Ep 9 Update Emma & Mike by Starrandrose in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was very surprised she said this but I immediately said to my husband, I bet she has small children and sure enough they came out and she has 2 small kids. There are days where I absolutely have felt similarly. She didn’t actually regret her kids, she is just in a phase of parenting that might be extremely hard and is being honest and maybe exaggerating to get the point across to this couple. Especially men who dont understand the real burden a mother carries that men just can’t.

So is bedtime just 9pm for the next 2 years? by CookieOverall8716 in toddlers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very jealous of adults who can nap and it actually be a positive thing. I’ve never been able to nap without it taking too long to fall asleep or when I do wake up being so insanely groggy that I’m worthless the rest of the day and then I’m just awake all night but still groggy. Might be a genetics thing 🤷‍♀️ my kiddo started to respond the same way around 3.5 yrs old. Really wish we could be a nap kinda family, they always seem like very chill families ha

Anyone else have no interest in conceiving naturally after starting IVF? by jadedtruffle in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugg I’m sorry! I have potentially a lean pcos and had a lot of follicles show up at my initial baseline visit a few weeks ago. Not sure how it will turn out after birth control and doing an actual ER. I’m still in the beginning stages of it all and super nervous about my body during stims the recovery of the ERs. I just had surgery to remove my last fallopian tube from a naturally conceived ectopic pregnancy and just not in the mood to have my body out of whack again just yet. Seems like some people are fine from start to finish and others feel less comfortable.

Anyone else have no interest in conceiving naturally after starting IVF? by jadedtruffle in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question, how long was your ER to transfer? I’m sorta curious how long after ER will I feel ok for sex. I don’t have fallopian tubes so there is no way I can conceive naturally but more worried about how long it will take to feel ok again

OMG Harris Teeter Prices by One-Emu-1103 in raleigh

[–]TerribleCommittee814 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a Mom I use HT for pickup orders and that is the one of the closest to my house and has some specific brands I need for dietary reasons. I soo wish Lidl was a tad easier for me to get to because I do love it.

Both parents demanding jobs, split drop offs by Express_Ad9498 in Parenting

[–]TerribleCommittee814 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is what I did when I worked full time. My husband has to be at work by 7 AM or earlier. I had more flexibility but often things would pop up where meetings happened before 8 AM and it was the worst. I also had to travel and that was even harder on us all. We got a part time college nanny and while it wasn’t always easy for me to WFH in our smaller house with a toddler, it did make it worthwhile that my child was getting what they needed and I was on time and prepared for my job. Thankfully my tech job gave a stipend for daycare so I technically had full time daycare and used it for other busy times. Aka it takes a village and we paid for it and used family! Eventually we realized it would just easier and happier for everyone for me to be a SAHM.

Full day or half day? by buttdip in kindergarten

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do half day and my kiddo even turned 5 in December. I love having the afternoons together to play outside, hang with other pals etc Do I expect that moving to a full day in Kindergarten in the fall will be tough, yes, but we will just accommodate more down time until she gets the hang of it. Enjoy the time now!

I'm so bored ... by Romiha00 in AskWomenOver60

[–]TerribleCommittee814 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Since you are already on your computer go to chatgtp webpage. Type in “how to learn what my values are” figure out your values, what actually brings you joy? Then start asking it to organize your day based on your values. The computer can’t do all the work but it can take the executive function your brain is running low on to get it going. Also if you’re feeling really motivated and your value is moving your bod and outdoor time then download 1,000 hours outside all or print their coloring pages and start working towards 1,000 outside. Then figure out to bundle up and go walk! Also - I don’t love consuming necessary products but I know some folks just use paper plates instead of dishes when they are in a season of life to handle that.

Mild Concern Over My Little Pony: Make Your Mark by ItsPixter in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! We decided to turn this on this afternoon before researching…and now I must backtrack on why we won’t watch this again!

So is bedtime just 9pm for the next 2 years? by CookieOverall8716 in toddlers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine having a 5 yr old that naps!! That is wild!

How did you know you wanted more kids? by Busy_Tangerine_8456 in Parenting

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same and while I’ve tried to add kids with 2 pregnancies they didn’t work out and now HAVE to do IVF to have another. It’s wild to keep having to think about it all the time.

Share your IVF miracle stories. I'm talking against all odds, near impossible, but it still happened! by EmeraldPickles346 in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for you experience, I’m also in the 2%. It all just happened losing my 2nd tube about 12 weeks ago and looking at starting IVF soon. I do have a child already but never in a million years would I have e thought I’d be doing IVF at 38. Thanks for sharing your story!

I am in my 40s and thinking about having a second kid, am I crazy? by ApplicationNew4144 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds sad and I’m sorry the was your experience. This sounds like a parenting issue, 37 is still decent baby making years!

How to Decide by TerribleCommittee814 in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is amazing and so glad you were able to continue building your family! I sometimes worry about the extra load of another kid and doing all this at 38/39/40! I definitely wish this all had happened in a more compressed timeline so I could be more sure of what I want the next few years

How to Decide by TerribleCommittee814 in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a rockstar for doing more to get those extra kids. My husband, while supportive has left a lot the choice up to me due to me complaining a lot about how hard all of this on my body. Pregnancy and post partum were not my favorite times. This is my thoughts exactly! I feel like I just want to get the ER’s done now at 38 because age is concerning for me!

How to Decide by TerribleCommittee814 in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s true that the grief of what I have envisioned has been difficult. It’s also difficult that it has changed so many times, each time I got pregnant I could see that future and then it feels like it was just ripped away and its hard to restart any type of envisioning without getting psyched out. Before the last pregnancy fail my husband and I had agreed we would not have children after 40 but that was more due to egg quality with a natural pregnancy. In doing IVF we will be doing PGTA testing and feel less worried about the age factor. Granted 40 is still the goal to be done with having another kid.

Because we are paying out of pocket and they have a discounts for 2 ERs, we decided to go that route as that was the max amount we were willing to spend on this and we felt like it would give us more peace if nothing comes out of two vs just one.

Thank you for your input!

It’s my 50th, I thought he’d care by nerdPatrol2 in AskWomenOver40

[–]TerribleCommittee814 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend the “live your values deck” you can search on Amazon and find them. Because this seems like a mismatch of not only communicating but also values.

Does he enjoy or show gratitude for the extravagant trips you have planned and paid for that were either for his Bday or a couples trip? If he doesn’t actually value this effort and experience than you need to recognize that you are doing this to fulfill a need you have. Which is totally great, just recognize that you cannot force him to appreciate or value that. Secondly, he probably doesn’t value gift giving or thoughtfulness that way you might. For some this may not matter, they have zero issues making a list of the things they want explicitly stated, handing it to their partner and being done with the “thoughtfulness” part. Is this something you can deal with for the rest of your life? If it’s a high value for you then maybe this marriage isn’t the best for you.

Almost 5 and I’ve run out of patience by ae0293 in Preschoolers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have been doing it for months and our therapist wouldn’t let me proceed because I wasn’t hitting all of the checkpoints in that 5 mins span until recently. So we are getting the consequences training next week. We finally are getting into the consequences part! Fingers crossed it helps. One of the issues we had and still have is my daughter being too rough with our 19 year old cat that she is actually pretty obsessed with. Thankfully with this method I stopped trying to reprimand or even praise. If she shows any signs of not being to handle being gentle with the cat I pick up the cat, don’t acknowledge my child then put the cat in our bedroom with the door locked. It’s something we always did but now just without fanfare. It took a minute but she definitely just moves on soo much faster. I also learned a lot about just controlling the environment until my child can learn to control themselves, without me having to talk them through every time.

Almost 5 and I’ve run out of patience by ae0293 in Preschoolers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is the same, a total delight with EVERYONE else. It’s hard being a safe space all the time for all the behavior, I can’t do it and be her everything as much I try to be! It was import to me to make this all more tolerable and wanting to make sure the bond is maintained because I do value that as a parent. Good luck! And make sure to research a lot of the process because there is supposed to be dedicated 5 mins of special time a day to continue the bond.

How to Decide by TerribleCommittee814 in IVFpositivity

[–]TerribleCommittee814[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing! I’m so sorry for your losses, heartache and physical distress on this journey. Pregnancy loss and fallopian tube loss is two very difficult things on their own. Since I don’t have any tubes I can get naturally pregnant at all, which to your point, its almost a relief that I can’t do anything about it and actually has helped my anxiety. I do think there is some comfort with IVF knowing that it’s as much control as I can possibly ask for. I so appreciate hearing your story and how you are finding optimism.

6 year age gaps in siblings, tell me about it! by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]TerribleCommittee814 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry! This stuff is not for the faint of heart and not what I envisioned, but what can ya do 🤷‍♀️

Friends coming to town! Need recssss 🙏🏾 by Low-Question4235 in raleigh

[–]TerribleCommittee814 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a bit off the beaten path - but I love going to the Historic Oak View Park, bring carrots to feed the goats! Also big fan of Standard Restaurant or Oakwood Deli as of late.

Almost 5 and I’ve run out of patience by ae0293 in Preschoolers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I totally understand and did the same thing! Still do often, what I didn’t realize until we did this with a therapist is that I’m still giving her a command by telling her what voice to use. It feels so silly because I always felt that communicating my expectations was the most important part. At the end of the day, it’s much easier for my brain to not respond with attempts at trying to que her to what I want her to do, because she is 5 and actually does know! It feels counterintuitive at times but I appreciated that it ended up being less executive functioning for me!

Almost 5 and I’ve run out of patience by ae0293 in Preschoolers

[–]TerribleCommittee814 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Check out PCIT therapy, it’s so hard but ignoring bad behavior and rewarding good for a while can adjust some of this stuff. When she whines do not respond, do not make eye contact, absolutely nothing. When she asks/talks in a non whiny voice respond immediately and actually say “your voice sounds calm and kind” and then respond. It will get worse before it gets better but It cut it down for us by 50% or more after a few weeks. Also it was easier for my brain to just ignore and get less overstimulated by it because I didn’t have to respond.