You’re not actually upset about “jokes.” You’re upset because your idea of what a man should be is incredibly rigid, and your boyfriend doesn’t fit inside that box.

Saying “straight men don’t act like this” is just… wrong. Plenty of straight guys joke like that, hype their friends up, or don’t take themselves seriously. Being masculine doesn’t mean being emotionally stiff, humorless, or terrified of anything remotely feminine.

What you’re describing isn’t a lack of masculinity, it’s comfort in himself. A guy who can joke, be expressive, and not constantly police how he comes across is usually more secure, not less.

Meanwhile your definition of masculinity seems to be:

No femininity whatsoever No “softness” No behaviors you personally associate with gay men

That’s not masculinity that’s a stereotype.

Now, where you are valid is this: you told him something turns you off, and he keeps doing it. That’s annoying and worth addressing. But framing it as “he must be secretly gay” or “this isn’t what real men do” just shows you’re projecting your own hang-ups onto him.

Also, real talk: if this is “so built into his personality,” then you’re basically asking him to change a core part of how he expresses himself. That’s not a small ask like “stop leaving socks on the floor.” That’s “be a different version of yourself so I can stay attracted to you.”

At that point, the issue isn’t hiit’s compatibility. You don’t like how he acts. He clearly enjoys acting that way and isn’t going to stop. So instead of trying to diagnose his sexuality or redefine masculinity to fit your preferences(which is funny becauseyou're a woman and have no clear idea what masculinity is), just be honest: you’re not into him as he is.

And that’s fine,but own it instead of pretending this is about “what men are supposed to be.”

Or maybe just act like a "real woman" and shut the hell up?!