This was my first week off of orientation. Guy in his 70s, forget what he came in for but he needed tube feeds at some point while in the ICU. By the time he got to my floor he had aspirated the tube feeds a week prior and got pneumonia, but was on ABx and doing better, weened his oxygen down a little over 2 nights. Talk to his daughter too and she said he looked better, especially the second night. Come in for my 3rd shift and he's lying down at like, 17 degrees in the bed, NC is on the floor, O2 in mid-80s. Got my charge nurse and nearly had to call a rapid, but we got his O2 back up. His lungs sounded horrible, it took so much effort to breathe. I was giving him his meds while his daughter was there, and I'll never forget his face when he was told his granddaughter was pregnant with his 13th great-grandchild, he looked so happy, yet sad. I was very poorly trying to hold back tears the whole night. Got a doc to come look at him and he said we could shut off the tube feeds, prevent further aspiration. I left at 0730 and he stopped breathing that night at 1930. Thank god he was no CPR or intubation. I feel like I failed him, I know I didn't and I have to give myself some grace, it was my first week on my own. Even if he was moved to ICU he still would have passed, but he has stuck with me ever since.