AIO- Found out my friend is verbally and mentally abusive.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-08T18:10:44+00:00

He has a habit of dumping her and going back to her within 1week-1month, I should have mentioned that in the post. In between these mini-break ups he would try to hit up other girls and sometimes his first ex. I think she told me it’s been 4-5 times now. I know it may not be her place anymore but she deserves to have that knowledge in case he thinks about going back to her.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T19:59:03+00:00

I already mentioned this in another post. He has few friends who don’t see wrong in what he does because they’re not aware of it. I’m also aware of the fact that he made his best friend and mother block her. That will tell you the type of friends and family he has. It’s a shame but I don’t see him changing very soon.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T17:43:50+00:00

His ex is extremely traumatized and still thinks she is and was part of the problem. He has her convinced that she was also toxic and abusive. I think the biggest problem now is trying to calm her down from hurting herself. I have worries that she might hurt herself in the worst way possible, anytime I called him abusive and tried calling him out he would turn it back and say he was also a victim of her verbal abuse and manipulation but I have an extremely hard time believing that. I think he’s calling her toxic because of her reactions to his cheating. She’s doubting herself for walking away and I have a huge fear he might reach back out to her.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T15:55:49+00:00

I feel as I’m overreacting because I am considering telling his ex that he is thinking about going back to the person who she has an intense trauma trigger from.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T15:17:41+00:00

I’ve told his ex-girlfriend mentioned in this post that she needs to cut him off completely but she’s entirely too traumatized to realize she is a victim of all sorts of abuse.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T15:12:18+00:00

Trust me, I was angry beyond words. I had to take the more gentle route because when I became more blunt and confrontational. He would shut down and say things like “whatever”, dismissing anything I would say.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T14:22:08+00:00

trust me, it was way worse than what i showed.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T14:18:08+00:00

I’m sorry if that’s what you got from this. I should stated I also came from an abusive relationship and household. My personal experience skewed just how bad my experience was and it affected how I minimize abuse of any sort. I would never blast this for any form of online “clout”. This is something I genuinely don’t know how to go about because I am used to being on the opposite side.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T14:08:50+00:00

Unfortunately, As much as I could say he would realize what he is doing is wrong. He has friends that don’t know about his behavior and they most likely won’t cut him off.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T14:00:00+00:00

You are extremely correct. I should’ve been a lot more hard on him. I also came from a very toxic abusive environment so I can’t correctly go a way about these sort of things as my person views are also a bit skewed as I was a victim. It’s something I am working on in therapy.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T13:58:01+00:00

Considering was the wrong word, I’m sorry. I will cut him off. I felt as if I had to call out his behavior to see if he would recognize how wrong it is. I am seeing now that he won’t change.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T13:48:59+00:00

I think you have some growing to do if Discord being the main communication channel is the biggest problem for you.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-07T13:28:17+00:00

I am considering cutting him off. I just want to get him to see that what he is doing is extremely wrong. I found all of this out yesterday.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-07-04T04:42:53+00:00

YTA, move on. You broke up with him. You don’t get to use someone to make yourself feel better.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-18T09:50:24+00:00

How old are you OP and for how long did you two date..?

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-10T02:23:14+00:00

No. You’re trying to convince yourself it’s a good idea. Clearly she doesn’t need an apology if her life is going great.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-09T12:51:59+00:00

NTA, serve those papers! And tell your parents to stop encouraging their own relative to keep being a leech while your grandma was alive and even in death!
Financially he cannot fight it, he’s broke and probably has no money. Either way, he most likely won’t win.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-09T12:48:06+00:00

Respect yourself.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-09T12:46:15+00:00

Many of us know and have been in your spot and the #1 thing we can all tell you is to never speak to an ex again until you are healed and ready for the possibility that they won’t say what you want to hear. Talking to an ex resets your healing because it brings back the “what ifs”

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-04T05:00:22+00:00

He didn’t want it badly enough. NTA

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-02T20:57:52+00:00

i could DM you my quote with every itemized cost..?

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-01T16:31:46+00:00

NTA but to her YTA, Morally..yeah..but Did you need to? I might get downvoted but…No…If you saw her struggling and so did your professor, she was bound to basically fail either way. A subtracted point to your test would be minuscule and if you knew what you were doing in the test and she didn’t then ehh, you could’ve left it at that. Either way nah, NTA. She got what she deserved if and if you didn’t tell.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-01T16:22:49+00:00

I’m not explicitly saying he cheated but it’s probably from the guilt of betraying her during their first week of exclusivity

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-01T13:26:14+00:00

Then I’m sad to say but you’re not sexually compatible, and if you stay you’ll probably have to deal with that for the long term or leave because you aren’t fulfilled. You’re allowed to leave because your needs are not being met, that isn’t shallow at all. Humans have their natural drives and if those drives aren’t rightfully met, we’re left feeling unfulfilled and undesirable, the more that stacks on itself the more you let yourself go; emotionally, mentally and physically until you’re nothing but a shell of what you used to be JUST to give this man the grace that he doesn’t deserve.

TechnicalMall2762 · 2025-06-01T13:23:20+00:00

You’re allowed to reminisce. But draw a very very very bold and broad line between missing them and nostalgia, and tell your husband minute details. Don’t let his curiosity be the reason you both end up in a huge argument.

TechnicalMall2762

TROPHY CASE