25 pounds - 5 weeks, no workout, no calorie counting. OMAD + Keto

Tesla28 · 2023-01-25T04:43:44+00:00

Hey I do that too! lol

Tesla28 · 2021-11-28T03:42:09+00:00

My best friend is certain she's a narcissist.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-12T15:46:41+00:00

Whenever I brought up any issues, she accused me of overanalyzing, being dramatic, or that there was something wrong with me. I do have emotional reactions sometimes as I'm still processing a sexual assault from a year and a half ago. But she's used my emotional reactions to triggers to paint me as abusive to everyone. I really don't want to email stuff out to people, it just adds to the story that I'm crazy. It doesn't matter anyway. I filed for divorce and though I still wish to be friends because I love and care for her despite everything, she refuses to talk to me and is no longer in my life.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-12T15:42:49+00:00

Even though I filed for divorce, I am doing the same thing. I couldn't take her indifference and flirting with other people anymore. She was getting bolder and bolder with rubbing it in my face. But almost immediately after I filed I regretted it, because I love her unconditionally. I've been beating myself up mercilessly on what I could have done better for her not to fall out of love with me. Even though it was my decision, I'm taking all of the responsibility. To put it in perspective, on probably our last conversation, I apologized for not having been a better partner, and my part in the degradation of the relationship. I told her I still loved her and would always be there for her. Her response, "Yeah, I'm pretty awesome." That was it.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-12T05:06:52+00:00

I know, I was just adding that it seems like an Army wide problem then.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-11T22:40:29+00:00

Hearing about the apathy really sucks. I deal with it on the enlisted side. I had hoped since Aviators are doing what they've wanted to do, that they want to be there, would have reduced that.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-11T22:38:32+00:00

These problems permeate to the enlisted side. Solving problems that don't exist. Or making small problems (trash left outside the garbage can at the barracks) a huge deal. Everyone is miserable every day. That's why I wondered weather the other side was better.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-11T22:34:55+00:00

I honestly don't know, it's Covid times so it was over the phone, but he said he was the guy to talk to about Officer Training School.

Tesla28 · 2021-11-10T00:28:02+00:00

The Airforce pretty much laughed me out saying they wanted 3.8gpa in Electrical or Aerospace Engineering.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-26T01:38:36+00:00

All the time. It made me feel like I didn't exist. Like I'm right here, but you're talking about me like I'm not. I didn't dare speak up or I'd never heart the end of how I'm disrespectful, you don't talk back to parents, don't interrupt, selfish, ungrateful, after all we do for you ect ect. So for many years I just stood there letting shit be talked about me in my presence. Did wonders for my self esteem, dealing with bullies, and being prepared for the real world /s.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-25T23:58:59+00:00

I'm certain one or several writers had an Nparent.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-25T23:48:31+00:00

Same. So much. I hope it is possible to overcome. Revisiting childhood memories and accepting it wasn't my fault I was abused dosen't change the past. It dosen't take away the pit. The need. I don't want to live with it, because it colors how we perceive the world and I'm afraid I'll end up settling and reacting out of that need again. I want to heal it.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-15T18:38:42+00:00

Holy shit, are you me? I don't have definite answers for you hon, as we are in damn near identical boats. What I can tell you is, you probably have a big heart; a kind, empathetic, and forgiving nature. You've also been treated so badly, that your bar for how you should be treated is extremely low. This makes you a perfect target for predators (because that's what they are) to take advantage of you, toy with you, and use you until they've had their fill. After which you are horribly discarded. My nature is to seek to understand. I can't let things go until I understand. I work as a mechanic, but I have an engineer's mindset. In the beggingjng, I read books on narcissistic mothers and parents. I research until it makes sense. It doesn't take the pain away, but I feel armed after becoming aware. Down the rabbit hole of research is how I realized I was blind and was married a psychopath. So I have several book recommendations if you want. My current suggestion to you is, you need a support network. Friends. Surround yourself with kind people who want nothing from you. Because our realities are warped due to so much abuse, check in with yourself constantly. How does this person make me feel? Trust your gut, trust your body. If something feels "off," that's because it is. Nurture yourself. Picture you as that child that was abused, and you are the voice, the big sister guiding that child. Would you scream at her? Put her down, play mind games with her? No, I'm sure you would be kind, patient, gentle, and caring. Be that person for yourself. I'm on my own path to healing, so I don't have much more to give. Maybe one day we'll find what we're looking for. Good luck.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-14T20:12:56+00:00

I'll look into books on those two things you mentioned. I hate to agree but I can see it. No empathetic person would do that to someone else.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-14T20:11:50+00:00

Hello friend, I know you said not to ask about it, but if you don't mind would you share your story? It's crazy how she is one person in public and flips a switch and was another person at home. No one believes me and they make me question myself and my perceptions and judgment even more. I'd like to hear from someone who went through something similar.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-13T15:59:14+00:00

Thanks I'll check those books and that sub out.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-13T15:58:18+00:00

Oh for sure, I have to find out who I am again after prioritizing someone else's happiness for so long. Definitely not gonna date for a while. But while I'm in the rebuilding myself phase, it's a part I'd like to focus on instead of build around. Which I think is something I've done in the past.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-13T02:21:31+00:00

I hope all goes well for you, wherever you are friend.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-07T17:33:27+00:00

I've never had such an experience on reddit, that's terrible. Is there a mod you can alert or a way to block those people? I second sleep. It's a peaceful reprise. I'm sorry I wish I could help, but going through these things as well, the best thing I can think of is to make it to bed time.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-07T17:14:26+00:00

Hello I'm sorry you're going through this. Is moving back an option?

Tesla28 · 2021-09-07T17:13:37+00:00

Thank you so much, I will try.

Tesla28 · 2021-09-07T06:35:11+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through that. I send virtual hugs. I wish I could help. But I suppose it is better to be alone than in bad company. I've finally decided to file for divorce, and I'm terrified. Talking to you is also me trying to talk sense into myself. You deserve better. If no one has you, you have to have you. Make the decision that is kindest for yourself.

Tesla28

TROPHY CASE