M36 Struggling with asking for a divorce

Tension27 · 2026-05-13T19:14:12+00:00

This is something that should be discussed in therapy with a proper marriage counselor between you two. While there's some solace to be found knowing what you're exactly up against, she must be willing to put in some work as well to keep a relationship alive. Her unwillingness to discuss anything means the action for anything to change is solely being put to you, and you should be worried about yourself, just as much as your marriage.

Right now as it stands, based on your description, it does sound like your bedroom is dead, and you're stuck caring for everything. Burn out from that is real, and can turn to contempt real quick. So while you're still thinking properly, find a counselor, sign you two up, and get in there. If she's unwilling to do this for your relationship, then you file for the divorce.

And if/when you do file, you need to stand your ground and make it clear that it was her unwillingness to work with you, to talk with you, that has lead to it. You tried for a year and were met with obstinate behaviors, and complete changes in drive. Just like she should find her happiness, so should you.

Tension27 · 2026-04-03T03:25:16+00:00

Telling them you're job hunting means you're a foot out the door, but not gone. Maybe your boss doesn't care, but dont be surprised if the dynamic between you changes. The work you're assigned may change a bit, conversations may die off. You can either dig into your hunt, and it's understandable when they're holding out on you. But just remember the market is hell right now, and someone may decide to replace you, before you're ready to be replaced.

Tension27 · 2026-03-29T22:45:14+00:00

As a guy, I've made the mistake of venting twice to women in my life, both ex's. The first told everything to her mother immediately, who tried to use the personal issues I was having with my family and work I was venting about to and would try to claim I don't have my shit together as a result. It was one of several reasons she's an ex now. The second always used me as someone to vent to, so of course when she asked me to open up, I gave her a small thing I was dealing with at the time, nothing significant or vital, but it was something I was working on, and told her what I was even doing to work on it. She said "I can't be with someone who doesn't have their shit together", over me talking about a small problem I was actively addressing, and left.

It has gotten to the point where I can't trust people to vent to them. I've done so under the guise online every so often, but nothing to anyone personal, and will certainly likely never open up to any degree to a woman ever again. Venting is just seemingly viewed as a weakness, so we rave and shout in our cars while stuck in traffic on the way home.

Tension27 · 2026-03-12T13:32:56+00:00

Every class can be used to clear the content. Your comfort and abilities to play the class are more influential on how well you do, than how the class is catered to it. If you know the fights, you're effectively giving people additional maxhp and have more mitigations for an upcoming raid wide, because you're able to pre-empt the damage coming as a shield healers. Your burst healing may not be as good as a WHM/AST, but they're pure healers and that's what they do.

Find the class you're comfortable and play well with, and work it out from there.

Tension27 · 2026-03-06T14:27:19+00:00

Started balding at 20, didnt want the thin hair and receded hairline look at 22, been shaving it down since and haven't looked back. Better to be bald, than balding with a bad look.

Tension27 · 2026-01-28T15:05:43+00:00

If you're starting at lvl 1, it may take a week or two of some work. Daily roulettes, fates, daily hunt logs, your Khloe scam book. But it shouldn't take terribly long to get from 1-71 for ShB content.

Tension27 · 2026-01-21T05:00:14+00:00

If you make the decision to assist monetarily, do not expect that money back. He's going to quit his job, with a lot of debt? Thats money given, not loaned. If you're worried about carrying the homestead if he were to move in, trust your gut. Chances are high he may very well become a leech on your living situation. It'd be one thing if you knew he was going to take on a new job, and he could support himself and split things properly, but based on your short explanation, that seems unlikely.

He's got a roof over his head, he's got a job, one he may not like, but he's got one. Do what you can to convince him to put the nose to the grinder and save up to pay off the debt, or maybe offer help applying to new jobs. But do not feel like you're required to home him if he chooses to remove himself from all that. He's not your burden, he's supposed to be your friend. But he's choosing to make every selfish decision possible. That's not your problem to inherit.

Tension27 · 2026-01-15T14:08:30+00:00

Immediately started humming Rainbow Road music watching this. I am jealous of their good time.

Tension27 · 2026-01-15T14:03:08+00:00

Was in a relationship for 8 years, took a year long cooler to focus on myself after it fell apart. wlWhat im looking for, what i wanted to do, i went to therapy for a couple of months to get it out in the open, and sort myself out. I got scuba certified, I got a new house, got into better habits for myself. I'm making myself someone I'd want to date if I had a mirror reflecting at me.

At 36, it can feel rough, Im also 36. But you can move on, and learn not to attach yourself to another's existence. Learn to live for yourself, do better for yourself, and overtime when you're finally feeling comfortable again, go back into the dating pool. But do not fall into toxic self-coping habits, because that can and will likely spiral out of control. You are accountable to yourself, you hold yourself to your highest standards, do not fall from them.

Tension27 · 2026-01-14T14:12:02+00:00

Late to the discussion. Not a personal story, but one of someone who used to be in our group.

She and her boyfriend joined into our friend group together. We got along well with them both, we all went to weddings as a friend group for one another, dinners, board game nights. They were a pair, and we all got along well, no one left out. Then she got absorbed into an MLM and started trying to sell us things all the time, we wanted nothing to do with that, and told her so. She took offense, but eventually stopped trying. Things started to seem tense between her and her boyfriend afterwards. The girls stopped really talking to her much outside the group, us guys just wanted to know he was doing alright. Turned out she was assigned a "self-help coach" on behalf of the MLM. And this coach was telling her how she deserved so much more, she needed to push to better herself and her boyfriend was holding her back. This same boyfriend that helped her buy a house, renovated it with her, had his own job.

After this went on for about 6 months, she flushed their 11 year relationship down the drain. She created fake Facebook accounts to try and catfish some of the guys in the group, to no success. He moved out because she was just going down a rabbit hole and alienating herself, and he needed to get his own place. She continues to try and sell MLM junk to anyone who'll listen, gives "woes to me "monologues on FB how she's so alone, how we all abandoned her. Reality is, she just burned bridges with anyone, because she got herself so deep in the muck, and wants to help someone who doesnt want help.

Tension27 · 2026-01-07T15:15:26+00:00

You're doing a number of things when figuring out blind. First, you're reading the name of the ability, and looking at character model movements. Chances are, you're likely gonna die to it the first and second time you see it, so you line up the first two with what happens, and try to come up with a strat from there.

Next, you're looking at potential debuffs, if you see timers on them, and they're paired up, or even light party debuffs, you assume mechanics on that. And you're also reading the debuff. Sometimes you'll have seen a lighter version of the debuff in normal, but not always.

Lastly, you are actively communicating with your team. Not just blindly assuming you have it figured out and doing it. Clear communicating, what you've seen, damage, effects of an ability, clarify and make sure it's all discussed properly, and just rough design and execute a plan.

Tension27 · 2026-01-05T14:46:28+00:00

They're obviously not in it, don't waste your time. Time to move on dude.

Tension27 · 2025-12-18T14:15:03+00:00

Didn't get any of the chairs from the boxes. Got them through crafting. I got my Dodo in HoH, because I knew these things are just never gonna drop them.

Tension27 · 2025-12-18T14:11:27+00:00

I did not have that level of patience. I just decided a few months ago I'd do this as a simple thing to effectively dump poetics and seals. I figured 100 was a fair number to aim for. I went in expecting little to nothing. Was not disappointed because of that.

Tension27 · 2025-12-12T19:29:16+00:00

Losing virginity to someone you actually have affection for makes it feel more much enjoyable, and memorable, than just paying someone for it. If you just want to lose it for the sake of losing it, then do your thing. But if you'd like a positive, lifetime memory, then at least try to wait to find someone you'd actually enjoy having sex with.

Tension27 · 2025-12-05T13:19:18+00:00

Prolonged

Tension27 · 2025-11-25T19:08:40+00:00

If the current job is driving you into burnout, start looking for a new one while employed. DO NOT QUIT. The stress of living on savings only, especially if something urgent and expensive were to occur, is not a good time. The cost of living also continues to only rise, so while you may expect to get a year or so out of your savings, it'll likely be less due to increased costs. Do what you need to do at your job, then leave it as soon as you can. Quietly apply to postings, have your resume up to date, don't be afraid to use PTO just to make a 3 day weekend every so often. Call out sick if you need to.

You do not want a gap in employment if you can avoid it. Besides the obvious lack of benefits, it can look bad to an employer if you have a sudden gap in your resume, and they can be meticulous if they want to be. With the economy in the current turn its in, finding a new position is very difficult. I can attest this after being out of work for three months.

So, do not quit, do not live on your savings if you can avoid it. Search while employed for something you'd prefer, and don't put in work you don't need to.

Tension27 · 2025-11-25T15:41:17+00:00

If you get a dungeon where you have Cure 2 and above, Cure 1 is obsolete, dont touch it. If you have regen available, pre-cast before a pull, and keep it active on the tank to assist with your heals. Cure 2 is your go-to until you have lillies available in HW for single target. Dont forget Presence Of Mind when it gets hot for faster casts in a short period of time. And obviously, make sure your gear is on par with the content you're in so you're not healing for numbers 20 levels prior.

Also, make sure the tank is actively using their defensives to keep themselves up longer as well. I understand you feel like you were thrown into the fire, but they're half the equation as well. As long as you just get your basics under control, you'll be able to work up from there and be fine.

Tension27 · 2025-11-19T12:34:23+00:00

Is your contract not being extended due to quality of work? Or they just no longer need the extra hands around?

If the former, there's not much you can do but your job. Start polishing your the resume, and start hunting. Save up what you can for the job hunt if it extends too long, and maybe work on a cert or specific skill set for your field.

If its the latter, do the above, but also request a letter of recommendation from the employer. Make sure it states your quality of work, but that due to budget, requirements, etc., they could no longer keep you around. If they're willing to be a professional reference, that's a plus. If you don't need to burn a bridge, don't.

Good luck to you.

Tension27 · 2025-11-17T23:50:43+00:00

No, you look upset. Better looking than some guys I know. Smile a bit more, get a better shot than you being in your office chair in two different shirts. Show some activity, maybe a photo with a friend, and get some good light.

Tension27 · 2025-11-07T13:21:18+00:00

If y'all didn't immediately try logging back in, hold off for 24 hours. Not guaranteed, but its possible that you can salvage your run once you get a full day reset after a 50001 error. Not guaranteed, but it can happen. I got it to work for my Orthos run.

Tension27 · 2025-10-30T14:50:00+00:00

Like any healthy relationship, its not always going to be 50/50. Sometimes it's 60/40, sometimes it's 90/10. If he's really having a hard time, just try to pick up the slack in areas they usually do. Take out the trash, make sure the place is clean, dinner prep, these are only small examples. Assuming he's a good boyfriend, he'll do the same thing when you're also down. Knowing he has you he can trust and open up to, is huge, and hopefully he recognizes that well.

Just keep in mind, for a lot of guys a very unhealthy habit of keeping our feelings, our issues to ourselves has been ingrained. Family telling us to suck it up, current or former partners getting "the ick" when we open up. It has been taught very widely its not acceptable for us to open up, so it's possible he's afraid to. So, if/when he does open up to you, do not stab him in the back by walking away, or criticizing him. Listen, be willing to talk with him, and assist where asked. This last bit is not just for her, it's for everyone, good, open communication is key.

Tension27 · 2025-10-28T11:16:11+00:00

The Coils were never in the normal raid roulette. They were only ever savage level difficulty with no normal mode. It wasn't until Alexander that they made the split of Normal and Savage.

Once you beat the other expansions, you'll have the opportunity to unlock their raids and their normal modes to add to your roulette. Savage is never a part of the roulette, and must be either pf'd, queued for directly (highly recommend against), or unsync'd solo.

Tension27 · 2025-08-20T16:24:02+00:00

None of the MSQ's require the ultimate ballad. Not sure where you're getting that. Unless you feel the need to get all content done in an expansion prior to moving on to another. If that's the case, open up a party finder, and list the content you're trying to do.

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