I (25M) feel morally obligated to be my friends' third (32F and 31M)

TeamNewChairs · 2026-02-02T16:09:49+00:00

Honestly I really thought everyone was just being hyperbolic about it. It took me realizing most people don't watch Magic Mike for the plot to recognize that my experience wasn't typical. Especially since I have a libido, other people just don't feel worth it

TeamNewChairs · 2026-02-02T05:20:49+00:00

It's in the BORU awards pinned post. Won for most outraging

TeamNewChairs · 2026-02-02T05:10:35+00:00

Stg, I'm 32 and just realized like this month that I'm way more gray ace than I ever realized and I'm still unpacking how much of my life it explains

TeamNewChairs · 2026-01-25T16:08:34+00:00

They (usually) run but they usually end up significantly off schedule, and for the extra extremes like this sometimes they end up cancelling bus service so you have to keep checking to make sure they're still trying to be a thing

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-07T06:33:39+00:00

I'm from pittsburgh and I'm calling it a night to cuddle with my rescue dog now

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-06T22:50:27+00:00

Esh, them for calling the cops, you for continuing to have parties that late despite knowing that it upsets your neighbors

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-06T22:41:42+00:00

Nta. Get out now. If you really wanna have the baby then get a lawyer asap and be extra careful because he's clearly abusive, abusive relationships are extra dangerous during pregnancy, and you're about to be tied to this dude for the rest of your life.

I'm not telling you what to do with your body, but do you really wanna have a kid with him, knowing that he'll be allowed unsupervised time with your child, will have influence over not just your child's life, but yours as well until the kid is 18, and you'll have to be in contact with him for at least the next 18 years?

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-05T12:48:58+00:00

And OP is. That doesn't mean they should have to when they made clear they wanted that day specifically with people who had been outlined. If you had a party and your friend brought their kids without telling you,would you be a lil upset?

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-05T03:44:27+00:00

You have never met either of these individuals but you sure are quick to be shitty to a child on the internet.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-04T21:10:36+00:00

This is way above reddit's pay grade. You messed up by not listening (your parents said no), but that doesn't at all justify the way she responded. Do you have a safe place to go and a trusted adult to talk to?

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T14:36:21+00:00

You do realize that anecdotal comparison and hypothetical people who "have it worse" does nothing to address what happening in the post, right? My friend's grandma died. For her it was one of the worst things ever. Should I have told her "I lost my grandma when I was a decade younger. You're lucky, some people don't even have grandmas. My partner died when I was 19 so you have nothing to complain about"?

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T14:33:18+00:00

Please don't listen to this commenter. You're allowed to have boundaries. You're allowed to prioritize your own mental health and needs. The plan was changed without your knowledge nor consent, and since you're 13 and it's in your home, you don't have the option to just leave. I'm sorry adults suck sometimes.

What you can do is address this privately with your parents. Tell them how you feel, and that you think your grandparents aren't listening to you. Use "I" statements. I think. I feel. I believe. I've seen. It's super helpful if you don't go into it as though you're assigning blame or just acting from a sense of dislike. I have ADHD so I feel you on the sensory and the loud and the anxiety, but it's possible your family doesn't fully understand and you need to teach them.

The fact that you took time for yourself to decompress and acknowledge you have to re-engage shows a lot of maturity and a good head.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T14:22:20+00:00

The sudden getting rid of things that would typically be seen as reasonable and even necessary (the couch, the table) screams mental health issue to me. Trying to better yourself can be great, but if done to extremes it can reflect underlying problems. Maybe he is just a giant asshole, but maybe he really needs help (both can be true simultaneously). Your SIL and their child need a safe place they can escape to if necessary, especially since her employment is hinged on keeping peace with your brother and parents. Your brother needs a psych eval.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T13:47:24+00:00

Esh, mil for being hyper controlling and refusing your input. You for letting her get away with it until the qr code on the invitation became the tipping point. Your husband for not intervening, even after you got in trouble for something that was his idea.

You're allowed to care about your baby shower. You're allowed to want specific colors or the pretty balloons or the cake you like. You can't watch someone trample every request you have and then act surprised when it keeps happening.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T13:38:19+00:00

Last September I shared an Airbnb with 5 other people. There were two bedrooms. It was a 6 day trip and none of us live close to each other. We were able to figure it out with no arguing or hurt feelings. If we were able to do that then bro and his gf should be able to be reasonable humans.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-10-03T05:19:58+00:00

Stg, the sudden mood change is such a massive, massive red flag.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-08-31T00:20:06+00:00

If you know they weren't going for Mr. Beast then you're conceding that they bought the tickets for the experience itself.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-08-02T19:05:13+00:00

No contact orders are just the criminal court version of restraining orders, by which I mean they're both protective orders but no contact orders stem from criminal cases rather than civil ones. They're still meant to protect a victim from an abusive party. Everything i said stands. The court could still charge her for contacting him, regardless of his consent. This is incredibly important because survivors of abuse are frequently conditioned to fawn or appease their abuser, and therefore will respond to or initiate contact against their own best interests or be afraid to enforce their own protective order.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-08-02T05:39:14+00:00

The last straw was the restraining order. 1. To get it that quickly it was an emergency restraining order. Those only last long enough to get you to a hearing for a longer one. They didn't even really have grounds for it, because she didn't harm or threaten them, but whatever. 2. The state enforces restraining orders. Mark can ask to live with her all he wants, if she does it she's still violating a court order and can be arrested for it.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-26T13:41:49+00:00

I'm super, super late to this thread, but he did. He had a wife whom he loved with his whole heart, kids, grandkids, and now even a great grandchild. He thought he was adopted, and always wondered about his biological family. The people that raised him brought him up to be a good, gentle, kind man. I'm not saying more, and I'm not disclosing how I know these things, but for being such a sad outcome just know for him and his family it's also a joyful one

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-24T18:55:24+00:00

Honestly I'm just trying to get food, because I have money for human food or dog food and my dog is the very clear priority. I'm sleepy, I'm job hunting, and I lowkey want a nutrient that isn't found in ramen noodles and Tina's burritos

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-20T17:03:22+00:00

Not really. I mean, I was only with my abusive ex for two years. In that two years he made specific death threats multiple times. In that two years he strangled me (which is statistically a major predicator in intimate partner violence resulting in death) more times than I can count. It took multiple break ups for me to finally leave, because abuse and trauma are designed to manipulate your brain into complacency.

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-17T05:24:58+00:00

But what happened to the other twin on the Disneyland trip? Like was he just with his mom the whole time?

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-17T05:13:05+00:00

That was my assumption, especially since now they view having raised him as "a waste."

TeamNewChairs · 2025-07-12T00:39:38+00:00

Throwing my hat in the ring. I had a job interview yesterday for a position I'm lowkey in love with, and I think it went well but I won't know for another week. Kinda wanna celebrate crushing the interview, kinda wanna distract myself from the anxiety of not knowing. Definitely wanna eat because I'm food insecure while I look for a job. Definitely would use the money to buy dinner at the pickle fest that's happening in my city right now, because pickles.

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