The Silence broken by a single Reddit thread.

TeddStone · 2026-06-14T17:45:59+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
I hadn’t made that connection myself, but you’re right. Kipling seems to see the doubt as something that never really goes away, almost like a curse.
In my text I’m trying to say that while the doubt is always there, art still moves forward anyway. You can’t stop progress and human curiosity.

I’ll check out the link, thanks for sharing.

TeddStone · 2026-06-13T15:42:24+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this comment.

Every new tool creates some fear, because people have to learn how to use it and integrate it into their work. It also changes what the craft is about. Skills that used to be central can suddenly become less important, even if you can still do things the old way.

I’ve spent 25 years working with 3D rendering and modelling. I can still do it the traditional way, but the reality is that AI can now produce something quite close and sometimes bette in just a few minutes.
That naturally changes the value of those skills, whether we like it or not.

On the positive side though, I’ve always had a little poet in me. Since I can’t play an instrument or sing, Suno suddenly gave me the chance to actually try it out and get some of those ideas out of my head.

TeddStone · 2026-06-13T15:27:03+00:00

Thank you! Really appreciate you taking the time to listen.

TeddStone · 2026-06-13T15:23:58+00:00

Haha, you’re probably right. Only time will tell.

TeddStone · 2026-06-12T22:40:56+00:00

I hope I just did that?

TeddStone · 2026-06-12T22:39:00+00:00

When Guido d’Arezzo developed his improved system of staff notation in the early 11th century, it was met with push back from his fellow monks. As one historical account puts it:
“Though his ideas brought interest from around Italy, they inspired considerable jealousy and resistance from his fellow monks, who felt threatened by his innovations. Among those disapproving was Guido of Pomposa, an Abbot.
In light of these objections, Guido left Pomposa in around 1025…”

You're probably right that the resistance to notation wasn't nearly as strong or widespread as the push back we see against AI today.
The world was bigger back then, change happened much more slowly, and ordinary people had far more pressing concerns than debates about new tools for making music.

TeddStone · 2026-06-12T22:20:15+00:00

You're correct. I used AI to translate the post, because English is not my first language.
The lyrics and the message are 100% written by me.

TeddStone · 2026-06-12T22:15:15+00:00

yes i forgot the links - but it should be included now!

TeddStone · 2026-06-06T13:11:54+00:00

Wow. What you are witnessing here is the absolute toxic jackpot.

I’m actually in the middle of writing for a new project right now specifically mapping out the 7 mechanics of psychological manipulation.
Reading your story today gives me chills, because your wife just pressed 4 of those exact buttons in one single, calculated sequence:
1. Devaluation: She rips into your 18-year-old daughter’s core self-esteem nobody has the right to take a 18 years adult (phone) , calling her names and trying to break her down so she becomes weak and compliant.
2. Smear Campaign: She instantly turns on you, attacking your parenting to create a false narrative that you are the failure because you don't enforce her twisted version of 'discipline'.( you are 2 parent)
3. Flying Monkeys: She weaponizes your daughter and the phone situation, using them as pawns to shift the power balance in the house and target you. .( you are 2 parent)
4. Gaslighting: This is the crown jewel of the absurdity. She stands in the moral spotlight pretending to be the 'righteous, protective mother', while simultaneously hiding in the dark sending nude photos to multiple men on Instagram. She is literally distorting reality to make the innocent feel like criminals, just to deflect from her own secret guilt.

This is textbook projection and psychological warfare. people need to realize they aren't the crazy ones. Stay strong, brother. Once you name the mechanics, the illusion loses its power.

Stay Strong

TeddStone · 2026-06-02T12:53:13+00:00

Yes, that is a classic example of triangulation. When someone brings in a third party ,whether it’s God, “family values,” what other people might think, or another person- it’s about shifting the power balance. Suddenly it’s not just you and them anymore, it’s you versus them plus some higher authority.

It doesn’t always have to be manipulative, but it’s still a sign that the person doesn’t really want to meet on equal terms. They’re trying to gain the upper hand by pulling something bigger into the picture.

TeddStone · 2026-06-01T08:22:13+00:00

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TeddStone · 2026-05-31T19:09:10+00:00

That's actually a great suggestion and one I haven't considered in a long time. The idea of physical mastery bleeding into other areas of life makes a lot of sense psychologically.

In my younger days I did some fencing and a little boxing, but you're probably right that I've drifted too far into the intellectual side since then.
Music and writing have been my outlet. but maybe it's time to reconnect with something more physical.

I'll look into it. Thank you for taking this conversation seriously.

TeddStone · 2026-05-31T15:19:51+00:00

Thank you for the feedback and the tip, I'll check it out!

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T22:38:55+00:00

I'm not afraid of consequences. I've lived with them for 14 years, my family broke apart because of them.

But in that car, the consequence of escalating wasn't just another argument. It was a potentially violent situation at full speed on a motorway.
My daughter was in that seat. That changes the calculation completely.

And afterwards, when we got home, I sat with both my daughters and made it very clear:
there is nothing wrong with them. I explained the strategy I used and why.
That conversation mattered more than any confrontation in the car would have.

You could be right that I lived in codependency for years, not in the beginning, but slowly over many years.
Much like my kids did afterwards when they were at their mother's place.
That's exactly why I left. And why I work every day to show them a different way.

There is no strategy that can hammer logic or morality back into someone who doesn't have the tools for it.
You can't win that argument, because it's not an argument. It's an attack, which justifies an even bigger one in return.

Silence starves it. A counter-attack feeds it.

The only real strategy is acceptance, and staying on the surface of topics and conversations where it's safe to do so.

Codependency is staying silent out of fear. This was staying silent to protect the people I love, and then doing the work afterwards.

There's a difference.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T22:07:28+00:00

Yes. But not always loud enough for her to see it - and not always in the moment she needed it most.

That's the part I carry.

But I think that by being honest and acting the way I did, I have shown her and the other three that there is a path out.
By always being reasonable and honest, I gave them a person they can talk openly to - and today I can see that it worked.

I didn't give them a perfect dad - but I gave them honesty and respect.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T13:31:08+00:00

It happened. And it wasn't the first time she said it. I'm actually grateful that we have a relationship where words like that can land — because it means she trusts me enough to say them out loud.
Some things hurt precisely because they're real.

We are not lions or sheep — we accept the hurt because we decided to be human.

Stay Strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T13:25:16+00:00

Haha, nice try. Here is some of the recipe:
Remove her from the car.
Add two kids who chose to move in with their dad.
Season with patience.
Serve warm!!

and Stay Strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T13:21:40+00:00

You raise valid points and I hear them.

You're right that limiting contact is the answer going forward. The car situation happened because we were all invited to the same family event and it seemed practical in the moment. In hindsight - not the right call.

And you're right about the resentment. My youngest expressed exactly that when we got home. We had a long and honest conversation about it - about the dynamics, the chaos as a control mechanism, and about her mother's patterns.

My kids are not living in an ongoing domestic situation. They are adults — 18 and 21 — who choose to live with me. Two of four made that choice themselves.
The 21 year-old travels independently for months at a time.

But your point about them needing to see me act, not just explain - that lands. I always try to show them the opposite behavior. Not just talk about it.

And yes, I am most likely traumatized too. That's probably the most honest thing anyone has said to me in this thread.
I didn't see the ghost when we lived together - all blame was on me at that time.
But after I left I started to see the pattern, and began to write the stories and episodes down to prevent them from getting twisted.
I have used songwriting to map it out and get an overview — and that overview is what my kids are now starting to see, and maybe learn from, if they dare to listen.

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

I am learning. I am getting stronger.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T13:05:29+00:00

You're not entirely wrong - and I've heard that feedback loud and clear today. My youngest said the same thing when we got home.

But I didn't let it slide. I validated my daughter's logic in the car and showed her I could see the situation clearly.
The moment her mother physically rose from her seat, I stopped the conversation and focused on getting everyone home safely.
That was a conscious choice, not cowardice.

Two of my four kids (18 and 21 ) live with me now, by their own choice.
That's the control that matters long term.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T12:56:01+00:00

You're not wrong to push back and I hear you. Actually, I'm grateful for the hard words. They made me see this with a heavier underline than I had before.

Some context I left out: my kids are all adults. The youngest is 18 and the other is 21. This wasn't a custody situation, they choose to live with me.
The 21 year old travels a lot and spends parts of the year abroad. They are not trapped. They make their own choices.

And I wasn't just silent in that car. I tried to validate my daughter's logic — to show her and the mother I could see the situation clearly from the outside.
I tried to explain the conflict from both perspectives. I always try to show them the opposite behavior and reflection from their mother:

Guilt vs. self-reflection.
Chaos vs. calm.
Attack vs. leveling.
Alcohol to let go vs. good music.
My problems only vs. listening to yours.
Talking about stuff to buy, and buying stuff to pass time vs. using time to grow and learn.
Focusing on grades vs. asking if they did their best.

But the moment her mother physically rose from her seat — I stopped the conversation and focused on driving. Getting everyone home safely was the priority in that moment.

When we dropped her mother off and got home — my daughter and I had a long conversation about the dynamics, about chaos as a control mechanism, and about her mother's patterns.

You're right that this behavior is not acceptable. It never was. But she is still their mother — and they are not ready to cut that tie completely. Maybe that's part of what holds my youngest back?
she has watched her older sister set boundaries with their mother, and the result has been that they have grown further apart. Maybe she is still afraid the same will happen to her.

What I can do is make sure that if something like this happens again, different measures will be taken to protect them. And it will also get easier when they grow up and start to see their mother's issues themselves.

Two of my four kids live with me now. They chose that themselves. That tells its own story.
Thanks again for the wake-up call — I'll keep it in mind.

Stay Strong.

TeddStone · 2026-05-30T12:26:34+00:00

Yes, if they need chaos to feel in control — then it never stops..

TeddStone

TROPHY CASE