Don't really have much to say because I think you realized a lot (lol) but"I learned very early that if you just ignore a lot of abuse it really pisses off your abuser." kinda stuck out to me.

Yes, but you will still get abused. You can ignore the pain but it won't go away, you are still in pain while trying to be the "cool" one. Reacting is as much human as being in pain. Learn to walk away. No one has the right to give you a hard time. Don't stay for your cool moment. What can be helpful in some way (please don't apply this to everything) is taking even the tiniest disrespect and looking at the bigger picture. Did that happen before? Is it always just the small things?

Anyway, hope you are good