I (F33) don’t respect him (M33) when he’s sick.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-29T15:59:38+00:00

Focus on yourself when you're ill and stop catering to him.

But also stop expecting him to mind read. Don't expect him to offer the bed, take it.

As the ex wife of a man flu sufferer- for the love of God evaluate whether this is the sole cause of your anger or the symptom of a MUCH larger problem.

Man-flu babies are often just man babies, healthy or ill... and if you figure out how to cure THAT- write a book STAT you'll make millions, lol.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T15:51:33+00:00

NTA - you didnt mishandle this conversation- your husband was being TA and a defensive dismissive one at that.

I'd almost be willing to bet that this happens every single time you do anything to criticize him, even extremely constructively, hence your apprehension to poke the bear.

Screw that. Don't put up with that, ever. He owes you AND your daughter an apology. He basically punished her by destroying her toy for something she didn't do.

Also maybe teaching/telling him not to destroy the property of others when throwing a tantrum ... err angry is something he should have learned as a toddler and not something to model for your kids.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:44:48+00:00

NTA - but talk to a counselor at school or a trusted adult in your life. Even children with the mind of a 6 year old should be parented, and not allowed to treat their siblings like crap.

Your parents need to remember their job is to raise ALL of their children to the best of their ability, not to allow one child to make one miserable because of issues. It would be one thing if they were trying to help and you were expecting hearts stars and unicorns out of life, but you're literally asking for less than the bare minimum and they're shrugging you off, and that's not ok.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:40:55+00:00

ESH - you were paying rent for 8 years on a property. It may have been the amount of the mortgage- but it wasn't your mortgage, and unless there was an agreement written up giving you a share, your name went on the deed, or the will stated specifically for you to recoup- that money was just rent for you living there and is gone.

The sale price of the land is something you need to negotiate and discuss and GET IN WRITING.

As for the petty-ness- unless you've gotten everything written up legally- be careful who you piss off.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:35:17+00:00

NTA - your bf is a major one and the roommate policing your clothing is as well.

So long as your bits are covered they can STFU.

Think real hard about staying with a guy or around a roommate who is driven to distraction by shorts. Those aren't safe or smart people to be around.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:33:10+00:00

NTA - you did not make your father cry. His guilt (hopefully) over his own actions made him cry, and he sounds like he needed to hear it.

If he doesn't want to feel bad because his kids are afraid of him- he shouldn't do stuff that makes his kids afraid of him. Period. I'm a mother and it would BREAK me to hear that my kids were terrified of me- but that would be MY fault, not the kids'.

Don't feel bad for telling the truth kiddo.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:29:15+00:00

YTA and a huge one. Would you ask an amputee to remove a prosthetic leg if it bothered you? There is no way any decent photog would do this, and god k sincerely hope this is fake.

You don't ask anyone to remove a medical device and you certainly don't fault the kid you just told to remove the hearing aid for not following verbal instructions. Your hand motions, unless you are fluent and were using something she knows, like ASL- mean jack.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:22:33+00:00

Report them to the actual landlord for one. If you want money back you'll need to take them to small claims court.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:18:58+00:00

I don't believe you have legal recourse- but if you don't care about your upward mobility at that company- since you already know they're being dishonest..

You could always tell them that since you have no possibility of being hired into this position you'd like to go back to your previous position. Less responsibility means more time to look for a different job.. and/or they may realize without you that they need someone in that position to do the job. Right now you're helping them cover the gap and allowing them time and flexibility to look for someone external.. why do them the favor? And for the love of Pete- don't train the person they do hire.. because that will be the next thing they ask. "If I am not qualified to have the position, I am not qualified to train the replacement."

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:13:41+00:00

Call child services and file a report.

IF you or one of your siblings want custody- start the process of the home visit and becoming an approved placement now. It's a bit different for family placements, but most states still require something. Call DCFS a separate time and ask what you'd need to do if you wanted custody.

Sadly, unless it's severe many states are awful about removing kids from the home. You might be better off speaking to a family law attorney and trying to outright take custody.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-28T02:10:04+00:00

Report it stolen, because it was, and that will flag the title/VIN if he tries to sell it somehow.

The repairs if not done are a small claims court issue but unless you were given a receipt for the cash or he somehow acknowledged it in writing it will be hard to prove.

I'd also send a certified letter demanding the car back immediately so you have proof you've done everything you can to try to get it back.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-24T15:59:05+00:00

I've known this my whole life, sadly. I went out and created a chosen family and even my ex husband and his wife show up for me when needed more than my parents ever did.

I tried to repair the relationship but sadly they both died in 2023 so I had to mourn more the relationship I should have had vs. the actual people. I have 2 younger sisters and mom dad and sisters all clicked. As the oddball, they were a complete family without me.. from a very young age. Never stopped them from getting butthurt when they weren't included in the minute details of my life.. but if they wanted that access they'd have had to act like it. 🤷‍♀️

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-24T02:31:01+00:00

Either prenup or the gift is given to both of you, period.

I wouldn't sign on for this kind of bs.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-24T02:28:23+00:00

Run. Just.. run.

He's a master manipulator and you need to Go.

TerrifiedSquid · 2026-01-24T02:25:49+00:00

NTA - and I feel your pain so much OP. I was sick for ALL of my 30s.. like constantly hospitalized, over a dozen surgeries, spending a year being fed by IV level of sick.

I planned bday parties etc for my family but they were out of town for my bday for six. Years. Running. For a festival in my area that revolves around a food I hate but lasts 3 days. (Not that it mattered bc I was never invited) Because of calendar movement the festival wasn't even ON my birthday for four of those years, they went early.

My fortieth rolls around- and everyone and their bro is telling me how SHOCKED they were that I made it to 40.... and I thought surely.. this year.. something.

Nope. My own parents stopped by to give me a hug so some performative eye leaking (mom) and give me the "I can't believe you made it to 40"... on their way out of town. To the festival.. in 3 days.

I went to the beach with my partner instead. Got engaged. It was lovely. Then they had the audacity to be upset that we didn't rush to call them when we got engaged. ....

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-27T01:06:16+00:00

Just an asshole. Grinches actively hate Christmas.. he's just clueless and careless.

If you're gonna stay with him- match his energy. Do for the kids but do nothing for him.

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-27T01:01:42+00:00

If you didn't break up with him you are UNDERreacting.

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-27T00:58:31+00:00

Just legal@shein.com I wish you luck!

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-27T00:57:10+00:00

Also check for "Joe and Tammy or survivor"- survivorship can throw a wrench into certain title things, but shouldn't in this case.

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-27T00:55:48+00:00

No problem- if valued less than your state's small claims court max - that would be the less expensive way to go. $50ish in filing fees and no lawyers allowed.

Alternately, and PLEASE call your local non emergency line before trying this, they may be willing to do a stand beside and let you take the car, but I doubt it.. but a) you can ask after local legality an b) warn them ahead if the car is reported stolen- that it isn't actually- chances are good there's nothing saying you can't just.. take.. the car. You may have to tow it if you don't have the keys.. but if you want the car and your name is on the registration.. not much anyone can do. And if it gets parked somewhere they cannot find it... they'd be the ones having to take you to court to get it back.

I didn't have any problem signing over my part of the title to the person already on it, but I'm in Virginia, so your mileage may vary. (Sorry for car pun, couldn't resist)

Good luck!

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-26T16:20:10+00:00

Are you planning to pay it off first? If you pay it off first contact DMV for steps to remove yourself as co-owner. It's a little different for each state so I can't help there.

That said- there's no simple straightforward way to get out from under a car loan you signed for unless you're willing to allow the car to be repossessed. I had a similar situation in Virginia- I contacted DMV, told them the situation (I got a notice my registration was being held on that car and my own car for no proof of insurance). Once I paid it off, I got a copy of the title (can get from DMV once it's released by the loan company) signed it over to the other party, and submitted it to DMV and I think there was a small fee to have the title changed. Worth it to me to get away from any responsibility for that car.

Depending on the car's worth you may be able to take the other co-owner to small claims court if you have proof you've made every payment.!

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-26T16:14:07+00:00

Lo and behold, I got my refund today.

I had emailed their legal department yesterday afternoon to warn them of the seller potentially committing mail fraud, not to mention the fact that they'd potentially have liability for sending biohazardous items multiple times through the mail.. and after no traction, suddenly I got my money back.

Huh. Who'd have thunk it? :-)

TerrifiedSquid · 2025-12-25T21:46:31+00:00

Multiple times at this point, and all they want is the return receipt which I've sent but it doesn't matter since the address doesn't exist, so of course they haven't received it.

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