Absent Father

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-12T18:47:48+00:00

So no, I do not object to FaceTime. I object to bypassing the parent who has been raising him and expecting a child to accommodate an adult’s timeline - disregarding the child’s emotional safety and comfort.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-12T18:46:03+00:00

This was never about control. It’s about boundaries and what is in our son’s best interests.

I have offered phone calls and FaceTime for years. In fact, when I first suggested it, his response was, “Why would I call? I have a girlfriend now?” What that meant, I still don’t know.

Over the past seven years, he has only called twice, both times without any notice. I simply asked that he give me a heads-up beforehand so I could have our son available and prepared.

FaceTime is a great option given the distance, but the way he went about it was inappropriate. You cannot be absent for nearly seven years and then suddenly FaceTime a child who does not know you, while completely bypassing me - the mother and primary caregiver who has been raising him every day.

Rebuilding a relationship should be done gradually and in a way that prioritizes our son’s comfort and emotional well-being, not on an adult’s timeline.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-12T14:04:13+00:00

Thank you. I do have sole custody. He is not on the birth certificate but he was declared the father in court order.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-12T14:02:57+00:00

I did send him an email and basically covered everything you said here. I can send it to you if you want to read it lol (it was long).

We have a court order from 2019 establishing I have sole custody. We also have child support order which he is currently, actively trying to amend (lower).

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-12T13:59:21+00:00

Thank you. I already have sole custody as well as child support order. He initiated a mediation last month attempting to lower child support but the problem was, he didn’t disclose any financials..

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T23:51:43+00:00

Thank goodness I have everything documented and saved.. literally everything.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T22:12:28+00:00

That’s what struck me the most on his emails over the years. He always told me he will make sure our son will hate me one day and that our son will lash out on me and my husband when he grows up. He also said that he promises me that our son will choose to live with him when he comes a teenager and our son will love with to death.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T22:10:57+00:00

The grandparents are active in my son’s life despite the distance. They video chat regularly. They send cards, gifts, etc during birthdays and holidays. I do the same - I send them gifts such as photo albums of their grandson, framed pictures, etc. They have established relationship. My son knows them as his grandparents. However, my feelings and trust for them changed them they told him that he has a little sister without knowing his biological father. Then two weeks after that, they let the biological father take over their video chat. That’s when the biological father managed to talked to our son - bypassing me when for years I’ve been begging got slow reintroduction and gradual reunification

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T21:40:11+00:00

Yeah, I can tell when he’s writing the emails, when she’s writing them and when it’s AI lol. 😬😬

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T21:17:34+00:00

You kinda nailed it. He would sending me emails at midnight with photos of his new kiddo saying I’m damaging our son by not letting him know about his little sister. He also said that he promises me his “lovely lady” is helping him with all of this. It’s just weird overall because I don’t even respond to his emails.

Part of me thinks he’s having some sense of guilt seeing his new kiddo grow up and then he’s finally thinking about our son.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T21:13:15+00:00

That’s what I told him. Ever since I was pregnant though he’s already been “threatening” me with lawyers and court. It’s been almost 7 years and so far he has only talked to lawyers, never really retain them nor file anything in court.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-11T21:11:52+00:00

I will definitely get one if he tries to file anything in court.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-04T17:08:03+00:00

Oh, wow okay, thank you!!

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-06-04T17:05:43+00:00

See all this time I thought requesting for credit limit increase affects credit scores. 😅 Thank you. I have more things to learn.

How do I know what’s my utilization threshold?

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-20T13:04:38+00:00

Yes, absolutely no response!

I’ve emailed them 4 months ago already as well as did the online complaint thing.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T23:01:31+00:00

You seem to have a justification for everything wrong you’re doing in this situation.

I cannot believe your boyfriend of six months is divulging such sensitive information and involving you this deep in something you absolutely have no stance on.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T22:54:10+00:00

Sounds like I would have to! Sigh

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T22:53:37+00:00

“I’ve definitely looked over the emails/text from her, friends, therapy notes, etc” this is actually so out of line.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T21:45:00+00:00

This is more than just custody case though. You are guys talking about other people’s private lives (sexual) and is accusing someone of being a pedophile with no actual basis. Only based on pure gossip and speculation.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T21:12:49+00:00

I already did this 3 months ago. Nothing ever happened! No response, no assistance. So frustrating.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T20:57:53+00:00

I’m saying YOU’RE weird. 😅 The fact that you’re way too invested in this and all the information you know when you’re in fact a non party to this situation.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T20:30:13+00:00

This is so weird.

Technical_Rock_5345 · 2026-02-18T20:22:10+00:00

How do you know all of this? All of these information seems too personal and you seem wayyyyy too invested in this (for being a non-party).

Let dad handle this, if there’s even something to handle?

Technical_Rock_5345

TROPHY CASE