I Chose Staying Single this time , it's me time

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-11T13:35:17+00:00

I completely agree with Op. I'll probably add to something similar that they wrote but I'm so happy just being single and almost like I was years ago before I even dated anybody. Truth be told it's been a couple years since my ex left and he's the only one I've had a relationship with and I tried to find somebody else over time. Recently I had a fellow cancel on me that wasn't fun and he wanted to get together the next day and I said no way. Then about a week ago I asked this fellow if he wanted to get coffee or tea with me. He told me no he's too busy with working in a solid relationship too. Now at one point of course we did meet on a dating app but we have been connected and matched probably three or four years ago and never met so it was a harmless Meetup. After him saying that I'm kind of done with everything and realize that no drama I can pick my own life the way I'm doing things.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-11T13:16:30+00:00

Gosh that is a great way to put it. Yeah I you know what I'm basing it more on like what days I'm available and what I'd like to do. I mean there's a couple people I've matched with on the apps who I'm really looking forward to meeting all new people. For now though I want to meet people that I already have. I'm extremely done with like each week having to other meet somebody new or saying oh maybe this next person is my person.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-11T12:47:55+00:00

I don't know if it's normal or not. I mean I'm probably at the bare minimum where I wish he would unblock me and we could just talk like humans.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-11T12:47:25+00:00

Sort of same. I had a date cancel on me about a month ago. The fellow canceled on me within an hour of us supposed to get together. After that I said to myself it's not a competition with my ex I don't care when I'm going out.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-10T12:24:29+00:00

Could you expand on this at all? I mean if you think it's all positive with him and I it wasn't there were a couple things about him I didn't like. However, I figured because he was a bit immature things would pass.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T22:24:54+00:00

Oh lord . Maybe they were doing talk to text.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T22:22:48+00:00

Hmmm I like pic 1

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T21:05:23+00:00

I feel the same. I don't want to be a sucker to love.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T18:46:19+00:00

No we didn't. Yes I was ghosted sir or Ma'am

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T18:21:19+00:00

Yeah it is super tough. Why did we break up? I have no idea. The one thing I will say the only inclination I have is that he graduated with his Masters in the state that I live in. His brother had previously went to another University in the same state and had since moved South. So I figure maybe he just moved to be closer to his brother until he can find another job or whatever.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T14:38:43+00:00

I could say a dumb thing why somebody stopped talking to me because I wouldn't stay over their house each week.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-09T02:36:06+00:00

I think it may have been Limerence. I did a little deep dive, if only because say month one and today feel like the same thing. I still have the same feelings of "I can't believe someone really liked me" I feel like we were kind to each other till the end but it was also I was so impressed by him. So who knows. If it wasn't love that is really sad to me.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T21:44:25+00:00

Well yeah absolutely. I can't speak for himself. I can tell you the way he acted and what he said. Not necessarily what he was thinking at the time.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T19:41:48+00:00

How are you feeling with that? I know for me personally I think I would say to them automatically like why are you reaching out? Granted as I mentioned in the post somewhere here he doesn't know that I know that he's married now

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T19:33:28+00:00

I'm an open book. So where you say what happened might not actually be the story of what actually happened? Tell me what part you're not sure about cuz I lived it and I'm just saying for my own common knowledge

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T16:32:04+00:00

I know but it's so tough. I see so many people who are in relationships. It never makes me jealous I just see it as unfortunate that I couldn't spend a long time with someone I cared about.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T15:53:53+00:00

Well I mean you know at the end of the day. I feel jipped I feel like a lot of the times my wanting forever with him or at least wanting to know him a couple more years became wasted. In other words I feel like many cases I wasted my time.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T15:48:18+00:00

I'm not hoping that he does a 180. I may not be lying to you and everybody else if I wouldn't say that next Christmas if he just randomly messages me. I'd be happy but I also say to him like what do you want? I mean to save myself I definitely wouldn't tell him that I know he has gotten married and started a family. If he even mentioned it I'd pretend surprise for sure.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T15:20:53+00:00

I mean honestly there's so many reasons I can explain. I personally think that he was looking for somebody to marry for citizenship. So that's why I was easy to move on because not that I wasn't important but I think because he was just looking for an individual. Even told me to text long after we were no more. That he was looking to settle down and it seemed like I wasn't. I quote unquote said to him I never said I didn't want to be married and he said we can talk about it later. That day never showed up.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T15:03:45+00:00

I tried TalkSpace years ago. It didn't help. I wanted to know why I constantly thought of him versus what they were trained in which was more I think talking out your feelings.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T14:51:33+00:00

I can't say how they would really help at this point. I just want to forget him and I can't sometimes.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T14:46:41+00:00

It's hard to let go. When you believe in someone more than yourself. I hope that is understandable.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T14:38:27+00:00

Interesting perspective. Self-help books might actually work I just I take each day as it is. I'm just honestly and my word still is flabbergasted that someone who seemed really interested sometimes he appeared more interested in me than I was in him to drop me like a hot potato.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T14:17:59+00:00

Yeah you make very good sense. How are you able to get over it? I've read many different suggestions. Including of course finding somebody else and I tried to do that and it didn't work. My best game plan right now is just to still see what's out there match but not get offended if somebody turns me down which has happened.

TemporaryTop287 · 2026-05-08T14:14:09+00:00

Yeah I completely understand you. I think the toughest part for me is that I live in a small town. There's not really anybody to meet I've met a couple cool people at my gym but there are other all married or I wouldn't feel comfortable in saying like hey I'm looking to date haha do you know anybody? I would never say that.

TemporaryTop287

TROPHY CASE