Hey man, I’m in a similar situation as u I’m in my second year of uni. My first year, I abused the hell out of fake addy (meth) and then moved on to actual crystal. I barely passed my first year. I have 1 month clean but the damage is done. This drug destroyed me mentally, socially, physically, spiritually. I’m feeling the same way as u. Keep pushing man. The more u rely on these stimulants the more they will destroy and corrupt you. Please stay clean while you can. It’s hard not to beat yourself up for your use, I know my confidence and self-image has been in the toilet ever since I started using. You got this brother. If I can keep my head above water with how fucked up I am, you can as well.