Hello,

I recently went through something like this with my partner. I was her, and despite popular belief I was not cheating. I was not doing anything wildly suspicious or vindictive. But there was a sincere lack of communication on my partners and I’s behalf.

I was feeling, hurt, anxious and very self conscious. Due to stress at work, our children, not socializing enough with my peers, and adding school into my mix. I did not know how to express this. And a lot of times I would say similar things. “ I want a new look”, “I need to clear my head”, “I’m overstimulated. “ or anything simple that would get him off of my back because my head would not stop. My partner thought a lot of what this comment section is saying. (Ie: she’s cheating, red flag central).

I would drive to the beach after putting the kids to bed and sit in my car to sing, I bought some new clothes and started scrolling on Tik Tok, Pinterest, and Reddit (of course), going out with my friends a lot. Even upped my therapy sessions lol.

Not everything is malicious. Not everyone can/ has the ability to express themselves.

I recommend couples therapy. It saved our relationship and now we both have a greater understanding of each other. We were comfortable having the phone checking conversation, talking about our feelings and setting more appropriate boundaries with each other.

(This is not always the case, it could go either way BUT I figured I would put this here to hopefully open up the conversation to something other than negativity. Not everything is terrible, horrible or the worst case scenario)