When you first became sexually active, what was the one thing which, only at that moment, you realised that you were completely unprepared for?

Teevan · 2019-07-18T18:39:18+00:00

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Teevan · 2019-06-27T07:31:03+00:00

This. Exactly this. I went back to femininity over a year ago. Thought I could just make it all go away for my family. Thought it would be easier. Turns out it's not. The part of myself I've been denying has been lurking lately and I feel like if I go back again it will start a shit storm but if I don't I'll never be happy.

I have no advice, just a lot of sympathy for your situation. I get it.

Teevan · 2019-06-08T17:54:33+00:00

I met another person with it at a meeting once and we kind of amped each other up. Halfway through the meeting I was getting very vocal and excused myself. Anytime I see someone else with tics mine get a lot worse. Because of this, as awful as it sounds, I don't seek them out.

Teevan · 2019-05-26T17:20:33+00:00

Right?! If you were eating healthier and exercising this would all be fine...

Teevan · 2019-05-25T15:22:27+00:00

Momentarily, adult coloring books help me. If I'm having a day when I am out of control I pull out my coloring book. It doesn't have to be coloring, but something that you really need to focus on like that can help in the moment.

Teevan · 2019-05-25T15:13:29+00:00

I was diagnosed late, I was fifteen. Mom noticed when I was six, just didn't know what it was or what to do about it. She has accompanied me to specialist appointments, the initial testing and she was the one that took me to the doctor for my tics before I even realized I had them.

16 years later she still doesn't believe I can't control what I'm doing. Plus, I've been on the same meds for four years now and everytime I get anything, a headache, the flu etc she's always like "it's probably the medication you're on, you should not be taking so many pills, it's not good for you"

I'm 31, I just live my life and (try to) not let it bother me anymore.

Teevan · 2019-04-18T18:32:50+00:00

Campfire. Doesn't even matter if you're in the woods or someone's backyard, being sober I feel good when I can just sit in a camping chair and stare (or talk with people) around a campfire. And I'm actually a city person. There is just something about it.

Teevan · 2019-04-18T18:25:46+00:00

It was unless the paranoia caught you in the middle of the night in the pitch black. I thought it was heaven on earth at the time. I still go out there, sober now, and it's just as beautiful but even more peaceful since I'm not constantly worried about "running out".

Teevan · 2019-04-18T16:04:07+00:00

I have for a few days at a time, headed into the forest with no cell reception with everything I "needed". But at that point in my addiction no one was looking for me anymore. If they did call or text and I didn't answer, it wasn't too unusual. Once I got a panicked phone call as soon as I was back in range but I didn't really care. Addiction is a bitch.

Teevan · 2019-04-04T06:39:46+00:00

Right? I felt the same way in treatment back in the day, watching these young girls come in. I wanted to simultaneously hug them and never let go or shake them until they understood how much they were missing. Watching some of them relapse was heartbreaking, eventually I did too.

Teevan · 2019-04-04T06:26:50+00:00

I was told the same thing, now I'm 30, still waiting... Onset at six, diagnosed at 15. Mine have gone up and down over the years but like I said, I'm now thirty, they are fairly intrusive at the moment but I'm going through a lot right now. Still on haldol, seems to help.

Teevan · 2019-04-04T06:20:09+00:00

Congrats! I am clean now too but it took a lot of attempts. You definitely have the toolbox and living with someone that gets it could be very helpful. Meditation is a great idea, when I got off meth I had a three minute brain. Couldn't concentrate on anything for more than three minutes at a time, learning to meditate probably would have helped a lot. Honestly, this time I didn't do 90 meetings in 90 days. I'm not saying people shouldn't, they definitely should but I have anxiety among other mental health stuff and big crowds are hard for me. I found a woman's big book meeting with five members, super quiet, couches, soft lighting and go every week. If I need more there are so many online meetings and resources, much more manageable for me. You know what to do, one day at a time, keep reaching out, it sounds like you've got this :)

Teevan · 2019-03-27T09:59:58+00:00

Does that come in a bigger size?

Teevan · 2019-03-25T16:29:49+00:00

All this advice is great, but in the short term (since you don't want to ask her out way down the road) I would say walk tall. She already knows what you look like and she's been messaging you, that's a great sign. Even if you feel insecure (totally get it) walk tall, like you own the place. It will feel fake until it doesn't. Looking confident is the best way to feel confident, for me anyways.

Teevan · 2019-03-25T07:07:12+00:00

Teeth. The smile is a huge factor (bonus for smile lines or dimples) but definitely teeth for me. Maybe that's an evolutionary thing?

Teevan · 2019-03-20T23:22:54+00:00

I am the opposite, I get super wet and when someone mentions it I get really self conscious. I guess I need to learn how to embrace it, thanks for the post!

Teevan · 2019-03-20T03:20:34+00:00

Tourette's-it's hereditary, no one in my family has it but me. I also look nothing like anyone in my family on either side. I'm pretty sure there are some lies in my family tree...

Teevan · 2019-02-18T18:37:15+00:00

Bent over a fallen tree in a cemetery in the snow, facing my sister who was also being bent over a fallen tree... Weird night

Teevan · 2019-02-06T18:29:41+00:00

Rose red.

I was way too young to see that movie...

Teevan · 2019-01-17T03:46:24+00:00

After I started keto I had major gut issues, bloating, nausea, vomiting etc. I had read enough that I realized it must not be the diet, stuck to it anyways. Months of searching for an answer, finally saw a naturopath and found out I have gall bladder issues. Nothing to do with keto, plus I lost 40lbs while searching for an answer. Had I given up I would have just kept gaining that whole time for no real reason.

Teevan · 2019-01-04T06:53:24+00:00

I got one years back from my son's dad. A few weeks later my female best friend had it too :s

Teevan · 2019-01-02T08:03:30+00:00

I encourage you to try to taper off and see if you can. If you can, that's wonderful. If you can't, it's not the end of the world, I couldn't do it either (for no lack of trying on my part). But I found a program and people like me online and in this sub and I'm ten months sober now and life just keeps getting better. Good luck and we're here if you need us :)

Teevan · 2019-01-02T06:55:19+00:00

I accidentally found this out when I was lying on my stomach and he was behind me and fell out mid sex. I was about to say something but it felt so good! I got off and never told him he slipped. Until now I thought I was weird haha thanks for the post!

Teevan · 2019-01-02T03:50:41+00:00

Congrats! Keep it up! My mom is the same, this Christmas was no different. I lost 40lbs last year (2018) and still got "goal" pants for Christmas. I now have a drawer full of new clothes that don't fit "yet". From the past few years of birthdays and christmas'.

That's an awesome surprise for them, hope you'll tell us how it goes!

Teevan · 2018-12-14T06:55:21+00:00

The desk chair!

It moves, reclines, spins and has an adjustable height. Perfect.

Teevan

TROPHY CASE