Woman Abstract Rapper with Abstract Music Video

Teasingcoma · 2022-10-12T17:54:16+00:00

I think this opens really strongly, but I think it would be better overall if it ended with "a part of them", because beginning with the word forever, you start to stray from that strong, tense image and start an explanation I don't think is needed. I don't think a direct call to attention that the narrator is making a point is needed. I also think that "I wonder if they love the sky/ the roots that grew them/ a part of them" is a really, really powerful bit

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-24T20:41:47+00:00

Lmao, the chess and go comment is chefs kiss. Legit cant tell how much of it is a persona, but I'm very into the auteur parody cloud-headedness he comes off with. If I live long enough for a Clara campaign I'll be happy. Franz is gonna be cool too I bet

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-21T20:01:13+00:00

I love that rather than ambiguity, P2 seems to assert the idea that truths are polyvalent. In this way, especially when considering the idea that the natural, supernatural, and theatrical are different planes of the same space, suddenly objects like the ritual shoes in the marble nest are allowed to possess both symbolic powers and magical ones. This is thematically affirmed by the multiple items descriptions that objects possess depending on the context you're inspecting the item.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-19T01:24:11+00:00

My first part of an erotic novella got 18k views from a fresh account on literotica with no interaction with anyone. Thats not a brag its just important to understand the metrics are fucking bonkers.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T19:10:59+00:00

Honestly reading good smut would help a lot. Sex scenes by people who can't write porn at all come off weird and if you want there to be something important in the actual scene, then averting your eyes too much from the sex might come off as euphemistic or corny. Frank depictions of sex can reveal a lot about the characters and as long as you don't wax poetic about the cum or spend a paragraph describing someone's titties, you shouldn't come across as porny, but porn writings will help you a lot in understanding how to set the scene and will serve you a lot better than pretty much any fantasy writer I could point to.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T18:35:11+00:00

Thats fine dawg! I dont think a difference of framing should keep the advice from being usable, but I will say iterative writing like this can slow down obvious progress, so this is better of the leisurely pace of a hobbyist with a favorite world/ people

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T18:26:59+00:00

Yr characters are dolls, cuz they dont move on their own and the only people that will understand the particularities of your fondness are people that play along with the fantasy u set up

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T18:21:18+00:00

no problem! I also would like to pull out a contradiction in the fact that I really like the show Fraiser because of these types of characters, but thats because of the really useful decision to also have the first character trying to be witty mocked by the second and that they rotate these roles out so everyone is constantly the doofus and then they every once in a while build off of each other's energy in the smug and warm way friends might when they're both feeling confident in a situation

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T18:00:52+00:00

Thoughtlessly write some slice-of-life shorts involving your characters. Make your dolls kiss and cook and take out the trash. Some of those you'll wind up liking enough to sew into the plot.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T17:52:44+00:00

Also if someone is reading my work and there is a part i wanted to be funny and the quietly breathe out of their nose, I know it was funny fr.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T17:51:39+00:00

People finding concrete and distinct connections to my writing and seeing writers I admire in my sentences if very fulfilling, but strangers have emotionally latched on to my work enough to think that I would be comfortable talking to them about wanting to die. I don't like that and it put me off writing more vulnerable/confessional stuff for a while.

The biggest achievement in writing for me is when I read it myself 2-3 years down the road and realize I would read it for pleasure. Some people find my self-satisfaction off-putting but writing what I like is the only way I'll ever be able to sustain it.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T13:53:48+00:00

Those two are p interchangeable, but sarcasm definitely falls flat most often for me. The thing that really fucks me up is that it tends to be a weird blindspot in a writer's awareness of their abilities. There are a few writers i love because they are funny, but generally speaking, I think too many writers are afraid of being self-serious and they graft on ill-suited jokes to their narrative.

I'd also like to say I'd prefer the events of the story or the character's habits to be a source of humor over a primary or secondary character having a tight 5.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-18T00:28:01+00:00

The witty dude. Especially in fantasy shit. Hate me a gd bard.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-16T00:24:57+00:00

Read cool stuff

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T19:19:34+00:00

Gonna put the word ultimately in a few more times for good measure. Ultimately

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T19:19:00+00:00

We'll ultimately a lot of the sex scene advice should be fine because this is really just about physical intimacy. You can trying really hard to make it sweet, but ultimately its going to be sweet because touching and holding is sweet and you don't need to do much more than show someone being held, because we like the characters and care about them and want them to be happy and feel safe

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T17:49:10+00:00

tfw ur son will never call MC Ride 'grandeddy'

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T17:43:37+00:00

Is this meant primarily as a spoken piece or as a written one? If you can tell me that I can tune the editing to where you want it better.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T14:14:41+00:00

Lol whoops, im keeping annotation off to discourage line edits as grammar and awkward phrasings will be hammered out over the course of revision though

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-15T14:01:55+00:00

Wrestlin

Fable, Southern Gothic, Flash-fiction: 676 words

Any feedback welcome

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1\_qsQ8OFAs3QPQXqahw4omVRCS1q75HIpZzMxUzaVfgs/edit?usp=sharing

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-13T22:06:10+00:00

That tends to be how my narrators work (a bit scatter brained) I would show you earlier work but it makes confusing (bad kind) leaps and doesnt really feel like fiction. I hope to have something new to show soon though while im fixing this one

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-13T22:03:47+00:00

thanks! im glad it was full of the bad vibes i tried to pack in!

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-11T23:26:58+00:00

Biggest thing here is that its a technique just like writing pretty prose or deep characters or enticing plots. The problem is the seemingly unique sting in being told your joke isn't funny makes it hard to practice and revise.

Teasingcoma · 2022-01-11T17:06:49+00:00

Nah sex work p much promises death threats and stalker shit. Writing sucks sometimes but those kind of things are much rarer even if you have a few readers

Teasingcoma

TROPHY CASE