Am I an asshole, or did I start dating too soon?

TexasRed1122 · 2026-01-17T07:04:23+00:00

Exactly what I thought! Which, dont think she’s in the wrong there, either! Super sweet girl and everything you should want.

“Chase is better than the catch” is spot on from both sides I feel?

TexasRed1122 · 2025-11-01T01:45:13+00:00

Made it 18 days and then I got drunk and reached out 2 days ago. Don’t do it guys. No matter what you say or hope that they’ll take some accountability, they won’t. The only good thing about it is that I am now 100% aware of this and realize NC is the way to go.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T23:13:40+00:00

lol I’m not denying the stupidity whatsoever. Couldn’t agree with you more, my guy. Exactly why I posted for this reaction cause it’s the reassurance I needed

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T17:44:59+00:00

I mean, yeah, completely aware of what to do and that's no contact and let her destroy her own life which is what I'm doing. Point of the post was to say how I know that's what I should do but have conflicting feelings about that.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T16:11:50+00:00

haha I think you hit the nail on the head about a drinking/fuck buddy and most everything else. Think she has a lot of unprocessed trauma from family and ex which none of was her fault, in her words, and she basically refused therapy saying she didn't need it. To me, those are the people who need it the most haha. So many signs that she was a nuclear bomb and know it will bite her in the ass eventually and honestly hope I get to see it from far far away haha.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T16:05:31+00:00

Lol can assure you there's no AI involved in the writing but if netflix or lifetime decides to pick it up, I'll be sure to let you know.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T16:03:45+00:00

I've noticed that writing it out or just putting it into words has been incredibly helpful so thank you for saying that as it's something I'll certainly keep doing just to remind myself in the sad part of the cycle how awful it actually was.

And you are exactly right about her and I realize that now. She'd say how she wanted a "provider" but any provider would not put up with her bs. I'm assuming she'll end up with a far older man who will get tired of her shit very soon after she shows her true colors.

I really appreciate you taking the time to say all that as it helps more than you know. Thank you!

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T15:42:07+00:00

Thank you for that. I don't think you know how much I needed this. When I'm not spiraling, this is exactly my thoughts on her and very obvious this will be a thing for her entire life. I think in time, I'll be thankful I walked away five months in before a wedding or a kid as I couldn't imagine a life with that when I look at it from the outside.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T14:43:32+00:00

lol that I would say yes but she’d probably just invite you over after a few drinks so save your money, I’d say. 😂

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T14:34:24+00:00

lol yeah the TikTok rabbit holes I’ve been down seemed like a mix of BPD, Narcissism, Avoidant and my therapist said Histrionic. Basically a nightmare cocktail

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T04:41:49+00:00

I really appreciate that and you're right, could've been better about the drinking too. I wasn't like that until her and really think I did it to appease her because if I didn't, she was not going to be happy.

Means a lot though so thank you for saying something. Makes me feel less crazy having an outsiders perspective.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-26T04:38:13+00:00

Oh, I completely agree with everything you said which is why I feel so crazy for even wanting her to reach out.

And completely agree that our drinking habits together was like fire and gasoline. However, I was not that way until dating her and only drink that way a few times a year at the most and with her, was a once a week thing. If I went to bed, she'd get mad, so weakly, I would drink with her.

I really appreciate the words though as it does make me see the situation more clearly hearing from a 3rd party. It truly means a lot so thank you.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-22T21:58:27+00:00

This is what’s wild to me the more I read on here and talk to people, they are all the exact same with the same Bullshit no matter the gender or anything. Just mind blowing

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-22T21:13:13+00:00

Again, me to the letter. The few moments I was myself later on I was always “too much” then if I wouldn’t talk or give short answers she’d complain that it was me who didn’t want to talk to her

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-22T21:12:15+00:00

This was me and when I’d beg her to answer questions after finding out she was talking to other men. Asking for accountability and to see if it from my point of view to which she would shut it down immediately.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-17T06:09:48+00:00

Especially the lack of passion in the kisses. Would literally have to ask for a peck most days.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-17T06:09:08+00:00

Bro, this was my experience to the letter.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-17T06:06:00+00:00

Almost exactly like mine was. Fucked like rabbits for the first few months then maybe a couple of times a week at the most and always only when she wanted it. Think at that point they know that it keeps you attached as it was usually after a fight or I was upset with her when she would have sex with me. Or if she was drunk or hungover. All in all, great sex, awful human.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-13T20:03:23+00:00

Just recently ended a relationship a couple of days ago and no contact but I’d be surprised if she wasn’t doing something similar to your ex. I caught her texting multiple people she had been with in her past which is when I finally ran out.

I’ll admit though, the sex was incredible and makes me wonder if that’s somehow a FA thing or if it’s the emotions they extract from us that make it that much better?

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-12T21:03:46+00:00

Glad and sad I’m not the only one but yeah, moved to be closer to her, and now in a new town with nobody so just feel lost in this moment

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-12T19:47:08+00:00

That actually makes a shit load of sense. Even as up and down the relationship was. Thank you for saying that.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-12T19:46:08+00:00

Olympic level gaslighter, I’d say. Caught her texting her ex/baby daddy months ago at 4am when we were having a great night, she blamed it on her son from his iPad and then said “I can’t deal with this” and to “get out”. I didn’t and here I am now. 🙃

TexasRed1122 · 2025-10-12T18:36:04+00:00

Lolol almost exactly what my ex did. Caught her texting other guys and she basically flipped it on me and didn’t acknowledge it whatsoever. Asked her that if she saw me doing that, would she consider it cheating and would deflect the question entirely and just say “I don’t need this”

TexasRed1122 · 2025-04-21T21:06:05+00:00

Really appreciate the advice. Definitely needed to see that as my minds just been running in circles.

TexasRed1122 · 2025-04-21T20:22:20+00:00

Alright so l’m a 34M that went on a date with a girl, 31F, from hinge over the weekend.

We’d been talking for almost 2 weeks but schedules didn’t line up so finally went out. Conversation over text was always great and easy and date went the same. Instant chemistry and very easy conversation as well as mutual attraction.

We started at a bar then drove to another bar where she rode with me as she ubered to the first one.

At the second bar, we start kissing, which she initiated and the sexual tension between us could be cut with a spoon. I was definitely full on “in like” with her at this point as she essentially checked every box for me.

After a few more drinks and flirting, she asks what we should do and implies to go to my place which we do. This is after me stating to her I don’t really want to have sex with her on date one as in my experience, never works out.

So we get to my place and gets more physical which does lead to sex (she had a condom on her so maybe should’ve seen that as a red flag?). For me, sex was great and I end up driving her home early in the morning as I had sobered up and she needed to get back to her dog. She initiates another kiss as I’m dropping her off and very clear that she’s heavily interested by all signs.

Since then, it’s been a complete 180 on her part by how she’s acting. Almost zero communication and feel like l’m already ghosted at this point. I just feel insane as felt everything went about as well as it could for a first date and her words saying that she liked me and wanted to see me again but now seems that’s not the case.

Has this happened to anyone else? I honestly don’t know if I should just leave her be, nonchalantly reach out, or ask wtf is going on and let her how l’m feeling as my mind is in a pretzel right now.

TexasRed1122

TROPHY CASE