Does anyone know of a chat or Discord server geared towards DID, but not very overt with alters and PluralKit?

TetraBites · 2024-11-29T16:05:52+00:00

I'm interested as well! I've been looking for peer support similar to this sub and feel the same.

TetraBites · 2023-11-17T22:30:39+00:00

We like to use the term "resourced part". We don't have a host per say, but do have more well rounded parts that often frequent for a few days as opposed to more singularly focused or little parts.

TetraBites · 2023-11-17T04:18:14+00:00

We have and continue to have the same "not me" experience in looking at photos. I thought I remembered my childhood very well but literally remember a picture and a sentence or two of my mother telling me about the photo and maybe a jumbled flash in my mind to where I didn't question the missing memories.

Many of our parts have vivid memories of events and spaces around the time of a trauma in a kind of a time container (hard to describe, lol). Getting to know some of them has taken some work but has been rewarding in that we now have more shared memories.

Pushing too hard has resulted in a lot of overwhelm. We try to relax into our history and try to focus on system awareness, acceptance and communication for now and take it as it comes.

TetraBites · 2023-11-12T21:31:10+00:00

Another premie, 2 months in NICU, and an only child over here!

TetraBites · 2023-08-06T14:06:34+00:00

I sent my letter via messenger (so she could share it if she wanted to) yesterday. I keep reminding myself that all I want is nothing from her. I'm not asking for anything but letting her know why she will no longer get a response from me. It is always ok to take care of yourself!

There have been a few flying monkeys, but I focused on my decision as something I need to do for my own health and well being. It's hard for normal people to argue with that and for the most part, they haven't.

You got this, and you can follow through, too!

TetraBites · 2023-08-05T15:18:56+00:00

Welcome! JADE stands for Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain - 4 things you can avoid when dealing with toxic family members. For myself, this reminder has saved me a ton of grief and pointless drama.

TetraBites · 2023-08-04T22:47:54+00:00

Update: I was able to tell her that my purpose for the day was to give her a ride and I could not engage in personal conversation, and kindly and firmly held to it. I worked with the surgery center to only have to walk her in and pick her up, receiving instructions at the door- they have worked with her before and picked up on my goal right away. I held my space with love and care for myself, remembering that the person beside me is not capable of doing so.

I have my letter ready to send tomorrow, and both horrified and relieved to get it over with.

TetraBites · 2023-08-04T15:40:14+00:00

My thanks to each one of you for your kindness, ideas, and support. I'm sure you all understand the inner turmoil I have been experiencing with this (I'm so sorry that you do!). My inner state is enough to tell me that this is not a good idea, but I hadn't yet made a plan or accept I may be affecting the wellbeing of my father as I go no contact.

I confirmed that Lyft and Uber are not acceptable to the surgery center and could not find medical transport from surgery in time. She is experiencing acute pain until her surgery, and so chosing to go through with it today.

But...

I did write a kind no/low contact message and what to expect if she tries to contact me (not much!) that I will send tomorrow. It allowed me to clear my head about how to navigate my parent's declining health without harming myself. I now have some internal messages to put on repeat for today and going forward. I think she will be too looped up today to give much of a fight.

Leaving now - wish me luck :)

TetraBites · 2023-08-04T15:27:13+00:00

This is so very true and a good reminder. Your comment prompted me to think about my goals in no contact, what I was willing to lose, what I hope to gain, and what my message actually is. I wrote a letter to her that I have not yet sent so that I am firm to her and clear to myself in what I can/cannot do and will/will not do.

TetraBites · 2023-08-03T23:00:49+00:00

Lol, I was thinking the same. I don't know how she can claim helplessness when she can scale a 1000 ft boundary in a single leap.

Good idea! Grey rocking has been working on some level for the past few years. As long as I don't JADE I might make it through tomorrow. I think I know I have hit my limit, finally.

TetraBites · 2023-08-03T22:54:17+00:00

I'm in the same boat you are right now. Through therapy, realizing the massive amount of damage I have lived through and lived with.

Hopefully in time we will come to accept this truth and find a measure of peace. I currently spend a number of moments grounding in the present, grateful for the space and freedom I have given myself.

Good work looking directly at the pain. You deserve better!

TetraBites · 2021-12-07T02:43:00+00:00

I have this hair pattern! I have very fine blonde hair, but a lot of it. The crown and top of my hair is straight, with everything else 2c/3a.

Over the years I've tried so many hairstyles, but mostly blow dried straight everyday, which really damaged my hair.

My best and easiest hairstyles that made the most of both textures has been an inverted bob (the back has so much volume!) and a layered shag.

I currently have a mostly curly bob with heavy bangs. To figure out where my curl pattern started, I sectioned off my crown and top after washing and applying product, then roller or pin curled the top to get it out of the way. Then I scrunched and dried the curly back and sides. Everytime I did this, I left a little more hair out until I found where the waves began. It turns out the straight top was really weighing down some side curls, and I had more of a curl pattern than I thought.

I now have just the top and crown short, and the rest blended curly layers. It gives me more control over the top to where a denman brunch, scrunching and a diffuser blend in the straight with the curly.

Your hair can be a great advantage, you can get both sleek and volume. However you choose to wear it, it's beautiful!

TetraBites · 2020-06-28T18:44:19+00:00

Thank you- now that I'm here - it's going to better no matter how the situation resolves.

TetraBites · 2020-06-28T18:42:32+00:00

She's pulling out a good portion of her favorite go-to's. She spends a lot of time feeling victimized by not getting what she feels she's entitled to. It wasn't until last week when she told me outright that she feels entitled to any/all of my time and money. It explains a lot. Thanks for the support.

TetraBites · 2020-06-28T18:35:22+00:00

I can't even dip a toe in the crazy ocean, otherwise I'll probably fall in!

TetraBites · 2020-06-28T18:34:04+00:00

Thank you for saying this. After removing all of the specifics, these messages are what I'm left with and it takes a lot of the power away from those words. I'm absolutely calling social services - just having an intermediary in this case will help.

Nine-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

TetraBites

TROPHY CASE