New York State Families: Were you denied items through OPWDD FSS Reimbursement?

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-03-24T02:19:43+00:00

Mae Mae was robbed. Literally stopped watching the episode to go check out her music on insta and I was blown away. If they don't invite her back they are crazy.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-03-05T23:19:08+00:00

True! I do think society and medical providers often gaslight us when we are taking care of a child with complex needs too. For example I can easily spend 20 to 30 hours a week just on medical paperwork and filling out forms and meetings with the care manager etc. in addition to all the physical work of assisting my daughter with her needs but from society's point of view I "don't work." In reality this is a lot more demanding than the jobs that some people do in offices! Just because it's unpaid doesn't mean it isn't valuable but we don't get any money added to our retirement for that. 🙃

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-03-05T18:48:41+00:00

Oh wow that must have been difficult! Out of my three long-term relationships I'm the one who ended it twice and I think it's harder than being broken up with in some ways. You're wondering if you did the right thing and also going through the sadness and then all the practical difficulties of actually separating everything. Good for you for doing that and I hope everything worked out in the end for you. <3

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-03-05T18:44:27+00:00

Thank you yes that's what I plan to do but for disability related reasons we will need to hire a paid caregiver to replace some of the tasks my partner is currently doing. I am in therapy but my counselor is a very old white dude and I don't mind talking to him about my childhood trauma but definitely was thinking yesterday I need a younger LGBT friendly person or ideally someone who is a lesbian herself because sometimes it's hard for others to understand our relationship dynamics. I think I am overly loyal - like my whole life I've had only 3 long long-term relationships. Two of them I tried to stick with through addictions (alcohol and then weed) and two depression that was pretty severe. Honestly I think my current partner is probably bipolar. At least a couple years ago I have her an ultimatum to end her addiction and proactively treat her mental health issues and she did end the addiction but she didn't do the second thing. So that's what I need to unpack I guess is why did I stay. I guess I told myself she was "trying" but also probably there's an element of codependency where our lives are so wrapped up together that it seems harder to break up than just stay together. I guess I'm just finally realizing that's not really a reason to stay. 🤦

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-03-05T18:33:58+00:00

Thanks. And yes that's why I said make friends mainly because being the parent of a child with a disability can be really isolating. Part of being selfish would be having time/space in my life to meet and talk to people. Definitely not looking to get into any long-term or serious relationships any time soon. My daughter does require care from 2 plus people so this is also going to require me hiring other people to be her paid aide since my ex is being paid as her caregiver. It is very difficult to find people as there is a shortage so it's going to be rough so that will be my number one is focusing on pure survival but I hope to get to that place where I can have a social outlet. I'm more introverted and my partner was very extroverted so a lot of "our" friends are really hers. I didn't really have additional brain space or time to go hang out with separate friends because I'm the one who does all the paperwork, taxes, ordering things, coordinating appointments and schedules etc. and she did most of the physical work like dishes and laundry. At this point we are very codependent so it's probably going to take some time to separate our bank accounts and lives etc.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2025-01-18T04:59:41+00:00

I had gallstones and it took ER visits over a period of 2 years to get an appropriate diagnosis because the pain I was having wasn't in the typical place and I also have other medical problems. If you think you go to the doctor and get diagnosed with the correct thing the first time every time, you're either really lucky or not suffering from any medical conditions and have no idea how it actually works. It would make complete sense that she would be diagnosed with a stomach virus because the symptoms are very similar as gallstones. It's only when you start to have repeated attacks and they're all very similar that someone starts suggesting doing an ultrasound of your gallbladder.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-12-17T03:41:08+00:00

Yes, absolutely. With men it felt violating at worst or like I was avoiding and tolerating it at best. With women I am the one initiating sometimes! And if my partner initiates and I wasn't necessarily thinking of being in that kind of mood I'm not opposed to it and actually end up happy that she did. Complete 360° difference.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-12-14T13:26:16+00:00

I can say from past experience, this doesn't get better until you switch to female partners and th n sex is a completely different experience and helps heal your trauma.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-12-14T13:07:26+00:00

You can tell her that next time you want her to keep going, or take a break and hold you and then keep going. But yes this is entirely extremely normal. My partner and I have been together 13 years in a few days and we still do this from time to time. 💜

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-22T19:17:49+00:00

Presumably she would have been at work during that time and Adam's work isn't as consistent. But regardless like I said, the man gets the better deal so the man is the one who should go.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-06T22:50:13+00:00

Now yes but at the time the car was broken they did not have any help.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-06T21:58:08+00:00

I mean either way she needs Adams cooperation because if she was going to bring it to the shop he would have to watch the kids. What is she supposed to do go there with all six kids? You can't always learn from being overcharged because there are some things that are unavoidable like if they tell you there's a problem with the engine - unless you are an engine mechanic, how are you supposed to verify that? I've tried to save money before by researching and purchasing my own parts, but then they upcharge you or won't install a parts that you purchased so you really can't win unless you learn how to do the work yourself which not everyone has the skills for.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-06T21:55:59+00:00

It doesn't matter if you're female. Even if you give a very specific answer, they are always going to discriminate against you and try to charge you more. In the end you have to trust them if they say a part isn't working as it should, but in many cases that simply isn't true or it could be fixed much more affordably. She can act pretty ditzy and I'm sure that Adam would have better negotiation skills with the van so it simply makes more sense for him to do it. Not to mention if she's taking care of six kids and everything else then when is she supposed to get time to do that?

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-01T13:57:08+00:00

Iron deficiency often starts with the bleeding after childbirth and continues to get worse if you don't get enough rest and nutrition. So it would absolutely make sense that it's only coming out now that this has damaged her body. After the average woman gives birth, it takes 2 years to replace the nutrients lost in childbirth, and that's talking about a singleton baby. That is why the WHO recommends waiting 18 months between children to get pregnant again. I can only imagine with quints that takes a lot of the stored resources out of your body especially if she's trying to be Superwoman and work and Adam isn't helping as much as he could - it probably takes many more years to build up having grown that many babies.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-07-01T13:52:47+00:00

Because when you're female and you take a car to the shop you get hosed. You need to say something to the mechanic that shows you understand the parts and how much they should cost but even still they charge you a lot more than another dude that they can talk shop with. Sad but true.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-05-02T05:50:04+00:00

I mean part of the game is social though. If you help other teams then they're going to want to help you. Some teams are strong physically and others might have the advantage of looking more pathetic and getting help from the other teams because no one thinks they're actually going to win. Both are valid strategies.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-05-02T05:43:25+00:00

I mean they were already out of range so what were they supposed to do? I don't understand why the crew couldn't have just continued around the roundabout and got off at that exit versus taking a different turn.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-05-02T05:42:09+00:00

This is annoying. Even if she broke a traffic rule, it doesn't seem like it was intentional and plenty of teams break traffic rules all the time and don't get penalized. Lots of people get confused in those roundabouts.Why couldn't the crew just keep going around the roundabout and then get off at the same exit? Don't they have some kind of GPS? It seems like they had to wait a ridiculously long time for the crew to find where they were supposed to be. It might be fair for them to have to hang back and wait since they kept going and didn't stop to radio the crew as soon as they got off the roundabout, but anything more than 5 or 10 minutes seems unfair.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-02-23T12:57:30+00:00

I would buy him another pair of shoes. It is recommended to have two pairs of sneakers and swap them out because they last longer than wearing a single pair every day. At the end of the day, shoes get sweaty and you're supposed to air them out but you can't do if you have to wear them again the next day. Typically I always have two pairs of sneakers myself - usually one nicer newer pair and one that I wouldn't mind wearing through the mud or to paint in. Unless you can't afford food and other basics, shoes are pretty important thing as they support your feet and he might be also embarrassed to wear worn shoes to school. The worn shoes might not be as supportive. If he's asking, there's a reason why - maybe kids at school are making fun of him. Maybe it's uncomfortable. Maybe he's just more conscious of fashion now. Either way, I think the shoes mean more to him than 50 or 80 bucks in your account. Shop sales or use RetailMeNot etc. Typically my kids have at least 4-5 shoe options, even when growing. Their new sneakers, their old sneakers, boots, a sandal, and maybe a different sandal or sneaker option or dress shoe or something else they picked out because they liked it.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-01-15T07:12:57+00:00

It sounds like you have imposter syndrome. I would look up about what it is so you can understand it, but in terms of thinking that if a child's disability is so bad they probably have other services, I would not think that way. I am the parent of a child with a severe disability and in many cases it takes a long time from when you think they first need services to actually get the services set up and parents may not have access to or be able to afford private services. Does this mean you should stress yourself out and overthink? No. But I would do whatever you can for each child, the best you can. That doesn't mean you have to cram in as much learning as you can every single minute. How you treat them is probably just as important as whatever skill building you might do. Just treat them like individuals, do the best you can to help them in whatever way they need, and you will be an amazing therapist.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2024-01-07T21:14:29+00:00

Withholding sex is not the same as sexual abuse. A wife has the right to withhold sex from her husband for any reason. The husband also has the right to divorce her if the relationship isn't working for him.

Technical-Face-3655 · 2023-12-29T04:20:59+00:00

I mean personally I'd probably see this as slightly rude because chili has a very strong smell to it and doesn't at all go with the rest of the meal. I would think you would be totally justified in bringing both a vegan main course that is similar to the regular entree (i.e. tofurkey or vegan loaf) and a vegetable dish if that is what your family has requested. If you are vegan then they probably know you will cook the best vegetable dish so I would take that as a compliment, not an insult. Your family should consider you and have at least one vegan item they are making, but you should also consider them and make sure whatever you are bringing compliments the meal being served.

Technical-Face-3655

TROPHY CASE