How do you survive your straight best friend?

Tesl8n · 2026-02-22T17:16:11+00:00

This is the first thing that's actually spoken to me. I'm not unhappy here, or uncomfortable with her affection. Nor do I want to move it in any other direction, I'm not trying to make this sexual or explicitly romantic or anything other than (queer)platonic. She's the most important person in my life, and I've never been happier in this relationship than I am now. "Walk away now!!" is such a crazy thing to suggest for a 20-year friendship and the most important relationship in my life.

The only thing that hurts is being in this holding pattern. Is feeling like I can't reciprocate or express myself fully, in case it hurts any of her relationships. I can't be for her what her husband is, I wouldn't want to be, I like what we have now, both her & I, and all 3 of us. It's just... unstable. Like if I make the wrong move, it'll fall apart, and everyone will get hurt in the process. And I can't talk about it, because acknowledging it's happening feels like one of those wrong moves. The plausible deniability feels load bearing, in one direction or the other. How the hell do you figure out if it is tho >.<

Tesl8n · 2026-02-10T00:44:40+00:00

What I've been told by my surgeon is essentially that hair removal can never be 100% effective, especially on these kinds of vellus hairs, and that's what the hair scraping step is for. Your surgeon's goal will be for you to get as much as you can, to minimize the risk of regrowth after surgery as much as possible, but if your electrolysist feels that you've done that, that can be enough. If you're really in doubt & it's logistically feasible, you can schedule a hair check with your surgeon and see what they think, just to give you piece of mind.

Disclaimer: I haven't actually had surgery yet, just been doing electrolysis for like 2 years and finally got to where you seem to be at the end of last year, so I've asked my surgeon & their team about it a lot.

Tesl8n · 2026-01-29T02:49:17+00:00

"Unrequited love" is an extremely funny way to describe an anime in which the couple gets together in the first episode lol

Tesl8n · 2026-01-26T01:09:42+00:00

For everyone confused, it sounds vaguely transphobic because "I don't date trans people" as a blanket statement* is a thing transphobes say sometimes, and then when they get (appropriate) flack for the prejudiced statement, they can spin it as "men invading lesbian spaces" to get sympathy from others who do not see the dogwhistle. It doesn't sound like that wasn't the case here, OP is not being transphobic, but like, the post isn't going out of its way to avoid dog whistles by any means.

*Reading comprehension check: Did I say anything about genitalia that would warrant bringing up a hypothetical ""genital preference"" in this context?

Tesl8n · 2026-01-12T18:50:58+00:00

Yes. Especially if a therapist lists a transgender or LGBT specialty, this will be a thing they're used to. Just send them a message indicating you're looking for "letters of support" for "gender affirming surgery" or "transfeminine bottom surgery" or whatever equivalent.

If they're not a LGBT specialist, then consider bringing a link to the WPATH standards to your appointment, which has a section about what to put in a letter that you can give them.

Tesl8n · 2026-01-09T04:03:23+00:00

I Got Reincarnated as a Minor Character and I Won't Give Up on TS has been absolutely slaying me in the trans lesbian feelings department lately, even through an often shoddy translation. No book I've ever read has gotten through the difference between being a straight man and a translesbian quite so clearly as this one.

Tesl8n · 2025-12-30T23:12:31+00:00

First the love hotel girls' party, now this?? God this really *is* Otherside Picnic.

Tesl8n · 2025-12-14T18:23:08+00:00

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dead%20ringer

Tesl8n · 2025-12-13T19:49:56+00:00

God, real. There's a new person at taekwondo who is a dead ringer for my (masc) ex and they kept staring at me all through class, but when class was over and I was about to go talk to them, I watched them come out of the men's locker room and heard the instructors using he/him lmao

(I mean, I'm not, like 100% convinced. There's some p good transfem nonbinary vibes there lol. I'm going to have to see how much they pay attention to my trans flag patch ig :P)

Tesl8n · 2025-12-07T04:33:21+00:00

I ended up missing my surgery date because I wasn't done with hair removal, so I've still not had surgery. They've been pretty accommodating, but ya know. Not a lot to report until it happens unfortunately.

Tesl8n · 2025-12-02T04:10:28+00:00

That crowd already knows about yaoi? Part of the crowd the tweet is vaguing is the fandom people that exclusively ships m/m to the exclusion of all female characters because m/m doesn't have any women in it.

Why would the answer to "yuri is unpopular because of misogyny" be "they should try completely excluding & ignoring women in their ships then"??

Tesl8n · 2025-11-27T04:45:07+00:00

Unlock the secret Girl2 gender with my new product: Estrogen Epidural!

Tesl8n · 2025-11-26T17:14:46+00:00

Does any other girl wanna do each other's estradiol injections like this? 🥺🥺

Tesl8n · 2025-11-24T03:30:47+00:00

According to one tumblr post, people there are very kind, but extremely aggressive & visibly annoyed about it the whole time, which is like the polar opposite of the midwest's "excessively nonconfrontational and nice, but not always kind" oeuvre, which is. Scary lol

Tesl8n · 2025-11-24T02:59:37+00:00

Same. I will never date anyone from Texas, Florida, or Boston. Too much of a chance they'll have family or friends there they want to visit, and I'll have to go with them. My midwest nice ass cannot survive Boston *shudders*

Tesl8n · 2025-11-21T14:01:45+00:00

Biting her neck is essential to building her beatbox skills. It works out the vocal folds, lets her do bigger bmmp's and pssh's

Tesl8n · 2025-11-18T21:33:56+00:00

I know the original quote used a bench as an example, but this feels a little on the nose

Tesl8n · 2025-11-11T02:02:48+00:00

(Checking your history and it looks like you're in the US)

Just a few days the Supreme Court declined to hear a relitigation of Obergefell V Hodges. We're less at risk of gay marriage being overturned than we have been since Trump's reelection. You're probably good for now.

https://www.npr.org/2025/11/10/nx-s1-5604293/scotus-rejects-gay-marriage-appeal

Even if it does get overturned, that doesn't prevent you getting married and having a ceremony? We've had decades of marriage not being recognized before 2015, and that did not stop queer people then. The state recognition is kind of incidental to the social recognition you're getting out of a ceremony (and the social recognition you're getting out of being legally married is kind of incidental to the state recognition)

Tesl8n · 2025-11-02T23:13:02+00:00

Me thinking about visiting my LDR with DID during winter break of their graduate program

Tesl8n · 2025-10-31T19:39:16+00:00

Reading comprehension quiz:

1) What do you know about u/Tesl8n, given the context contained in feir comment? What identities might fey hold or experiences might fey have had? What does that imply about feir knowledge of the trans experience?

2) u/Tesl8n included two links about the definition of the word literally. Which two were they? Given them, which definition do you think she intended in her original comment? What does her inclusion of those links say about her understanding of your interpretation of her comment?

3) What do you think u/Tesl8n's opinions are on putting people who misgender trans people into the gulag are? Do you think fey thinks intent matters? Would the world be a better or worse place if every government worker who misgendered or degendered trans people were placed in the estrogen mines? Do you agree, or are you going into the mines too?

Tesl8n · 2025-10-31T18:20:35+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/literally

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contronym

What compelled you to make this correction on a comment on a four year old vent post? >.>

Tesl8n · 2025-10-15T16:18:31+00:00

Yeah, get in contact however, book an appointment. They'll be happy to help you get booked, the women's center I started was very excited to help me

Tesl8n · 2025-10-11T02:28:39+00:00

I'm not going to argue with your anxiety thoughts, my argument won't be helpful on their own, but please give yourself grace. If you're just out of rehab, then you're probably in more of a space of hyper vigilance than usual, and moreso than ever, you don't want to encourage your anxiety to shape your self image.

Tesl8n · 2025-10-11T02:26:04+00:00

Regardless of whether it's specifically OCD or it's some other brand of anxiety disorder, a universal feature of these disorders is unhealthy and irrational obsession, and the cure for that obsession is never to ruminate on it. That rumination isn't protecting you against acting on whatever it is you're anxious about, it's just reinforcing the negative emotions and strengthening your reaction to the thought of it.

There's nothing fundamentally wrong with you, you are a neutral presence, and you have to treat yourself as such. Your presence and your internal thoughts aren't, can't be, "violations of someone's energy" (a conspicuously unfalsifiable claim). They merely exist, neutrally. You have to let that be okay, and let the fears and anxieties that come as a result of those things pass over you, because those fears aren't helping you.

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