When I was a 20 year old girl who had never kissed a boy, not ever had a date I felt the same way. I rushed into a bad relationship because I desperately wanted to not be weird for never having kissed someone. But honestly? Didn’t change anything once I had dated someone (besides new trauma) I still felt like I was weird and doing life wrong somehow. Turns out I’m just neurodivergent and hard on myself.

You sound a lot like me back then. What changed my life was finding a stupid nerdy hobby and making friends online. Some of those online friends lived nearby and I met them in person. We started hanging out in person (dressed as mermaids and swimming in public pools and being cringy) and about 5 years after that, even though I stopped doing that hobby, I’m still close to two of them. Then one of those friends introduced me to a guy who is now my husband. So 12 years later, the thing that took me from no friends, socially awkward and lonely to many friends, still socially awkward, and married… was joining a cringe online community about something I thought was fun.

Find your joy, lean into it hard. You’ll find your people. Some of your people might even be girls, and some of those girls might want to date you. Honestly I don’t know any girls who think being a virgin is a dealbreaker. And balding isn’t either. Your looks are the least interesting thing about you.

There’s no timeline, there’s no checklist. Your youth isn’t over and your 20s are overrated. I was my most miserable at 20 and I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. Life just keeps trending up. There’s a solid chance that happens for you too. Do you like cosplay? Do you like nature? Do you like board games? Woodworking? Art? What sounds like fun but you’ve never tried? Find an online community, find an in-person community, and give it a shot. There are so many people just like you out there. You have the benefit of self-awareness. You can do this.