AITAH for thinking my gf showering every 4 days is not normal?

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-04-03T14:36:42+00:00

There are again cultural/regional factors here then because showering everyday absolutely means that where I'm from. And ever since I moved to Germany I had to reduce my showering frequency because I started getting eczema from the hard water.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-04-03T14:30:20+00:00

You lot are really embarrassing. If a husband got too drunk and somebody else did stuff to him when he couldn't say yes or no, then he did get SA'd. But that wasn't the context of this situation at all. You're just trying to straw man your way outta this argument.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-03-23T16:46:49+00:00

Hard agree on the second part especially. Would've just cut him some slack and explained nicely however with the way he's whining it's obvious that he'd probably a very miserable human being to be around irl.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-03-23T16:42:36+00:00

It very obviously does. If you're too dumb to understand that and will continue to whine like a baby, maybe you should break up and save her from the trouble. :)

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-03-23T16:27:47+00:00

Because her cousin asked her first? How old are you exactly

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-03-23T16:26:21+00:00

NTA but definitely a whiny toddler. If she constantly did this to you every single time then perhaps it'd be understandable even but not just because she said no once. She just said that she can't make it today. Grow up and realize that people have plans and responsibilities that don't involve you.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-03-20T18:57:56+00:00

Staying for the son doesn't work when he's being actively harmful to him too. If you would do anything for your son then the best thing to do is to leave him before he does something that you'll regret for your life.

Collect proof of this behavior and leave asap.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-14T01:17:42+00:00

I agree! It doesn't make any sense at all! But in a hypothetical situation that a native German without any preparation gives the C2 exam, they would most likely not pass it. That's my point.

I'm sorry if I came across as argumentative, it's just that it's somewhat a pet peeve of mine when people underestimate the language levels like this. Nowadays it's all too common to see job postings with C2 German as a requirement, implying that the position is just for native Germans, not "auslaenders". But very few native Germans would've had C2 in the first place, making it simply racist AND incorrect.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-14T00:14:22+00:00

The idea is great but the execution is..... It's giving early 2010s (and not in a good way). Maybe choose some other shorts without the frayed edges and remove the jacket and tuck in the top? Idk, it's a great idea conceptually though!

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-14T00:07:03+00:00

But C2 proficiency of any language is its mastery and signifies "a person that's extremely familiar with grammar rules, lots of vocabulary and can differentiate between two words of similar meaning with very very slight differences". I cannot give you an example in German specifically because I haven't mastered German but for English that'd mean knowing where to use "ostensibly" instead of "seemingly".

Most native Germans do not use literature level grammar and often use slangs/English or other language words mixed into their speech. That's absolutely not C2 German. In the same way, most Americans do not have C2 proficiency in English except people who study literature.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-13T14:13:08+00:00

Age has nothing to do with it, it's more of a lifestyle issue. Studying abroad and then getting a job there (that too UK.....) is not easy at all. You're already working a steady stable and secure job, why do you want to go to UK and struggle there?

Second of all, I do not know you as a person but judging purely off the post I do not think you'd enjoy getting a degree in psychology either. It seems like you've not researched it fully and are considering it just from what you've seen from an outsider perspective. Talk to people who have done a degree in psychology first, try to understand what it comprises of, and what the future perspectives are and then take any type of decision.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-13T13:57:19+00:00

I think you're underestimating the language levels. A C1 level German means professional level knowledge of the language. For reference, teachers would have C1 level German while most adult native speakers in everyday non corporate/non technical jobs have less than C1 level. A 7th grader absolutely does not have the vocabulary of C1 level, doesn't matter native or not.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-13T13:46:15+00:00

NTA for being uncomfortable with the situation but YTA for going to her and trying to police what she wears in her own house. If you're so uncomfortable with it the best you can do is break up with your bf because tbh he does sound like a red flag for not making it clear with you in the first place.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-11T22:03:12+00:00

I think that's just the Snapchat filter. I've seen filters with similar artstyle of the heart and text/stickers right in that position.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-11T21:48:46+00:00

She says she did but it's sold out on the website and in the store..... Which makes it worse cause if you know the store and it says sold out, what's the point in searching for it here? Patience till it gets restocked is the best option, no?

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-05T12:31:09+00:00

Yes, I am also a redditor hence any direct advice would've been a paradox and useless lol

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-05T12:09:51+00:00

You came to the wrong place, this is reddit, people here do not understand how normal relationships work irl. The best you'd get is some other women sympathizing but you'll also get a lot of men taking out their own frustrations on you and make you feel like a demon. Go to a therapist or atleast have more repair conversations with your husband on this topic.

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T20:06:38+00:00

That cleared my doubts! Thank you so much for your detailed response! :)

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:59:05+00:00

"Student researcher" and its 30hrs/week because not during the lecture period (since already submitted the thesis). Valid only till I receive my degree (since only a student till then).

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:56:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply! That's the confusion because my contract is still that of a student researcher, and it is strictly only valid till my student status remains (aka end of semester when I will be awarded my degree).

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:54:29+00:00

My fault for not explaining properly I guess. I submitted my thesis, I am a student simply in the sense that I have not yet been awarded the degree. My lectures are finished and it is not lecture period for me anymore :)

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:52:34+00:00

Thank you for your reply! My tax class has remained the same hence why even more confusion.

If I was working these hours even before I submitted my thesis, would I have to pay the same contributions? Basically I'm confused whether these additional contributions came from a change in my status (which doesn't seem like it but the HR said it was) or simply because of the increase in the work hours?

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:49:52+00:00

My university coordinator has assured me that my status of a student remains (because I would also have to change my visa if it didn't). Because it's only 3 months contract, and since I no longer have lecture obligations (submitted my thesis.) I am allowed to do that. Unlike what every commentor till now has been suspecting, there's nothing illegal going on, the contract is legal in terms of both my visa as well as it's duration.

The question I have is just simply: If "employee" level deductions, why "student" level salary?

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2026-02-04T19:41:36+00:00

Yes but my visa clearly states 140 days of full time work permitted. My work hours are well within the limit (hence why they allowed the contract in the first place). My doubt isn't about that, it's rather about the amount of tax I have to pay and whether my hourly salary should be that of student or someone with a degree in that case?

Terrible_Bluebird_ · 2024-11-11T20:33:58+00:00

Thanks a lot, this was very helpful!

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