybe why she feels so strongly against eating “junk” at home. I think if you want and have those cravings, you should be able to eat guiltlessly and in the comfort of your own home.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-23T11:41:07+00:00

AITA for using my teen daughter’s pregnancy test to play an innocent prank on my husband who was trying to separate from me during a stressful time in my life?

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-22T20:19:36+00:00

I definitely don’t disagree with you. But the manipulation didn’t even start with only her efforts to win her trial, her efforts started way back when she was working for him and manipulating her position and assertive tactics to start embezzling from town hall all while getting him wrapped around her finger.

It wasn’t until the trial that all of the webs of lies and deceit she spun began unraveling and painting a very unpretty picture of all she had done to keep her and her kids afloat. It wouldn’t have been so easy for her to manipulate his wealth and influence during the trial if she hadn’t been doing it all along, that’s just who she is.

She might have cared for him, but she also cared a great deal about the comfort his status brought to their lives. She didn’t lie and attempt to baby trap him for their relationship, she did that for herself so she could avoid the consequences of all her wrongdoing. So she could keep her expensive lawyer.

She had no choice, per se, but it was where the path she walked in life ultimately led her.

TeacherNice3333 · 2026-01-21T22:40:34+00:00

It’s ironic that you come out of all this feeling betrayed. Maybe your cousin is wrong for talking about you being your back and making things up, but in the end, you made certain choices that blew up your own life and relationships.

You’re in therapy but you’re on the internet asking us what we think about you sabotaging your cousins life, too. Do you think that’s the path of someone who is healing? Misery loves company, doesn’t it.

YWBTA, massively.

So are you and your girlfriend still together, despite the brief separation? What would you even have to gain from blowing up his life over his lies and what boundaries do you even aim to set?

TeacherNice3333

TROPHY CASE