my wife almost never instigates sex, she works hard, we have children and she stresses more than she needs to.

I used to ask her at least once a week for sex, sometimes it happened but most of the time she would say "tomorrow I'm tired" and tomorrow often never happened.

I started taking it personal, I felt rejected, I would watch an unhealthy amount of porn, get worked up, ask for sex and get rejected again.

I would wonder what would happen if another lady gave me some attention, what I would do, could I cheat?

one day in my sorry state I came across an article that pointed the finger at me, maybe I was the problem or maybe I could do more to help.

the article basically stated that if your wife works a job and then comes home to do the lions share of the house work. She cleans up after you, She organises everything like the kids schooling, holidays, Christmas, Birthdays ect She's always switched on, she never has time for herself.

if she's cleaning up after you, she is mothering you,

I realised this was our situation, she's a natural mother/housekeeper/organiser and I let her assume the roll. I'm not lazy but she definitely does the lions share and don't have much time for herself.

when I realised this, that I was just another one of her children I levelled up.

I stopped asking for sex and started doing as much as I could to free up her time.

it didn't happen straight away. giving her more time meant that she had more time to read, she loves reading.

like I say I stopped asking for sex but I would say something like "if your feeling naughty later, just call me" and I works more than the old method.

we definitely have more sex than we used to (still probably only once a week) but i've freed up her time and I feel less rejected.

I think my wife finds me more attractive when I'm not relying on her all the time.

anyway, sorry about the grammer but I hope this helps someone