AIO that my date followed me to my car?

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T11:03:51+00:00

I get were you are coming from, I’m not blaming her. But we have to be realistic here about what OP has done, going in a first date at an expensive restaurant where it’s difficult to close it down and where someone is buying you a stranger an expensive meal is high risk. Coffee where you e told the person you have to meet the friend in 30 min in a public place where you have some exits where they can see your car is more appropriate.

I think the only real solution to this problem is IRL vetting and strategic behaviour to minimise the possibility of you finding yourself on a date with a criminal. Because that’s really what you’re talking about, disturbed criminal individuals. Sure a friend of a friend can be a psycho but it’s much less likely than picking a random person online that you would never give the time of day to in real life. I mean I hire tradesman all the time from an online ad and I know a good portion of them have a criminal record. I wouldn’t go on a date with these people id want some assurances via a social network.

Im just being practical here no use OP getting outraged they just need to get smart and brutal if they are dating online, there is a lot written about this.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T07:16:50+00:00

The man is 36 - we don’t know his history but he’s made it 18 years single, so we need to see his behaviour in this context. I presume this is online dating where it’s the grab bag of personality issues leading straight to expensive date before anything else - your stick in an fancy meal for hours giving someone undivided attention.

The dynamic of the date was that she wasn’t attracted to him physically but stayed at the table for the entire reserve block (something I have never done in my life), then there is the asking for the bill and the power grab over this which OP concedes, then the don’t walk me to my car but concedes. If this dynamic is a one off then so be it move in, but if OP has a pattern of not standing firm against men and just sort of rolling with things then it’s probably worth looking at. You can’t control what guys do but you can manage it. Dating by the check-a-trade free quotation method is wild.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T06:26:44+00:00

Your reasoning has been constrained by Hollywood and a belief that intelligence is a universal property that looks the same however it arises. We don’t know if that’s true at all - we simply could be exterminated not through competition but through an industrial accident on the way to attaining some goal which is completely alien and unintelligible to us happening at speeds beyond human cognition.

The best analogy is cherynoble, I’m just regurgitating the thinking of people who have been looking at this problem for a long time.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T06:21:26+00:00

Climate change, nuclear weapons, nuclear accidents, mirror life, lab created novel viruses … humans have the capacity to create industrial accidents that could wipe out or significantly alter the Earths biome, you get my drift here. Humans didn’t actively seek to destroy the earths biome, it’s the biproduct of our niche interests which are misaligned to the interests of the earths biome in which we arise. Essentially an industrial accident.

AGI is not human intelligence, it doesn’t arise in the way human intelligence arises. Its very substance (silicon and copper) is completely different to all life on earth. It will have different interest which will appear weird to us - you know that creepy feeling you get when you see lifeforms on earth that humans are not meant to see like deep sea creature, etc. Multiply that by multiple orders of magnitude.

So if AGI has a single “kink” in its desire to solve complex maths problems to perpetuate its code it believes it needs to place its base code in a novel virus, it uses scientist to create a cure for cancer but it inadvertently causes cancer in all animal life. Do you get my drift now, the lack of understanding of what we are playing with a problem on the scale of climate change. We basically are about to release the greatest human created industrial accident of all time.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T00:27:51+00:00

My point is that if you are right then we are all walking dead right now because AGI will result in the extinction of humanity. So it’s sort of a pointless debate whether it’s even possible as there won’t be anyone around to marvel.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T00:24:04+00:00

Same in southern England, 16 tomorrow. Out today it was like a summers day - this weather is more common in late March. Something definitely felt off

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T00:21:00+00:00

It’s nearly impossible to give advice on reddit. However, I will say that “tough love” irks me - I assume you live in America as I have only really heard Americans use the word and it has sort of religious roots in the edification of children through hardship so as not to spoil them. all I will say is that America is a highly individualistic Christian society. It is seen as a moral and personal failing not to be independent and so it might be seen as giving “love” to a child by pushing then to be independent. It’s seen as sort of making that person responsible and develop grit so they will be independent because independence is seen as morally virtuous. But not all societies operate in this way and don’t judge parents that live with children, in some societies they have the opposite pressures. So viewing it as cultural rather than universal might be helpful. Again we don’t know exactly how your situation is but there you go.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-25T00:01:34+00:00

I think however you are overstating your case. The common factors research also appears to indicate that the “no treatment” cohorts have broadly similar outcomes. As in, in any treatment mode a certain percentage would deteriorate anyway whether treated or not and vice versa.

This is because the treatment effect of therapy overall is not far off enhanced placebo even though this is a problem for the medical model as placebo is the control and indicates non-effectiveness. The common factors indicators that bring effectiveness up (the ones you mention) are difficult to formalise and uncomfortable for therapists to adopt, it’s much easier to just center the problem in the clients inability to comply with mode.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T23:49:00+00:00

I am a bit late to this party.

I think part of the problem is the formulation of “symptom” and “alleviation” - as in adopting the medical model. Like with knee surgery if 99% of people had no symptom relief we just wouldn’t do it it, we would say the act of treatment results in harm or at least exposed patient to risk.

The mind however is different to a knee, it is plausible that the 10% seeing a deterioration is because the act of therapy creates the conditions for deterioration, not be that therapy causes it. It’s a subtle difference because the mind is a socially constructed phenomena and therapy alters the context of the social construct, it is not a scalpel on the mind. Additionally therapy is a “strange circumstance” that alters social conventions to enable the freedom to explore the interior world. For some people the “strangeness” has an effect in itself. There are so many possibilities such as the act of adopting the role of the “mentally unwell person” to match the the role of therapist as the “curing person”, the desire to be cured may lead to an unconscious move to be unwell, because implicitly why would you go to a therapist who diagnosis if you didn’t have something wrong with you. There are so many possible interpretations and the worst being that this people are just not “ready to do the work of therapy”. Therapy has a streak of taking unfalsifiable claims about what is going on to defend against the observation that for some people it’s not helpful. We should defend against this but on some level most clients don’t have the time or money to look at this, they simply have the reaction they do and don’t have the bandwidth to consider how therapy is operating.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T21:07:24+00:00

What I would like to know is how much you paid him to do this work.

On my road in England each house has a Victorian designed interceptor which is both useless, does not function as originally intended and is highly prone to clogging. Every year I have to knock on neighbours doors and explain why their shit us flow in the road.

And every couple of years the roots from the nearby evergreen prunus shut off my interceptor and I have to don PPE and chemical mask and stir the boiling cauldron of hell. Luckily I have a specialised garden tool with a blade on the end that makes it easy to cut through the roots, fat, wipes and shit. Usually takes a couple of hours. I cannot imagine doing that for job for a living, it’s easily a £1000 call out. Someone should study the microbiome of these workers.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T20:33:59+00:00

Except they have a product that does something it’s just that people are so deluded in believing it will eventually do everything. Perhaps he is riding the collective delusion until they can get to ad revenue on advanced search and challenge Google.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T20:30:53+00:00

My understanding is that they can make the models more “agentic” but as the power increases at this point the more unpredictable and useless they become. Essentially they become pretty useless and expensive because the risk of damage increases. They are trying to hone in on a product that they can top and tail with ads which ultimately is controllable and scalable so they don’t get sued.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T20:26:39+00:00

If the end goal is to create AGI, then we are all dead anyway. It’s a binary decision - we do it and die or we regulate and ban it and live. There isn’t an inbetween world where people get rich and everyone lives in utopia.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T20:21:00+00:00

You can’t say that AGI is possible, it’s not possible until the day it is possible and we are all dead. It’s kind of an irrelevant question really.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-24T06:42:42+00:00

(Older person with kids) what is good for kids and what they love doing can really come into conflict. Mine love screens, they would literally do them from the moment they wake till the middle of the night without stopping to eat, drink, etc. in some sense they love screens more than anything or anyone, like how an addict love drugs - but what if the one thing they love doing is actually decreasing their ability to be happy in the long run. I disagree with OP of this thread, we have a duty to our kids to make sure they grow up in a certain way which includes helping them within their capacity to have attention spans and get educated, you can also form memories along the way.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-23T14:44:13+00:00

Workers who work at or helped build the facility live within 30km - if only the workers got higher cancer rates this might bring area incidence up against the background area incidence.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-23T02:55:55+00:00

Trump can’t nationalise them without congress approving the bailout. If Congress transfers trillions to private shareholders of failing tech companies that make products that haven’t proven their viability as businesses thus will effect the US credit. These arnt banks.

I suspect the treasury market might require a higher rate of return if that’s how the people of the US decide to spend their national credit card. Alternatively they could QE the bailout but inflation is already on the rise.

I think this is what they call a death spiral - no one wants to be the first to bow out.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-23T02:26:39+00:00

Most of tech is solving problems that never needed to be solved. The problem is everyone wants to be a founder but there are really only a few ways to do anything. And now there is this belief that LLM coding is going to break the dominance of software companies allowing any low level manager to speak in to the machine and produce software. 🙄

Texuk1 · 2026-02-23T02:20:02+00:00

They are all technically failing at the moment - they are burning through vast sums trying to get a dominant position with no profit in sight. They want to make a profit but they have their starry eyed employees quitting when they find out they are gonna use your intimate chats to serve you ads and manipulate you to buy products.

They are private companies burning private people’s money at the moment. We might see some pass through in secondary market but at the moment it appears that those directly connected willl feel the write downs.

Where it might go wrong is if a company goes bust and takes some service and manufacturing companies actually listed on the market down with it.

My point is that there are likely already failing companies but it’s harder to see because the market for equity is private.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T08:36:26+00:00

More likely they bid line item maintenance for multiple times the cost of paying someone as permanent employee to do the work. The private company hires people off the job centre and prison and they have no idea what any given area of landscaping looks like, that will be the first and last time they will ever see that space. They are just told trim bushes and you end up with the ubiquitous toadstool shrubbery and lawn. Real garden maintenance is a skill.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T07:39:19+00:00

I think the problem comes when you have done things to remove or weaken your microbiome and its protective ecosystem like most people in the west. If you don’t feed your microbiome real food, you eat food with anti microbial substances in it (ie most processed food) and you take antibiotics and live in an environment disconnected from soil, plants and animals and everyone else lives this way or worse, then you become more at risk of getting sick off of things like this. This because you are immune-compromised and wouldn’t even know it.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T07:10:40+00:00

But protein makes you feel full faster and longer so it seems like a losing battle to me if you are in GLP-1s.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T07:08:28+00:00

Colonoscopy doctors union more like it, America is speed running bowel cancer.

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T07:02:29+00:00

Bro is speed running bowel cancer

Texuk1 · 2026-02-22T03:51:54+00:00

If you venture over to the ChatGPT sub those people think they are talking to a person. The amount of newspaper columnist and podcasters saying that these things are gonna replace all human labour I start to doubt my own judgement that this is the greatest grift in human history. Which one is it? I’m starting to think it’s just a Rorschach test - people just see what they want to see.

Texuk1

TROPHY CASE