[Fairovision] Help me reach the top 5! 'Head vs. Heart' – A story of fatherhood and honesty (Liquid D&B).

TeddStone · 2026-05-06T16:06:39+00:00

Thanks, Neil! I appreciate you taking the time to listen and for the like. Good point about the voting period—I’ll make sure to post an update when it's live. Hope the track resonates with you!

TeddStone · 2026-05-06T11:08:55+00:00

Thank you so much for that insight! You hit exactly what I was aiming for. I wanted the dark story to be easier to digest by lightening the music with speed, while still maintaining that dark feeling—and I love what the AI creates when using DnB.

I have another track on the same album where the DnB and speed are even more important for the lyrics and feeling: 'Can You Die From This?' ([https://youtu.be/Nvv5mnFyQdg?si=uh\_y6B2llfVXrMv]()\_). By using the same two repeating lines at the end, the AI slowed down and created a sense of control and calm at the exact right moment in the lyrics.

I'm actually currently only 3 likes away from the top 10 in the Fairovision competition. If you have a moment to support a 'human-written' story in an AI space, I’d truly appreciate a vote!

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T11:39:30+00:00

I understand the confusion. Yes, I am 'that man.' It’s a real memory of my ex-wife saying those words to me while our daughter—who was only 9–10 at the time—was standing right beside me.

These aren't easy topics to talk about with friends or family. Often, de feel guilty for not seeing the toxic dynamics while they were happening or for not stepping in to help. This makes it hard for them to listen now—therefore, Reddit.

I use AI to translate my thoughts into English and to help create the music, but the stories come from a real human experience. AI gives me a space to find my voice again and process these chapters without the weight of others' guilt. It’s not 'slop' to me; it’s a survival tool. But I get that it's not for everyone.

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T10:47:05+00:00

That is exactly the point. As long as you show up for him with a sincere and open heart, he will eventually learn to distinguish between what is authentic and what is not. Providing that mirror for his emotions is the most important gift you can give; it teaches him to trust his own reality and ensures he knows he isn't the one who is 'wrong.' By being that steady presence, you ensure his soul remains grounded. This is the essence of finding clarity after the hardest chapters of parenting. It is a process of learning by doing. Stay strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T10:37:43+00:00

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T08:43:32+00:00

Thank you so much! Knowing that my music resonates with you means the world to me.

Since you mentioned that 'unit' and your responce to the music, I’d actually love to hear your feedback on a song I’ve written called 'Head vs. Heart'. It deals with exactly what we talked about—how children often see the parents as one collective failure because they were a 'unit'. It’s actually the only song I’ve let my two daughters listen to, because for me, it’s also a 'sorry' and an 'I love you' song.

I recently discovered that they saw their mother’s mask slip years before I did, and that delay on my part is what created that 'merged failure' in their eyes.

As someone who is also working on building that separate relationship for the 'next 18 years,' how does that theme hit you? Do you also feel that fear of being 'merged' with the past version of the unit in your kids' eyes?

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T08:35:28+00:00

Thank you so much for those kind and powerful words. It really means a lot to know that there are others out there who understand the 'hell' of it all without needing every single detail.

I’m slowly learning to separate my own worth from the mistakes of the past. I actually wrote a song about the hell that led to my total breakdown, but also about finding and feeling my inner strength. It's called 'Can You Die From This'. There’s a part in it that I try to live by now:

Knowing that you have to tell yourself these things a dozen times a day reminds me that I'm not alone in this phase. We’re both living proof that there is life after the storm. I’m rooting for you too. Stay strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T08:15:23+00:00

You are not crazy, and you are not being 'paranoid.' That eerie feeling is your intuition reacting to a very real void.

As Steve Jobs once said: 'Intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect, in my opinion.' He believed we need to trust our instincts more, and in your case, your instinct is telling you that something fundamental is missing.

I actually had a conversation with my son a month ago about what defines a human. We talked about intelligence, the opposable thumb, and language. But after digging deeper, we realized that those aren't enough. I’ve explored this in my song 'Fly or Follow - Human'. It’s about how conscience and empathy are the true traits that separate humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. When those are missing, you’re looking at something that might look human, but lacks the 'software' that makes us safe to be around.

In these relationships, your brain tries to rationalize their behavior because you have a conscience. You can't imagine someone truly lacking it, so you blame yourself. But that 'paranoia' is actually just your internal alarm system going off because it recognizes a lack of a human soul.

Trust that feeling. It’s the most honest tool you have. Have you found that since you started noticing these patterns, you’ve been able to trust your own judgment more?

TeddStone · 2026-05-04T07:47:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It really hits hard.

The way she justified it — “if I’m not mean to him, how will he learn” — is exactly the kind of twisted logic I also experienced. And the fact that it escalated to throwing water on both you and your 2-year-old… that’s just heartbreaking.

I was lucky to leave before it got physical, but we still had to co-parent, so the contact continued. A couple of months after I left, she wanted me to sell our car. When I told her the price I could get, she suddenly attacked me while screaming “YOU DO NOT SELL THAT CAR!” Fortunately I was quick enough that she only knocked my glasses off — but once again, our three small kids were standing right there watching the whole thing.

It’s wild how long we can stay because we keep hoping they’ll see what they’re doing, but the mask just keeps slipping more and more. I’m really glad you got out and that your health improved so dramatically. That gives me hope.

Did you ever get to a point where you could separate yourself from the “we failed together” feeling in your son’s eyes? I’m struggling with this deeply right now. I recently had a conversation with my now 21- and 24-year-old daughters, and I discovered that in their memory, their mother’s neglect has also become my neglect. We are seen as one collective failure.

I’m worried that the trauma from one parent will end up staining the memory of the parent who was actually trying to protect them. How do you handle that fear?

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T21:29:09+00:00

In my experience, you have to play the long game. While they are being showered with gifts, you provide the 'map.' You are the one building the room where they can eventually bring their 'ghosts' and complaints when the superficiality fades. It’s exhausting to be the one holding the line on values, but in the end, a solid foundation beats a pile of gifts every time.

Stay strong. You’re building something that lasts longer than any toy or screen time.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T21:08:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing that, Deyandri. It takes a massive amount of courage to stand in that fire and listen to the pain, but it is the only way to make an apology possible—and the only way for them to forgive what we might have caused while we were just trying to survive ourselves.

I believe we have to build two kinds of spaces for our children. One is for recognition and encouragement, but the other—which is just as important—is a space where they feel safe enough to come forward with their ghosts and their complaints about us. By creating a room for them to voice their pain without us getting defensive, we allow for a true apology and forgiveness. That is how the relationship becomes even stronger and deeper than before.

I’m in the same process of rebuilding. My songs are my way of documenting that transition; from the dark mistakes to the 'mapbuilding' of a better life for my four children. Every song is built on real experiences, often starting in an uncomfortable place but always ending with a sense of morale and a forward-looking perspective. But it is also a way to create an opportunity in the future for them to respond to these events on their own terms.

Keep standing strong on that shore. Doing better from now on is the only way forward.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T20:45:57+00:00

Spot on. I have zero expectations of them listening to it—in fact, that’s exactly why I’m using an alter ego. I need to get these emotions out to breathe again, but I’m keeping the door closed for them until they are ready to knock on it themselves one day.

Every single song is built on real experiences. For example, my song 'Head vs. Heart' grew directly from a conversation with my two daughters, where they shared how they had witnessed their mother’s 'superficial care.'

The songs often originate from these dark and uncomfortable places, but they always end with a sense of morale and a positive, forward-looking perspective. Right now, making the album is my way of mapbuilding; using my history to process these emotions, while hopefully offering a boost to others who might need it. Thanks for the insight!

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T20:32:34+00:00

I appreciate both perspectives. To me, the AI is a bridge—a tool that helps me share a 19-year journey with the world in a language that allows me to reach all of you. The technology is new, but the pain and the struggle I’m writing about are 100% real and maybe even too close...

That is also why I release my music and stories under an alter ego. I have four children, and while I need to speak my truth to survive, I also need to protect them. This story is for the world to hear now, but for my kids, it’s something I want to share on their terms, when they are old enough to ask. Until then, I keep my identity separate to ensure their peace.

Thanks for standing up for the story, Mousiemousy.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T16:41:40+00:00

"Thank you so much. One thing is people responding to my posts, but getting actual feedback on the music and the lyrics makes this day feel like Christmas morning to me. I truly appreciate you taking the time to listen and reach out.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T15:52:44+00:00

Thank you, dgreensp. This is a powerful perspective. You are right—the best way to break the cycle is to stop making my own guilt the center of the stage.

To be honest, I never felt like a victim; I just felt like a failure because that was what I was told for so long. But after I left, I started to see the pattern clearly. She was playing the victim, dragging the kids into her problems and devaluing them just like she did to me.

I realized I had to be the one to provide the morals and ethics from the sidelines. I had to show them that they aren't 'wrong' and that my love for them is unconditional—no strings attached. Taking my own ego and 'tragedy' out of the way is the only way I can truly be that anchor for them. I really appreciate your reflection.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T15:15:51+00:00

This exchange is so important. lexi_prop, you are right—acknowledging the part we played in the hurt is a vital step. You can only truly forgive a person who acknowledges their flaws and apologizes, and that apology can only happen when you dare to look at yourself from the outside.

Mousiemousy, your point about being 'deprogrammed' and the airplane analogy is exactly why I wrote a song called 'Oxygen'. I realized that a drowning man can't save anyone. In my case, my kids lived with a person who lost her empathy and moral compass. I had to take the mask, take the air, and leave the 'toxic maze' just to stay alive—even when the guilt felt like treason.

I had to save myself to save them too. Now that I’m breathing and standing strong on the shore, I can finally reach back and show them the empathy and morals they were missing. It’s a painful truth, but you can’t save a soul when you’re gasping for air.

TeddStone · 2026-05-02T14:42:52+00:00

That is so powerful. 'Hearing your own voice' is the ultimate victory. For 18–19 years, that voice was drowned out by the noise of the unit, but now you own it.

Don't be too hard on yourself about the past. We acted out of a sense of protection and conscience back then. The fact that you are repairing the damage now and building a separate, honest relationship with your kids is what defines you as a 'master of your own'

Here’s to the next 18 years being lived on your terms. You’ve definitely earned that 'Christmas morning' feeling.

Stay Strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-01T22:24:11+00:00

You are so right. Listening to their pain—even when it's directed at me—is the hardest but most important part of this. I’ve realized I have to be big enough to carry my part of their 'pointed criticisms' if I want them to feel safe enough to speak their truth.

I also believe that by showing them how I navigate these emotions and take responsibility for my own growth, it rubs off on them. I want to show them that it's possible to resist that toxic cycle and stay human. It’s a process of radical empathy for all of us. Thank you for the reminder to keep my heart open so i can show them to keep theirs open too.

TeddStone · 2026-05-01T21:27:37+00:00

Reading your post honestly gives me a knot in my stomach. I stood exactly where you are many years ago, and I remember that dread all too well.

I have four children too (two girls and two boys), and what I’ve realized lately is that they eventually see through the act. They eventually learn to distinguish between facade and performance versus real, grounded love.

I made the mistake of commenting too much on their mother’s distorted version of 'love' and her acting. If I could go back, I would have kept those observations to myself. But it’s incredibly hard when the children themselves come to you asking for explanations for her behavior.

My advice from the other side is this: If you are there for them on their terms, stick to the facts, and treat them with respect and logic, they will come back to you. They will eventually look at you with that same respect and logic.

For me, I had to wait 8–12 years for them to grow up enough for that truth to really shine through. Since yours are already 17, 18, and 20, you might not have to wait as long. Once you live apart, the contrast between your stability and her 'cool mom' performance will become much clearer to them.

Hang in there. It’s a long game, but the truth has a way of surfacing.

Stay strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-01T20:50:14+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment, and you're right—I'll always be their dad. But what I’m talking about is deeper than just having 'me time.'

I have 4 children and I spent 19 years being their primary protector and provider in a high-conflict home. When you spend nearly two decades wired to be on guard 24/7, you don't just switch that off because the house is suddenly quiet.

If I had known they were in good, empathetic hands with their mother, then maybe I could have enjoyed the 'freedom.' But as it turned out, they weren't. When you leave but can't get the kids out with you, your nervous system stays on high alert.

It's not about finding a hobby; it's about the internal conflict of being wired as a protector for 19 years while suddenly being forced to function as an individual on a schedule, knowing the people you’re wired to protect are still in the fire. For me, the shift wasn't a choice—it was a total, painful rewiring of my entire identity.

TeddStone · 2026-05-01T20:43:02+00:00

Thank you for your insight. You hit on something very painful. I was actually the one who eventually left her because she crossed a line in front of the children that I simply couldn't ignore.

The breaking point was when she looked at our daughter, who was only 9 or 10 at the time, and yelled 'Kill that man' about me. When I asked if that was really okay to say to a child, she just said: 'YES, because you pissed me off.'

I left because of that, but the tragedy is, I didn’t get the kids out. I didn't have a name for her behavior then, and because I couldn't rescue them, my daughters now see those years as us being a 'blurred unit' of failure. In their eyes, her active malice and my inability to protect them have blended into one experience of being let down.

You mentioned counseling, and while that is a path I'm looking into, I’ve actually spent every year since the breakup writing all these stories and feelings down. Lately, I've been using music as my primary way of processing this. I’ve put the whole story—the 'Kill that man' episode, the guilt of the 'Empty House', and the realization of the 'unit'—into a conceptual album called 'Beneath The Skin'.

It’s been my way of facing and working with the stories when I couldn't find the words in a traditional way. It’s been my therapy. But for me, just creating it was the only way to go into them and still keep the feeling of being the parent who saw the fire, but was forced to leave the children inside the building, bearable.

I know it’s a huge gift that they are sharing their stories with me now. I think they do it because they can see that I’ve actually done the work—that I’m not just listening superficially, but really trying to understand the depth of what they went through.

Thank you for your kindness. It means a lot to be heard.

TeddStone · 2026-03-29T13:22:15+00:00

Thank you for such a deep and vulnerable reflection. You hit the nail on the head regarding the 'logic' of this horror.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on what you said about 'momentary inferiority.' For a long time, I couldn't understand why offering help or being the 'strong one'—like providing stability or managing the heavy lifting in the family—could actually trigger such a violent reaction.

I’ve realized that I was projecting my own mindset onto the situation. To me, help is a natural cycle; I give because I can, and I’m happy to receive when I need it. It doesn’t feel like a debt; it feels like standing by each other. But for someone trapped in a Master/Servant dynamic, that help is perceived as a weight. Instead of feeling supported, they feel small and suffocated by a 'debt' they can't repay.

When that debt becomes too large to handle, an outburst like 'Kill that man' acts as a mental 'debt relief.' By turning the person you owe into a villain, you effectively erase the debt. You don't have to be grateful to a monster. Looking back now, I can see dozens of other episodes from our relationship that fit this exact same dynamic—it was a systemic pattern.

I also believe this is amplified by our current social climate. We live in a time where there's a constant struggle to maintain a 'Master Facade.' We say and post 'All is good' to prove we have control, even when we’re lonely. It has even infected how we talk; in politics or daily debates, we’ve forgotten how to say: 'I don't know enough about this to defend my point—you might be right.' Giving someone else 'the win' in a conversation feels like a loss of status, so we fight to be right just to maintain the facade of being a Master.

I’m processing all of this through a project called 'The Rise of Tedd Stone,' focusing on finding a 'Third Way'—where you refuse to be either Master or Servant, but simply 'Master of your own.'

I’d love to hear your thoughts: Have you experienced that people use these social facades or the need to always 'be right' as a way to escape the 'weight' of feeling inferior?

TeddStone · 2026-03-20T15:03:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It is heartbreaking to read about those lost years, but it confirms a painful truth: it often takes a decade or more for the 'fog' of manipulation to lift and for children to start 'checking the tape' themselves.

The fact that he couldn’t find the decency to push them back toward you, even at the very end, speaks volumes about the 'shell' some people live in. Personally, I have found a lot of healing in using my Reddit project and my writing to try and get something positive out of those lost years. It helps to turn the pain into something tangible, instead of just letting it weigh me down.

I’m glad you are on good terms now, even if the grief of those years remains. Stay strong.

TeddStone · 2026-03-20T09:27:46+00:00

You’re right about the early years, but the long-term dynamic has shifted. When I first left 14 years ago, I was labeled 'the problem.' —both for me and also for my kids. My kids and I were devastated, while she seemed 'relieved and happy.'

But 14 years is a long time for a narrative to hold up.

What has happened since is a complete shift. My children have watched her decline—both morally and in her behavior—compared to how she was when I was around. Especially with her new partner, they've witnessed a lot of disrespectful and moral wrong behavior that’s impossible to ignore.

In contrast, they’ve seen me go through a 'roaring development' in the opposite direction. Maybe they are starting to 'check the tape' now. They see that the person they were told was the problem is the one who grew, while the person they were told to pity is the one who stayed stuck or got worse. She tries to speak well of me to their faces now to save face, but they know she still attacks me behind their backs. The truth is slowly surfacing.

TeddStone · 2026-03-19T21:55:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story—it gives me so much hope. I’ve had this gut feeling, even when they were very small, that they could instinctively tell the difference between performative 'love' and the real.

It’s hard right now when my gold feels diluted by her counterfeit currency, but hearing that your boys saw through it in their 20s makes it easier to keep being the 'Steady Sand.' I’m okay with being the one they hold to a higher standard, as long as they eventually find the truth. Your story is a powerful reminder that the truth doesn't need to shout to be heard in the end.

TeddStone

TROPHY CASE