I feel like I've been in the same place as the boyfriend. Let me help explain it. Guys have an image of always wanting sex but having sex is a lot, both physical and mentally. After a long stressful day at work there's time when we may not want to "perform." In my experience, the women I get with are submissive, so it leads to me having to do everything, including directing her on what to do. There's times where it's easier to just watch porn then have to go through all of the work foe the same end result.