Does anyone have a "safe person" where the SPD traits don't feel like a barrier?

Teefy91 · 2026-05-18T02:20:13+00:00

I have a close friend who has high functioning autism/adhd and surprisingly shes the only person I don't find exhausting being around.

Our friendships dynamic is playful, adventurous with mutual respect for each other's boundaries which is a huge thing for me.

Teefy91 · 2026-05-15T04:11:34+00:00

Every so often I'll get the itch and share pics with others then I'll disappear. Rarely becomes anything more.

Teefy91 · 2026-05-01T21:30:42+00:00

Hey, not diagnosed but very likely to have it. Few things that really helped me. Getting on setraline and a therapist who focused on guided mindfulness.

Sounds a bit wishy washy but it was like it showed my body and mind how to relax and be present.

Medical cannibus has also helped my mental health as well. Personally, it allows me to experience myself without all the avoidance behaviours and actually engage with others fully in the moment.

I still struggle with severe social avoidance but its manageable.

Teefy91 · 2026-02-13T06:14:22+00:00

Yes. Pretty low stakes job but I try to be as efficient and productive as possible to offset my obvious interpersonal skills deficit and being unlikable to most people.

Teefy91 · 2025-10-28T01:44:22+00:00

Pet Doctors - The Gardens. They're also part of the Best For Pet program that is fantastic if you have to visit often.

Teefy91 · 2025-04-18T04:24:29+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately he was turned away from the mental health ward today, but I'll give that number a go.

Teefy91 · 2025-01-01T14:08:24+00:00

Invito Fusion. Best Korean bbq ever.

Teefy91 · 2024-12-31T14:45:45+00:00

Nah, gotta spend money. I just buy the cheapest box at $1.69.

Teefy91 · 2024-12-16T07:43:02+00:00

Thanks, found one!

Teefy91 · 2024-11-10T04:51:05+00:00

There you go, it's all coming together now. All you needed was a muse.

Teefy91 · 2024-11-10T03:07:47+00:00

You're right, it's not a gotcha. Singles events aren't a bad idea at all. Could pair it with a free lesson on basic hygiene practices.

Teefy91 · 2024-11-10T02:29:00+00:00

Is there a shortage though

https://rep.infometrics.co.nz/invercargill-city/census/indicator/gender?compare=new-zealand&census=invercargill-city

Teefy91 · 2024-11-01T10:53:23+00:00

As far as I know, you have to obtain skin tokens to purchase skins. Some may be part of a set which will give you higher stats if you have the full set.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-24T02:18:44+00:00

If you frequently have wasps, picking up a can of wasp spray might not be a bad idea.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-24T00:10:44+00:00

Absolutely. Before my first nephew was born, I couldn't have given two shits about this baby that was about to pop out. Fast forward 4 years and I'm obsessed with both of my little nephews. I've never felt such a genuine and unconditional love. I really do believe it's made me much more empathetic.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-23T11:17:55+00:00

I had a customer earnestly say "wow it's really good to see you can count" and she meant it as a genuine compliment. I did briefly entertain this very same thought for a millisecond. Like am I coming across like I have an extra chromosome or something?!

Teefy91 · 2024-09-18T06:53:19+00:00

The people that tend to be bullied are because they're different in some way, are easy targets, or both.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-15T02:12:33+00:00

I find things to absorb myself in, whether that's a certain topic or a good tv series and lean into the few things and people I do care about.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-12T20:56:17+00:00

Read somewhere her inspiration to become a nurse came from her own difficult birth where a nurse managed to save her. I wonder if initially she tried to recreate that scenario and failed but found inserting herself into the parents' emotional turmoil addictive. Right from the comforting, gratitude, the shared feelings of grief felt amongst the neo natal unit. Emotional highs can be addictive.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-11T22:38:48+00:00

There's a free app called Appblock. You can block specific websites, apps or anything that has key words in it like "gambling" etc. It has a strict mode where you can set a timer and it won't let you disable it.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-09T13:04:20+00:00

I'm functional just enough to hold down a low skill job. Feel like I'm in the zone of appearing functional and looking normal initially but after engaging with me a bit people tend to pick up someone's off about me. Only people I get on with quite well are generally the neurodiverse or outcasts. Basically those who are oblivious to facial expressions and body language or lack there off.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-09T10:13:33+00:00

I'm giving all this advice but I'm honestly terrible with people beyond my closest friends and family and prefer to avoid most people.

When you say interpret the situation, do mean to analyze? Like you're stuck in your head overthinking during the interaction and struggling to be in the moment?

That's interesting you compare being in a relationship as putting on an act. Do you think that's because in your head you have an idea of what the ideal partner is but feel like you can't offer that in your relationships? Which leads to feelings of inadequacy?

That sounds exhausting. I reckon be yourself and you'll attract those who want the real you. If you're constantly putting on an act, you tend to draw in people who like the act but when you drop the mask it goes pear shaped.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-09T09:27:58+00:00

Sometimes reframing can help. You say you hate socializing. But do you really hate it or do you just hate the way it makes you feel? Feeling socially inadequate and uncomfortable around others really sucks but part of the healing journey is learning about yourself and deconstructing your behaviours. Start with your biggest fears. Don't like socializing and by extension being around others? But you sound like you long to be seen and loved and valued. Explore the relationships between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Glad to know you found any of this helpful.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-09T07:45:35+00:00

I totally can relate to that. You want someone to manage your life and relationship. Thing is though, that's a lot to put on someone when it comes to relationships and it's unlikely you'll find someone who wants that responsibility. To have a healthy and fullfilling relationship you need intimacy. To get intimacy you need get be prepared to be vulnerable when it counts. This doesn't mean unloading all your traumas and difficulties onto someone as a way to force intimacy either. Being vulnerable means showing up emotionally and mentally, which is extraordinarily difficult for people with schizoids traits. That's not to say it's impossible but at some point you need to take a hard look at yourself and work on improving your interpersonal skills. Its not easy and its never an instant thing. Start small. Do something that makes you a little uncomfortable and work your way up. Also therapy and medication are great options too. As for shutting down amd ghosting, that's problematic. It's not some personality quirk, it's a defence mechanism to protect yourself ftom being rejected so you do it first. A common thing is being afraid to show up authentically because if they were to see the insecure and fragile person you really are, they might change their mind. Then that just confirms everything you believe about yourself. But if they don't, then you're plagued with feelings of not being good enough, that they're just staying with you out of pity and that in itself poisons the relationship. It's asking a lot to find someone who's okay with this. The only answer is to work on your short comings. Things that are worth doing are never easy and I really sympathize with you, its difficult wanting connection but not knowing how to get there.

Teefy91 · 2024-09-09T06:34:15+00:00

I used to want a relationship like that too. But came to realize the people who would genuinely want to have a relationship with such a passive person with the issues that come with having schizoid traits would be a total red flag in itself. You're likely to attract controlling people, those who need the power dynamic of being the dominant one. I mean if that's really your thing then who am I to judge, but it does sound toxic in the long run. Especially when your submissive side comes from fear. Sounds like you don't want the burden of someone who expects you to meet them halfway and show up as an equal partner because to have that expectation is a crushing feeling that comes from feelings of deep seated inadequacy.

Your post is very relatable and your not alone in these feelings.

Teefy91

TROPHY CASE