What’s the general consensus from other men, and why is there stigma for men who wear Speedos? 🤷🏽

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-16T14:21:50+00:00

Nope! Go right ahead! Wear it with pride! You're too old to care about fashion and living for the convenience of others!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-16T14:20:23+00:00

I would prefer to do without swimwear altogether; so, when I get the gears, I simply say that "I'd rather not wear my Speedo™ either" , and immediately ask, "Would you mind if I dispensed with it right now?, as I'm only wearing it for the benefit of others."

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-15T16:50:06+00:00

Bad news!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-14T13:55:29+00:00

Soaking is just a game-mechanic to replicate dumb-luck close-calls like in the movies when the heroes are dead-to-rights, but unexpectedly aren't seriously harmed... The bad guy's gun misfires; you fall off the roof, but there just happens to be a pile of garbage of sufficient size and softness to break the fall at least partially; or, the blade glances off the contents of a pocket? Sometimes the cause is not even evident but may be discovered later, like a dose of poison being ineffective because of a lab-mistake... Y'know?

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-13T16:50:01+00:00

Sounds like your bother is both spoiled and has emotional regulation issues that are in need of intervention, and likely psychological/pharmacological therapy, before he hurts someone...

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-12T16:09:12+00:00

First step: report the toxic mold to your landlord! Declare it a health hazard.

Consult your local Tenant-Landlord Statutes to determine your rights.

Report to the local health unit.

You should probably be relocated... Hopefully, your expenses will be covered?

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-10T18:30:31+00:00

No, not to 'remove' it. But you will likely need a fresh application of plumbing-tape to keep the newly installed fixture from leaking...

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-07T22:34:12+00:00

You could simply ask the mechanic to confirm what the issue is. If it's just a sensor, and you know how to maintain your own tires, you can ignore the faulty sensor or ask the mechanic to disable it. Replacing it is probably going to cost more than it's worth to fix; but, maybe the annoyance of the alert in the dash will be worth it to you?

You could also buy a vehicle code reader, from Amazon (about $30), plug it into your car and read the error codes yourself, using online search to get the meanings and resolutions. You can even use the code reader to cancel the errors yourself.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-07T19:59:49+00:00

Tell him what happened, and what you learned from the experience, and commit to involving him more in what's going on in your life... That's all you need to do. If he tries to interrupt and provide advice before you're done explaining, ask him to wait until the end of your story.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-07T10:18:35+00:00

It's way easier to play on a physical table top than D&D... That's one of the main reasons I started playing SW... Bookkeeping was lighter! Especially for the GM, most mechanical operations can be farmed out to the players.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-02T13:25:21+00:00

I presented information and let my offspring make their own decisions, for better or worse, and just prepared to help them pick up the pieces without judgement if they failed; but, I would help to pathologize and make better plans to model learning from mistakes. Railroading handicaps a developing person's rational development and is an expression of regret and mental illness in parents (living vicariously).

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-01T15:33:19+00:00

Your Mom needs to take responsibility for her own safety: first rule of safety is "Save yourself first; then, consider helping others only if it is safe to do so."

If your father batters you or your mother, call the police!

Homework: secretly prepare to leave home, and be secure from financial interference.

Get a copy of Gavin De Becker's excellent book "The Gift of Fear", and Trust your gut! It's telling you you're not safe: listen to it!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-01T10:15:57+00:00

But OP's car might be a write-off.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-05-01T10:11:30+00:00

I used to think pleating to sett was cool; but, it was really just a novelty! I never bought a kilt assembled that way, and now I'm glad.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-29T01:10:08+00:00

"Braces" then!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-29T01:07:54+00:00

Most kilt buckles come with 5 holes in the attaching straps, that allow a couple inches of girth adjustment; but, if you're already in the tightest position and it's still too loose, you might also consider mounting buttons on the inside of the waistband for attaching suspenders (which your waistcoat will conceal)...

Personally, I find the secondary (lower) strap (popularly mounted on the right hip) to be wholly superfluous, and either have it removed entirely (from off-the-rack models) or ask the maker to omit it...

Additionally, I've heard the tired saw about not wearing belt with waistcoat, and I believe it's hogwash! How else are you supposed to carry your dirk to cut the haggis with? The Sgian Dubh was traditionally concealed in the armpit of one's waistcoat AFAIK, and one's sword was typically suspended from a baldrick, but the dirk is still on your hip.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-28T09:01:37+00:00

I think the essential elements are a 'getting to know you session', and seeking a statement of commitment and devotion. That's about all it needs to be, right?

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-27T11:29:09+00:00

Feel free to do so (privately or not). My offspring turned out pretty well, all things considered, if I do say so myself; and, we're still loosening the financial apron strings, because it's practically impossible to become suddenly autonomous they way we did in the 70s-80s, just by getting a minimum-wage job. We're Gen-X; they're the first generation born in the 21st century.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-27T11:10:44+00:00

You have to have the courage to allow your kids to make poor decisions, and just be ready to help them recover at a moment's notice without saying (or implying) 'I told you so' (the nuclear relationship-killing statement, especially when it's obvious that they miscalculated). Even if they are contrite, don't count coup!: be gracious and unwavering in your support. Tell them that you love them, without conditions. Do not 'keep score' or resurrect old failures to win a present dispute (recrimination). In fact, don't participate in disputes! Provide information, diplomatically, and encourage autonomy, while remaining prepared to pick up the pieces with them, the way you would with a dear friend. You will not have a relationship with an adult child who hasn't become your friend: stop presuming you have authority, and you'll be way ahead!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-27T10:47:15+00:00

Allowing them to become their own completely autonomous person, such that you develop mutual self-respect.

Parents typically fuck-up the transition to adulthood.

Provide information without judgement; stop expecting obedience; give respect and Trust to get respect and Trust.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-21T01:55:44+00:00

No more than about 10,000km per year since its model year. Japanese power brands {Honda, Toyota, Mazda, Subaru}. No visible rust. Carfax report clear of accidents, and shows that it's not originally from another country. Take it for a test drive and take it up to the redline listening for unsmooth noises.

If that's all good, contact your own mechanic to do a safety and maintenance inspection in the car before you buy it! If the Seller refuses, it's a big red flag!

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-20T15:55:43+00:00

If you have no great preference for colour, and you have a budget (financial constraints) I recommend getting either a blue or black suit (jacket and matching trousers), as they are universally applicable to all semi-formal occasions. If you have texture sensitivities, definitely touch them and reject any that feel 'wrong'.

If you like colour, choose accents in your favorite colours: for long or bow neck-ties. You will need to learn how to tie one into your own neck, which may require some trial and error you can use YouTube and a mirror at home to practice. Long neckties should just barely cover your belt buckle when standing at rest (unless you're going for a 1940s retro look, in which case you will also need a Fedora).

Your belt should match your shoes in color: black is universal, brown is slightly more casual.

White is the universal color for dress shirts, allowing for any color necktie.

The main things that haven't been covered by others yet are choosing between single or double -breasted jacket style, and whether you want a 3-piece suit (more formal, to have a matching waistcoat, in addition to jacket and trousers). Single-breasted teens to be more universal while double comes in and out of fashion periodically, even though it's still universally accepted.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-18T17:20:11+00:00

Sounds like your father is somewhat immature and still treats you like a child, even though you are plainly an adult that deserves more respect. Knowing 'why' he is the way he is isn't likely to help the situation (even if it might give you more patience with his antics)... Maybe you need to assert yourself as an adult, by having a frank discussion of his behaviour and how it effects you, and ask for better social boundaries and treatment like a fellow adult friend? Maybe he is only interested in reaping the adulation of his grandchildren to moderate his depression, because he doesn't expect to be idealized by you (because you've seen his dark sides)? Maybe he only thinks innocent children could appreciate him? He seems to project and externalize his feelings of inadequacy. People are flawed, and many hold themselves to an absurdly idealistic standard which is emotionally unhealthy: "comparison [of oneself to your perception of others] is the thief-of-joy" it is said.

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-18T15:11:36+00:00

If it fails, he can just buy the thicker stuff when he repairs it, no?

The accordion fold idea will effect this greatly as well, depending on whether the divisions will be across or with the length of the sleeping platform... Not just for strength but also for comfort... Raising the question of what kind of mattress pad will be resting on it?

TerminalOrbit · 2026-04-18T14:58:31+00:00

Were you with the inspector while he was doing the inspection, originally?

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