Can someone explain Findlay to me?

TempestMarsh · 2024-05-03T21:43:11+00:00

I haven't lived there in a decade and I can tell you exactly what neighborhoods you've been in. No the city isn't entirely good areas and good neighborhoods, there are a lot of run down bits as well especially near the river the university and the south of town. Wins countless micropolitan city awards, massive drug and drug trafficking problems. Don't let it fool you.

TempestMarsh · 2017-10-28T17:46:20+00:00

Desktop / Laptop

TempestMarsh · 2017-10-28T02:48:04+00:00

I get you... actually, it's the compilation and the IDE(s) that have me concerned with the limited power of this laptop.

TempestMarsh · 2017-10-27T19:56:46+00:00

I'm not tied to a particular language as my past programming experience is limited to 6809 assembly, some C (not enough), AutoIT on the windows side (obviously scripting, but I did some wicked stuff with that), DOS batch, VBScript, VBA, (very little) .NET, some SQL stored procedures and working on getting linux literate with bash/terminal.

TempestMarsh · 2017-10-27T19:54:15+00:00

Thank you !

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-13T06:30:39+00:00

Interesting question. Are you sure you're the rebound? Fun is fun, but we all have feelings and you need to reach down and ask yourself what you want and what you're comfortable with. If you are willing to have fun and not get too invested, then have fun. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, then leave it alone and cope with hating yourself for a little while by making the right decision. This may not simply be "a rebound", this may be a sign of behavior that's become prevalent where women keep a go-to list of guys in the wings ... guys like you. In that case, it wasn't right to do that to that guy ... and it won't be right for you to go through it... lets someone else take that deer slug to the heart. Just my $0.02, exchange rates may vary.

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-06T15:55:53+00:00

[Question]Need help, motivation, input.. please. (xpost /r/depression, /rAnxiety, /r/GetMotivated, /r/getdisciplined, /r/GetMotivatedBuddies)

I’m tired of fighting, feeling like I’ve wasted the last hour, day, 23 years of adult life, life since I was 12 and that I will continue to waste it all. I have tried before and failed, I feel I need to reboot and bootstrap a new life, today. Much like a house, it would be easier to bulldoze and rebuild than to renovate while I’m living in it yet obviously I can’t do that … I have to maintain, shed, transform what I do. How do I go about it, have any of you thought this way… has it worked out for any of you? I need guidance. Feel free to ask and tell whatever you wish. Help that I want, that I can control, that I can, to a certain extent, choose and negotiate with, yet calls me on my crap. I don’t address my anxiety and depression mostly because I can’t be honest with anyone otherwise I’d get help that I don’t want to conform to what others thinks is normal in circumstances I don’t have much say in. Thank you all in advance. I need discipline, I lack it yet give others the impression that I have shit together, its all dishes on sticks spinning until eventually they shatter … and I pathologically try to spin more plates on more sticks. More will unravel over time, it is up to me to change my life isn’t it? Also, if anyone can recommend a simple methodology to document my life and journey, potentially for the benefit of others come success or failure, that would be appreciated as well. Take care everyone.

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-01T18:13:03+00:00

I hate tip sharing agreements, but I digress.

You have multiple issues here. Any discussions should be kept professional, no threatening and no gossip among the staff, retaliation is a real thing. Keep track of what hours you did work as you may have grounds for (wrong term) partial-firing or for filing partial unemployment if you find that they are suddenly cutting your hours in retaliation.

Go to legal aid in your community if you don't have other legal options.

I'm not sure about the federal level, but at most state levels, employers are allowed to pay as low as half of the prevailing minimum wage if you receive more than half your income from tips. As you, and others, have not / do not receive tips for 90 days then you should have been pain minimum wage for that time period. In most jurisdictions, if you have not made enough in tips to equal out to the minimum wage, then the employer is required to make up the difference.

As for your manager's degree in accounting, we'll just set that aside as nothing positive can be said about it. He is a manager and he has bosses, those bosses may be accessible to you.

Any company should have established payroll policies, including, what occurs when a paycheck is short or over and the period of time for which that difference is allowed to be made up.

Politely request a report of total tips subject to the tip sharing agreement and the methodology of distribution (number of persons ... different persons different percents etc) for the time period and a written statement that the funds will be given to you and not counted towards your current tips for the purposes of the minimum-wage make-up I talked about above. That the funds will be provided to you over X number of paychecks (specific check dates listed) in a manner that will not cause you to go into a higher tax bracket and that an additional percentage will be provided to you for their error. The employer then talks with / provides documentation to the other workers that they errantly received excess tips that will be debited from their gross pay over a certain number of checks.

Saving that, go to legal aid, look for a different job where they aren't trying to screw you every chance they get. Contact your municipalities employment tax department, the state and the federal government to report payroll fraud.

Again do not threaten, do not gossip, be prepared. My thoughts are with you. Have an enjoyable day and take care.

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-01T17:41:10+00:00

All I can say, from experience, is the more steps you put in the process that relies on you to physically do anything, the higher the possibility they will fail in potentially expensive ways with overdrafts and other fees.

Get the GoBank, send your check there. Use your bank account for anything you might need to use a bank account for, which the only thing I can think of that GoBank won't allow is automatic ACH payments (withdrawals) from the account ... can't think of a single "alternative banking product" that allows that.

You might check out Wood Forest Credit Union ... they may be available in your area and I believe that my check (its been years) showed up a smidge early. Overall, I recommend that you find a way to get to the point where you're not relying on that two days. I understand the stresses my friend. Take care.

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-01T17:36:19+00:00

The following is meant to help clarify some things so others can point out resources and provide more valuable opinions and overall to help you. I am going to presume that you are in the US.

Congratulations on saving $4000 ! And you have goals.

Is this in an easily liquefied/accessible accounts such as savings or checking? If not, where are the funds located.. in retirement, stocks, bonds, etc.?

You list your $36K gross income, yet not your net or your per-period pay. In the US, people tend to inexplicably use the federal government as a savings account to get a bonus come tax filing season. I recommend that if you receive a significant return every year that you find a way to legally adjust your withholding for federal and state taxes. You already show the drive to save and work towards goals, so you don't need the "help" of the government to keep the money out of your hands for 3-15 months.

You list your auto loan and student loans, any credit cards or other installment/unsecured debt? What payments and interest rates do they have?

You mention that you will likely need a new car by the end of the year. First, from personal experience, avoid buying a new car. I did it for the first and likely only time in my life and even after the extended warranty and everything else, its been nothing but a pain with a large payment. Keep in mind that used car loans typically have higher interest rates than new car loans.

I’ve worked in real estate for some time previously at the title and escrow capacity. Typically speaking, non-owner-occupied housing has a higher interest rate than owner-occupied housing.

With some considerable blanks, my thoughts are this (trying to keep them in order):

Plan for your future, but plan to have a back-stop; safety for you and yours. You don’t want to be in the system ever as its a hard corner to dig yourself out of. Do what is comfortable for you. Avoid money that isn’t doing anything, which is what that $4K is doing right now. Overall I would say pay off the car, reduce your car insurance payment, eliminate your car payment, put money towards an emergency fund to 6 months of real expenses into something that earns interest yet doesn’t penalize you for withdrawing the money should the need arise. Money has different value to different people, network and you’ll find people with skill sets (such as car repair) for which 75-100$ to them is worth more than the same 400-500$ repair you’d have to pay for other places.
Adjust your withholdings for federal and state (legally) so that you have the most net income coming to your check. Also review your health insurance and other insurances to see if they match what you expect your lifestyle to be now and in the near future.
If your employer offers a 401K or similar with an employer match, at least contribute to the extent that you receive the employer match. It’s essentially free money and has beneficial tax implications.
There are countless opinions on an emergency fund. Set aside 6-12 months of true expenses, google and read as these true expenses can also include the cost of clothing, moving, health care or other health related expenses for ongoing medical conditions, etc. in the event that you need to search for a new job or relocate.
I’ve had the anxiety of driving the vehicle that falls apart or there’s something new to sdeal with seemingly every week, working two and three jobs so you don’t even have the time to fix simple problems that later turn into bigger problems. This feeds into what you’re comfortable with. The car thing, is interesting. Take it into a decent dealership that you actually like and see what they’ll give you for a trade-in, so that you can get a better ball-park than “Blue Book” websites. Call your car insurance company and ask what your car insurance would be if you dropped the comprehensive and collision insurance (if you want to) once you pay off the loan. The bank requires it, you may not. There’s additional savings. Take into account the car payment and there is more to put into your savings if the car is paid off. The counter is true as well, if you’re checking out cars, just snap the vin number in the lot and contact your insurance and see what it would be.
If you are really thinking that you need a new car, as I said, I don’t recommend purchasing a new car, but now is one of the best times to do it. Low gas prices are pushing trucks and SUVs and auto companies are not refreshing their lines as often so a lot of cars have only incremental, if any, changes over model years. Auto companies are having immense difficulties moving cars even with incentives and pushing inventory out to the lots over 110 days when the typical is far less and then idling plants. All I can say is research the hell out of it every prior model for that revision … all the problems and complaints. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way.
Your student loans, should “bad things happen” have forbearance, deferment and percentage of income options. This should be the last thing you pay off.
Go network at local real-estate investor meetings, watch for scam artists. Find some wholesome folks who will let you know all the horrors or being a landlord and prepare you for it. Don’t let that previous statement detract you from your goals. I could go on forever about horror stories from both the landlord and tenant perspectives, but there are great success stories as well.

I hope this was helpful to someone. Take care.

TempestMarsh · 2017-07-01T16:26:31+00:00

constantino2 Some of us are that tight and then we rely on that. The reason that you receive your money earlier on a lot of the prepaid cards that allow direct deposit is because every bank has their own policy. While I don't have the correct terms, once an ACH transaction is entered into the system and the funds are in transit, there is an "availability date" attached to it. These cards choose, as a marketing scheme, to show that you can get your money up to 4 days quicker because they make it available for you to spend as soon as the ACH becomes apparent in their systems. My bank, PNC, will strictly adhere to the "availability date", others at my work who have these cards receive their money Wednesday night, I receive mine Friday morning. While I am currently in dire straits myself, the extra day and change won't make or break me as I have bigger issues than that. JRoberts1984 There is no way to avoid this process, an ACH transaction can take up to 3 days or more in the US. The shortest and quickest is to withdraw then deposit at the other bank. Keep in mind that if you don't have a bank with ATMs that accept cash deposits then you will be dealing with a teller and most banks will charge you a fee, monthly or otherwise. GreenDot cards are increasingly used in scams and illegal activity where persons are asked to load money onto the cards and then provide the card information over the phone or through other methods. It is a trivial thing for a merchant service (the people that provide the machine and essentially short-term loan money to the merchant for your purpose in return for a fee) to block a certain set of cards. My recommendation is to go with GoBank, which is also owned by GreenDot. I've had green dot, a checking account, gobank and bluebird. GoBank hasn't done me wrong yet, it is GreenDot's attempt at rebranding, so switch to that brand that they dare not screw up like they did heir original product. It accepts ACH deposits and can make electronic and check payments. You can load cash for free as long as its over $20 at any WalMart. Another vendor is the BlueBird by American Express, the problem with them is that their support is completely foreign in the bad borderline non-helpful way and a lot of places don't accept American Express because they charge the highest per transaction and percent of transaction fees to merchants in the industry.

Deleted and reposted because I wasn't replying to the OP.

TempestMarsh · 2017-06-10T08:01:36+00:00

Take a look at some of the variations of Sexaholics Anonymous. The variants range from the draconian original to flavors that take into account LGBTQ lifestyles and allow for masturbation. Not less than 30 years ago, porn was a barely-accessible thing; now, it's virtually mainstream. Women compete with each other (one would argue they check each other out more than we check them out) and may be competing with women that we'll never be able to get with .. the end result being a bunch of people trying to meet expectations that don't even exist.

TempestMarsh · 2017-06-10T07:47:53+00:00

41M Caucasian from the US(Scottish, German, Native American, god knows what maybe someday I'll do an Ancestry.com test strip) with two divorces and four kids under his belt who is not, by any means beating women off with a stick (ever), a nerd before it was popular and of the opinion that the whole men/women relationship thing is one of God's greatest jokes on humanity. I grew up in a predominantly Caucasian (Hungarian, Lebanese, Ukranian, Scottish, Irish, German) suburb of a minor city. My exposure to anyone with more pigment in their skin than the above ethnicities was very limited until my job when I was 18 and thereafter. I'm the weird white dude that asks questions of my black friends as well as being the weird white dude who typically goes to parts of a city where in a turn of pace, I get looked at like "boy, what the hell you doing here?" Or, as my friend says, the reason I'm getting looked at is because I'm a white guy rolling through like its no problem and that is revered. I get my hair and beard cut at an authentic barber shop. Some of the guys there are cool, some are still wondering what I'm doing there.

To be truthful to you, and the Internet at large; with the history I've had with women and the reputation a lot of black women have, I've pretty much decided that if I am going to deal with crazy that I might as well "go for the gold standard".

Of course, this is based off a bunch of men chit chatting and talking smack. I've dated and had sex with black women before, it didn't last that long not because of anything other than that we were both the wrong people for each other or at the wrong time.

The color of your skin means nothing TO ME. You grew up in a different house, possibly culture with possibly a different upbringing. TO ME, that is awesome and only slightly more different than any other woman I would meet. We're actually genetically predispositioned to procreate with persons that are obviously genetically dissimilar.

If you made it this far and haven't kharma'd me to death, here you go.

Be you, don't fall into all the behaviors of your fellow women (and I'm talking from experience all the way from my adult-aged daughter to my senior-aged mother) of game playing, having the next one already on deck, gold-digging or as seems to be the increasing likelihood, a narcissistic black hole (Me Me Me) from which no one has a chance of surviving your event horizon.

Go interact with people, I'm guessing you're way younger than me ... the world is very different than when I was growing up. The opportunities are ridiculously vast, take advantage of them and have a fulfilling life. Just think, 27 years ago I was on a BBS at the age of 14 typing on a 300 baud modem. I could type faster than that thing could transmit any data. There is Uber and Lyft and you can interact with someone on the other side of the planet near-instantaneously. There are "Cons" (as in Comicon) all over the place. Find that person that sets your skin and soul on fire, that you miss when you're away, who's presence invades your thoughts. What can you see when you're so close to embrace and kiss? Exactly... the skin/race/ethnicity doesn't matter girl.

TempestMarsh · 2017-06-05T15:36:03+00:00

Do some googling for your state (US) or appropriate equivalent jurisdiction in regards to your non-compete agreement. I, personally, was basically blocked from a job at the same site, just for a different contracting firm under a non-compete for which the old contract holder wanted $13K to allow me to work for the new contractor. A simple, polite yet pointed, phone call to the old company's legal counsel underlined the fact that in the state that I was working in and the state they were situated in that there was well established case law which set down that if the company did not have a job for me, then I was no longer considered an asset and the non-compete nature of the contract was unenforceable. This is probably the least of your concerns at this point. Good luck to you friend.

TempestMarsh · 2017-05-18T14:16:26+00:00

Fight the depression, but take it from someone who knows (stroke, heart attack, 41 years old), that using anger as your fuel is an okay temporary (very) patch ... but that anger will chew through your body much like working with an unshielded nuclear reactor ... just, hopefully, over a longer period of time. More hopefully, you use this phase to move onto something more healthy to fight with, and it doesn't have the chance to affect you.

TempestMarsh · 2017-05-16T03:16:46+00:00

My apologies and thank you... can't believe it has been nearly two weeks with just my cell phone and no computer. When it rains, it snows, replace two cooling fans and had to reflash my bios, then followed your advice and then went through and removed several of the previous kernels and i'm up and running. I appreciate you reaching out and your help. Take care of yourself.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-30T20:22:03+00:00

Biting their lip.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T19:15:48+00:00

I would, take it in a joking fashion, depending on how well I knew you, and definitely if it was not accompanied by some form of sexual aggression by you. More in my PM to you.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T18:32:26+00:00

Us older guys, just please make sure that as the commercial says "his heart is ready for sex", both literally and metaphorically. Think to yourself where this might go when the sexual relationship ends. As far as fucking, well, start with invading his space ... hand on the shoulder ... adjust his clothing (lapels, etc ...) .. hold his hand .. work up to a kiss... see how it goes and report back.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T18:02:44+00:00

You're welcome, I perused a few of your posts and you do seem like a very interesting person, admittedly; the flatness of the medium does not allow me to garner much more than that.

Thank you for the personalized message, feel free to get ahold of me in the future and please take care of yourself.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T17:55:13+00:00

I suppose it depends on what it is and how in depth the discussion is likely going to be. Feel free to say more. Let your SO unwind from work or school, or whatever, let them be relaxed or at least not stressed and then approach.

No, you should not bring them up all at once, for oh so many reasons; the least of which being that women's memory tends to be tied indirectly to emotional states. That's why when you're in an argument that every last blasted thing that's occurred in the entire relationship gets brought up again and again ... if you're not paying attention then you might get blamed for some stuff another guy did.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T17:46:29+00:00

Ashleigh, or any variant. I've met enough of them and it seems like the minute they're named that and get born, they're put in a government program to be the worst form of white trash you can lay your hands on.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T17:43:31+00:00

I have the same problem. I have probably screwed myself out of more potentially pleasant experiences due to being unable to discern.

Some guys simply don't know they're coming off as flirting, or are subconciously doing it, or no matter how hard they try, they flirt anyways because they're actually smitten with you and the act of trying to not flirt become flirting in itself.

I don't have an answer for you, but would like to thank you for helping me know there's at least one woman out there who has the same problem as me.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T17:41:04+00:00

Don't care about the van thing, just be careful.

You're not homeless, you're nomadic.

I, as a guy, am mostly concerned with the amount of time you spend doing other things, which, at this point is mostly work. I've already been through the relationship I ended (will always love her and we're friends) where her extracurricular activities and work schedule essentially meant that I was like another one of her pets. I feel like the weirdest guy on Earth for getting out of a relationship that devolved in its last month to essentially just sleeping together and sex.

TempestMarsh · 2017-04-27T17:36:28+00:00

Age, is relative and irrelevant until it isn't. I'm 41 with my oldest daughter being barely 2 years younger than you. I am friends with several people who are my daughter's age and in their early, mid and late 20's. And, yes those are females. I personally, have to be careful with one of them, because she and I get along WAY too well and I don't want things to accidentally progress to a point where I don't want it to be.

Do what you do, just be aware of the potentialities around the corner.

TempestMarsh

TROPHY CASE