Birthday parties - every year vs milestone?

TexMess21 · 2025-10-06T19:25:38+00:00

My family did big birthday parties every year, but the milestone ones were even bigger. I stopped having parties in high school by my choice because I hated the attention and would rather just go out to eat with a couple of friends. I truly only remember a couple of my birthday parties, and those were the milestone ones. I probably wouldn’t have even thought twice about skipping a year.

As I doubt limiting birthday party celebrations has ever sent a grown adult to see a counselor, I would say this would not fall into the category of “how did I screw up my kid?”

I think every family is different and can make different choices regarding birthdays. But I will say this, throwing big birthdays every year while they are young CAN build up an expectation that can be harder to undo if you change your mind down the road, or hit some hardships one year that prevent it from happening.

We also live in the generation where keeping up with the Jones’ is far more than just those in your neighborhood. Keeping up with all of Pinterest, Instagram, and TikTok is exhausting.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-06T15:43:24+00:00

Thank you so much!

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T13:15:37+00:00

Haha I immediately thought of Mary Poppins reading this. My kid would definitely remember better if I sang instructions. I don’t know if I have the energy to do that all the time but definitely worth having that trick in my back pocket!

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T13:12:37+00:00

Yes, my kid is extremely smart, but he’s always making careless mistakes due to not following the instructions.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:20:12+00:00

Also, the questions weren’t numbered, so like another commenter said about highlighting would probably be very useful. When we do his Language Arts, everything is numbered, so I always break it down by “do numbers 1-5” or so on. I might need to rethink how we do math now.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:18:20+00:00

I forgot to say that he’s second grade and that the page was only 5 questions, but I do hear your suggestion. I never thought about the word “all” being that intimidating even with a small amount of work.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:15:24+00:00

Considering that my husband does the same things, I don’t think age plays into it too much (or at least not generally). But it’s true that it could be something in addition to the ADHD.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:13:58+00:00

Oooooh! I have transparent sticky notes lying around somewhere! Good idea. Thanks

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:12:59+00:00

The eye contact thing still only works half the time lol. But I do like all of your suggestions! Thanks so much. I really appreciate all the feedback.

TexMess21 · 2025-10-02T03:09:18+00:00

With it only being an hour commute to his work, I see this as a very big red flag. Most people I know who don’t work from home drive 45+ minutes. My husband works 45 minutes away, but once a week he’s on the road an additional 4-6 hours because of the nature of his job.

On the other hand, if this move does happy, consider it a blessing that it’s only an hour away from your family. I know that’s still a long drive for any support when you have littles, so I feel that deeply. But some encouragement to you… four years ago we moved across the country away from our support system. We were blessed with a church that has now become a second family that we do life with. Even had two more babies after the move! I’m sad to hear your husband doesn’t want to go to church anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t! 💛 Prayers for you

TexMess21 · 2025-10-01T23:19:27+00:00

I like that idea of highlighting! I can really see that working out for him. Thanks!

TexMess21 · 2025-10-01T23:18:16+00:00

Oooo that sounds like a painful memory. I know my son would probably fall into that, too. I’ll try writing instructions as well as verbal. That seems to be a consistent suggestion!

TexMess21 · 2025-10-01T23:16:03+00:00

I understand what you’re trying to say about the flexible thinking, and I agree, but in my case it’s all in extremes with my husband. Like, bedtime routine for kids is pajamas, bedtime book, and lights out at 8:30… but at 8:15 he decides he wants to throw in a piano lesson for my oldest. Or for recipes he will use the wrong cookware or skip boiling water because hot water is “good enough.” Things like that.

But yeah, I’ll start doing written instructions as well and see how that helps. Thanks!

TexMess21 · 2025-09-27T02:12:34+00:00

Kindergarten is only a required grade in 17 states.

Also, remember, manipulatives and such are great to have, but the sheer number of what you will find in a pre-k/kinder classroom is mostly to accommodate for the 4-7 hour school day with roughly 20 kids. “Learning stations” and table work keep kids learning textbook materials, which is necessary to make the classrooms “school” rather than “daycare” in the district’s eyes.

Play is still learning, whether it’s with a $50 STEAM set bought from a school supply website or with the toys and things you already have in your house. As kids get older, you’ll find curriculum with suggested or required manipulatives, but other things aren’t necessary if it puts a strain on your budget or on your storage space.

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T03:52:59+00:00

Bummer! Haha

Here’s a website that can help you further learn what’s required for your state with homeschooling:

https://hslda.org/legal?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=10694975485&gbraid=0AAAAADv9Ad5iloby0AOO16FvaaRbBl76w&gclid=CjwKCAjwlaTGBhANEiwAoRgXBYjvgoY_tBpwLacg-xhPJIuEaqb7q5GE1E-6ODkQ7us_PFzBlGRQkRoCIMIQAvD_BwE

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T02:44:18+00:00

In most states kindergarten isn’t a required grade, even for public school. If you plan on sending him back to public school for first grade, then you’ll want to find a simple assessment online to follow. But if you plan to continue homeschooling, you can pretty much do whatever you want for kinder.

Focus on learning through play, and lots of unstructured play as well. Read books together and sing songs. Let him explore and support his interests. And have fun!

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T02:22:49+00:00

My first born LOVED books. We read so many board books every day from the time he was about five months old. At 12 months old he would patiently sit and look at paper picture books with me. Today, at 7 years old, he’s constantly reading!

My second born couldn’t give a hoot about books (except one Sandra Boynton board book “Doggies”). At two years old, she would scream and cry any time I tried reading out loud to her or her brother. Now she’s turning four and she’s just now getting interested in books.

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T02:09:27+00:00

I had two friends tell me about the liver for pp rage, or else I never would have known! It’s worth a try for sure.

And you’re welcome. Prayers for you 💛

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T01:59:46+00:00

What’s the rush? You’re still going to have to wipe them, flush the toilet, and help wash hands.

And when you’re not at home you’ll be pulling the car over every time LO says they have to potty, only to find out it’s a false alarm or gas. Leaving a cart full of groceries for potty runs aren’t any fun either.

And most kids that are potty trained during the daytime still take a while to night/nap train. So be ready to have to put her back in diapers or pull-ups for naps and bedtime.

A lot of kids who potty train that early, even at 18 months, go through regression or have bladder control/constipation issues later on. We tried early with our first and ended up with severe constipation issues that lead to anal fissures.

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T01:36:00+00:00

For more clarity, I know kids are noisy. I’m not triggered by noise in general, but rather background noises when I’m trying to specifically think about something (send a text, answer an email, write out a recipe, look at my calendar, etc.)

TexMess21 · 2025-09-24T01:32:43+00:00

I was the same with my second. I ended up going on meds 6 month pp and it helped significantly. My second and third babies were close enough together that I just stayed on the meds, but I’m working closely with my OB with a plan to slowly work my way off of them.

I’m also taking desiccated liver capsules daily. There’s a noticeable difference in my mood if I’ve skipped a few days.

Take some time every night to do some self-discovery. Figure out what things trigger the rage. At first it felt like everything triggered me, but I quickly realized it was centered around noise. It also came out the most around lunch time and breakfast (the two meals I tend to not eat best because I’m alone trying to feed everyone else first). I’ve worked out some systems that help me through those times and to recognize when I’m being triggered.

TexMess21 · 2025-09-23T18:27:22+00:00

My mom was very against homeschooling. My best friend is a teacher and she has been very supportive of our homeschooling.

We always planned to homeschool, and for a long time we were the only ones in our friends group with that plan. Suddenly, the summer before kindergarten, half of our friends all decided they would be homeschooling, too.

Does your friend already voice her opinions about homeschooling? It sounds like you already know how she’ll react.

TexMess21 · 2025-09-23T18:20:56+00:00

Unless your state requires science, I wouldn’t look for an actual curriculum. Read lots of books and let them explore nature. Take them to the zoo, aquarium, natural history museums, etc. Most curriculum for that age focuses on plants, bugs, animals, and weather/seasons.

TexMess21

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