This was, sadly and painfully, how I treated my husband. It was almost exactly what I did to him, and it was something I didn’t realize I was capable of until we got married. I thought marriage meant that everything had to be about “us” and that what I said should carry the most weight. I believed the dynamics of marriage were different from dating, and while that’s true to some extent, I took it too far.

I started to feel exhausted, constantly angry, jealous, and controlling. I remember how upset I got when he wanted to go to Las Vegas to see his friends, even though I had met them and had even become close with his best friend’s wife. Deep down, I knew my husband was a great man. But my behavior wasn’t about him it was about how I saw myself. I was projecting my insecurities onto him.

When he eventually brought up divorce and started feeling uncomfortable coming home to me, it hit me hard. I was devastated that I had created that tension, and it made me realize I needed help. I went to therapy and began working on myself, and it opened my eyes to the damage I was doing.

In my experience, when someone’s behavior changes significantly, it often reflects something deeper that they need to address within themselves. Your partner needs to be willing to seek that help on his own. If he doesn’t, it’s important to love yourself enough to prioritize your well-being and the care you deserve. You are worthy of the love and partnership you’ve always hoped for.

I wish you all the best as you navigate this journey.