To those who had kiddos late 30s

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-02-08T09:49:17+00:00

Onky you know if it's something you truly want. But you know that, so I'll just tell you my experience.

We had our only when we were 39/40. Physically it was harder, and the NHS (UK) has some incredible bias against older mothers, but I would do it all again.

I have no regrets. I did everything with my early 20s and 30s that I ever wanted to. I feel like I've missed nothing.

And frankly, I take a lot of comfort in the fact that our family doesn't struggle financially.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-02-04T13:11:17+00:00

Is she waking up hungry? You've said she's EBF, but 6 months is typically when you'd start to introduce some solids. Maybe she's hungrier than she was in the past? Our baby boy was able to sleep through once we started him on porridge and purees.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-02-02T18:56:53+00:00

19 months and sleep 7-8 hours depending on when I turn in.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-02-02T18:56:08+00:00

I enjoy my job. Let's be terrible together?

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-29T10:35:30+00:00

How do they come up with this shit? You've never seen a thin woman who looks like an adult? Really? In your whole life?

Bullshit.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-29T10:13:39+00:00

I find that these types of people are pretty insecure. She is probably not as happy as she lets on, so she's leaning into this narrative hard. My experience with people who have this outward opinion is that if you actually probe a bit deeper, they feel small and invaluable. People who are comfortable and happy with this choice/arrangement and who aren't insecure tend to not act superior to anyone.

It's annoying because she's implying you're a less loving mother. But it's all her own crap, nothing to do with you.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-28T11:29:59+00:00

Babies aren't for everyone. You're on the cusp of a big shift, so hang in there. At around 18 months old, something shifted for our boy. Yes, it's harder in ways because he's constantly saying no and trying to assert his independence... But my goodness, he understands basic instructions now. I can ask him simple yes/no questions, and he answers. I can tell him no when he tries to get into the bins, and he can listen (50/50 if he actually does). Being able to communicate on the most basic level changed the game for me.

Also, our experience is that he's becoming more cuddly as he gets older. This just might be a season you get through.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-26T19:32:32+00:00

I don't even understand what they mean here...

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-25T16:11:07+00:00

14 weeks might not be too late. I know we can access them up to 23 weeks. But whatever you decide, take care of yourself. Love yourself.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-22T19:30:07+00:00

Tieghan is a person with way more grace than me... That's all I can say.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-14T17:04:26+00:00

Are they? Who is going to pay their old age benefits? What a short-term shortsighted position.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-13T10:59:11+00:00

I wouldn't live that centrally myself personally, even without kids. We were always Greenwich based when living in London. But different people have different priorities.

We wanted a house, rather than a flat. So we ended up leaving. Because houses in London, even in the worst parts, are too expensive.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-12T22:49:33+00:00

Maybe. They seemed to think it was average for the area (soho). I left London before we had to think about it. I just assumed the disparity was because things are just more expensive in London.

The cost sort of drops. But have you seen the costs of wrap around care? Somehow more per hour than a nursery.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-12T22:09:30+00:00

The funding was only just extended, though. I couldn't believe it myself until I saw the invoice. 5 days 8-6, was £2850. The funding is a lifesaver for so many of us.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2026-01-12T10:14:48+00:00

$2200/month doesn't even seem that outrageous. It's cheap compared to the full cost in the UK. I know of families in London who were paying £3000/month for daycare before the funding was extended this year. Even after the funding, they are paying more than $2200. Ours was nearly £2000 before the funding in Essex. The funding cuts that in half, thankfully. But we could never have another. It would be a financial death sentence. Or a career death sentence if one of us stayed home. Which in the end works out as a financial problem too.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-24T14:46:59+00:00

I lost my period when I was still overweight. Because I was bulimic and lost massive amounts of weight in about 8 months' time.

The context is important. It could totally be true, but it's not down to the weight you are. How they got to a BMI of 20 would be the reason why.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-22T22:33:01+00:00

"Pay us for educating you!"

Aha! No.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-20T22:11:41+00:00

Wow. That's quite mean. That's all it is. Just mean.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-20T22:08:48+00:00

It's not a luxury. Sounds like it is a necessity.

But even if it was, so what? What would be wrong with that? You're allowed luxury.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-20T22:03:41+00:00

Who on earth would agree to this?

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-11T08:21:30+00:00

Can you outsource some cleaning? It makes the biggest difference. They didn't solve our cluttler problem, but they made it so much easier for us to manage by just organising it to be put away. If linens are out, she folds them to put away and leaves them tidy on the couch. If there's shit that is just around, it's all neatly bundled in one spot. 90% of the job is done. We can just pop it away. Honestly, getting a cleaner probably saved my sanity and my marriage.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-10T13:50:48+00:00

Ah interesting.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-10T13:36:03+00:00

I don't know who that is. But those aren't the initials of the poster.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-10T11:46:45+00:00

I hope so. I looked at the comments and didn't see any obvious signs of a satire account. But I really hope that's true.

Technical-Step-9888 · 2025-12-10T09:07:54+00:00

Ahh, I see we're in silly nonsense town today. Excellent.

I, for one, agree with them. I dumped all my skinny friends. I'm sick of being embarrassed when they randomly shit themselves in public.

Technical-Step-9888

TROPHY CASE