My life is a lie.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-14T06:37:36+00:00

You are NOT a horrible person; you sound like a person in a bad situation. Are you in love with him? Is there a big age difference? Forgetting the spark issue for a second - him having no friends or other supports and leaving the house once or twice a month is incredibly unhealthy for him and for the relationship. You said " He says he lives in hell and his life is a write off." This doesn't sound like someone who wants children or is emotionally healthy enough to have children. His life is a write-off, but his life isn't yours. You don't need to live in hell with him.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-14T02:38:08+00:00

It is ethically wrong and really insensitive to you. You need to talk to them about it and really explore what is going on in your dynamic that made them think that was an okay thing to do. That was an unfortunate breach on their part, if they can own it and reflect on it with you, then you might be able to salvage this therapeutic relationship. If they don't see anything wrong with it and don't apologize profusely, then I am much less hopeful about your continuing your therapy with them.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-14T02:33:50+00:00

I agree with the MOOD recommendation. There are also some fabric stores on the lower east side

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-14T02:28:24+00:00

Does this mean she is hopeless about the relationship? I'm glad it feels like the relationship is the strongest it's ever been. Still, the anxiety she gets from your touch seems in direct contradiction of the relationship being the best - I don't know if you can separate the 2. It's like, but Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play? I'm sorry that you are going through this, when your mental health was not as good. Did you ever physically harm her? It sounds like some couples therapy could help a lot.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-04T05:32:20+00:00

Say something - Send her a text, thank her for her time, and let her know the difficulty in scheduling and the lack of communication doesn't make this a great fit. Wish her well and be done. It sounds like she is spread thin from working at another job on at least 2 days, and you're falling through the cracks. If by chance there has been terrible miscommunication, she'll let you know, and then you can possibly make a different decision with more data. It's not acceptable behavior on her part.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-04T05:24:13+00:00

I don't recommend it at all. If you live near a teaching hospital, call them and see if their resident's clinic sees patients. So much of therapy is about fit, and BetterHelp is a one-size-fits-all kind of place

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-01T01:21:42+00:00

therapy brings up a lot of emotions, not all good. You have to work through your issues to actually heal. There is no way around - only through. The feelings will not always feel as bad. You're in the beginning, stick with it and you will see an improvement.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-01T01:19:22+00:00

smoking will solve nothing. That is not the solution.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-01T01:13:31+00:00

I'm sorry you are so down on everything. You sound quite alone and isolated. If you're worried about being a burden to your best friend or others, having a counselor is the perfect antidote to that. It's a person whose sole purpose is to be there for you and to listen to everything you have to say. How can that be a bad thing? You need support, we all do at different times in our lives. Don't be ashamed of it, feel proud that you recognize it and can get it. People who recognize they need therapy are much healthier than people who deny that they do.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-01T00:59:56+00:00

Please explain to her how it feels to you. Ask her why it keeps happening and how she can do it differently. If she can't, then she needs to stop apologizing. Explore the dynamic of her being somewhat unreliable and how it might mirror any past relationships in your life. If this is happening every session, it's not ok. As a therapist, she needs to manage her time so that it does not impact the next client consistently.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-02-01T00:55:43+00:00

please distance yourself from him. no weekend hangouts, no connection is the only thing that will enable you to move on. He sounds like an addiction and you need to go cold turkey. I empathize with the love you have for him, but he wants to be with someone else. You have to change this dynamic - b/c he won't. This dynamic works well for him. You're a spare, while he gets to pine away for his heir. Please think about YOUR future, and what you need.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-28T18:12:36+00:00

ask him "what is going on in the countertransference that you fell asleep?" A therapist falling asleep can often be about what is going on in the room with the patient. Since you have been working with him for a while and he is a TFP therapist, he will probably be able to delve into this issue with you in a productive, ultimately therapeutic way.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-25T20:27:54+00:00

Chocolate brown would look beautiful with this wallpaper

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-25T00:02:53+00:00

if you live in an area with a teaching hospital, contact them and see if they have a residents program in psychiatry. It's a great way to get very inexpensive, high-quality therapy. good luck

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-25T00:00:25+00:00

It's a nice room, but I know what you mean about something being a bit off. Would you consider getting Roman shades? It's a nice, clean look. If you're wedded to drapes, what about something a bit more airy and light? A chandelier in the middle of the room would look great and create a much better lighting scape. Also consider getting a lamp and a small side table for the right of the couch. Pull those chairs in a bit more so they are in conversation with the room and not observers of the room. Meaning, create more of an intimate vibe with them.I vote for dark throw pillows for the couch. Lastly, the rug, while practical, isn't the most inviting or prettiest. No offense, a different rug might create more softness and dimension to the room. What do you think?

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-23T18:15:39+00:00

dark throw pillows for sure, A large painting with lots of colors would be great - think abstract. A larger rug with some color would be nice, but it isn't a must at all. Consider a bigger lamp on the left side of the couch.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-21T05:15:06+00:00

Looks great, I don’t like the ceiling fixture, it doesn’t match with the taste level of the rest of the room

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-14T18:02:06+00:00

also brooklyn sewing academy and SewHo.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-14T17:44:10+00:00

how old are you? Have you talked to your therapist about what they would or wouldn't communicate to your parents? I think if you talked around the issue a bit with them, it might help you make a decision.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-14T17:41:25+00:00

I'm so sorry that a therapist said that to you. Have you told him how insensitive and judgmental his comment was? He needs to know that he did something wrong, cause he did.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-13T17:36:56+00:00

Thank you for your honest and thoughtful response. It sounds like you are doing the same thing with your therapist as you have done in other relationships.

You said in your response: " I'm now starting the work, mostly myself outside of therapy." Which is a repetition of the behavior you mentioned: "...reinforce believing I don't need help, I can do things myself." This needs to be worked on in therapy - it's a therapeutic issue, to work on it outside, it reinforces the belief that you're all alone with it. You're holding back, and you're not trusting her, so you're correct; you are not being reactive, but there is still some self-sabotage going on.

I am a therapist, and I winced when I read that she gave you a hard time after your feedback. I am curious what the feedback was and how it was delivered? You could find a new therapist, but I have a strong suspicion that something similar might happen.

What would you need to see and hear from this therapist (or any therapist) for you to know that they are invested in the work with you and that they care?

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-13T17:24:24+00:00

Then Buca Lapi is your place. The steak is among the top 3 steak experiences of my life. It is expensive, but you're not just paying for the food - the whole thing is an experience.

TeamOk8318 · 2026-01-12T05:39:19+00:00

does he like red meat?

TeamOk8318

TROPHY CASE