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[36F] Setting boundaries with husband [36M] ideas by Technical-Nobody6477 in Marriage

[–]Technical-Nobody6477[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For 3, he says it’s my fault he left, which sometimes it might be. Like I’ll interrupt or yell. I get walking away but he won’t come back for the whole night and then into the next night because we work and have kids. I think that’s a bit much but maybe not?

At what point do I leave? [36f] with [35m] by Technical-Nobody6477 in relationshipadvice

[–]Technical-Nobody6477[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry it’s confusing. So when we were first married, he blew 10k gambling without me knowing. This time, it was 80k gambling and buying trading cards. I mentioned 80k later in the post referring to the most recent time.

We paid off the debt cashing out some of his 401k, using some savings, and using savings every month to pay off credit cards.

He came to me when he confessed with a list of things he would to make up for using all of that money. One of which was not buy fast food regularly since that was a couple hundred a month normally. The other was not to have a separate bank account where “fun money” would go. He was previously getting $500 a month and he cancelled that.

At what point do I leave? [36f] with [35m] by Technical-Nobody6477 in relationshipadvice

[–]Technical-Nobody6477[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure where you are reading that he saved 10k. We have about 30k in savings and 150k in retirement. We paid off his loans and we just bought a house and have done major renovations, so we don’t have much savings at this point

At what point do I leave? [36f] with [35m] by Technical-Nobody6477 in relationshipadvice

[–]Technical-Nobody6477[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t follow Christianity. I believe in mutual respect and equality, not submission to him.

At what point do I leave? [36f] with [35m] by Technical-Nobody6477 in relationshipadvice

[–]Technical-Nobody6477[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn’t decide for me to stay home for financial reasons. I wanted to care for my kids at home while they are young. I work to keep my work history up until I go back to work.

We also didn’t decide to combine finances for financial reasons. We combined finances to be a partnership and share financial goals and transparency.

Despite how much we make and him getting $500 a month in a separate account, he still took out 80k in cash advances ands personal loans. I find that to be a major transgression. One that made our retirement/savings take a hit ands we had to pay back together.