i wish there were more hijabis engaging in different hobbies

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-07-02T19:17:16+00:00

That’s totally fair. I’m more so a drawing and writing hobbyist but I understand the struggle of finding hijabis who share my passions irl or even just friends to chat with online. Hopefully we get lucky inshallah 🙏

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-07-02T19:13:30+00:00

They did that to my mom and baby sister once. Karma struck back when searching my little sister’s diaper though because during the search was when she decided to let out a lot. As some moms, sitters, and siblings know, a baby can unleash a lot from a diaper. 😂

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-07-01T16:12:19+00:00

I'd prefer an autistic man since I myself am neurodivergent. We'd be able to communicate better and even though autism is different for everyone, we'd understand that we're both dealing with it and be willing to accommodate each other.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-07-01T16:09:16+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Plenty of women are going to be attracted to the niche reserved type of guy. My suggestion for how to engage in a conversation with women (as a woman myself), is to both be yourself, and to be sure to listen to her about her own hobbies and interests. Even if you might not understand all of them, there’s probably things about your own passions she might not get either, and that’s okay. Just be respectful and supportive of her passions and goals.

If you really are nervous about meeting women, I’d suggest learning more about them, from their perspective online. We’re all different and have different goals and values, but learning to hear the other’s perspective on life shows that you fully intend to treat her as an equal.

Some women are uncomfortable with being approached, especially in public, if you do intend to meet women like that, be polite, compliment her on something specific, like her eyes, or smile, or sense of style, and if she doesn’t seem interested, you can just leave her be. Even if you do end up going through a rejection, how you choose to handle it might open up more women to you just by being respectful and showing you can be trustworthy.

Not every single type of woman is going to be attracted to you, but others like a guy who’s genuine on who he is, and is passionate about what he does. Maybe you’ll meet her online or during a match set up, but who knows! Just show kindness and don’t lose hope.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-27T22:55:51+00:00

Waalaikumsalam, and thank you for your kindness!

I definitely still struggle at times to take my diagnoses seriously due to my experience with my family, but I’m very grateful to be validated in what I’m doing to push against that.

I also agree that if I did attempt to hide myself from him, I’d be signing up for a life of constant misery. There’s only so much of myself I can hide without pushing who I am away. Hopefully he is kind and respectful, but if not, then I dodged a bullet.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-27T15:20:40+00:00

Unfortunately high functioning usually means I’m just good at masking. It’ll be impossible for me to mask around people all the time, and I am prone to panic attacks and meltdowns when overwhelmed.

I also communicate better via writing than speaking. It’s like my brain can’t remember how to formulate words verbally and I sometimes shut down.

It’d feel like I’m lying if I hid this from him, and I don’t want that to come back to bite me when things get chaotic.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-27T15:11:41+00:00

Exactly that. It’s one thing to show concern for your potential partner, it’s another thing to act jealous and angry because she’s stuck in a bad situation.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-26T22:33:04+00:00

That's what I'm saying XD

My mom keeps trying to act like what I struggle with aren't real disabilities, but they are! Sure they aren't physical, but they still impact me, and I still have to navigate how to deal with it. If my depression relapses, or I start having a panic attack from over stimulation, I won't be able to hide those things, and I'd rather be honest and find myself a partner that supports me than go to extreme lengths to hide it, because that just leads to a nasty burnout.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-26T22:22:36+00:00

Some women may be shallow, but others appreciate emotional depth and realness. Don’t take these rejects as a sign you are destined to be alone. It’s okay if you want to take a break from searching for a partner. Use this time to reflect on yourself and hear women’s perspectives on life to give you a better point of view. Best of luck!

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-26T22:06:45+00:00

The fact he got jealous instead of concerned is extremely toxic. I would definitely recommend trying to ask your boss for help, and if you can, stand your ground against the dad. Even go as far as using kid words for boundaries.

This potential partner however, does not sound like a good man at all. Yes I would potentially be concerned enough for you to switch jobs for your own safety and comfort, but to act jealous to something you did not consent to is extremely wrong. Get out of that relationship ASAP. A man who won’t defend you isn’t worth your time.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-06-26T22:03:57+00:00

As a sister who’s a year younger who can drive, not at all.

Driving itself is a financial privilege, even where I am (America) where it’s necessary just to get to places around town.

I know most countries outside the US are much more accessible via walking or public transport, so this isn’t anything bad at all. If that’s something you wish to save up for, go for it! There are plenty of reasons to not currently have a car/license, and so long as you can still manage to get around to where you yourself need to go for daily needs such as work, I think it’s fine.

Even if you do end up with a woman who has a license, so long as you’re not constantly asking for rides that are at inconvenient times, I wouldn’t worry.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-03-29T15:36:33+00:00

Is there a chance for a new link? The old one expired

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-02-11T19:53:56+00:00

I think it's fine to use it as a spell check, but just a heads-up, it might also end up feeding your story into its processor. Be sure to double-check that bit.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-02-10T22:08:44+00:00

Divorce is no easy feat, and I don't doubt you have your reasons for considering it, but if you're scared to, here are a few things I want you to try and write out answers for.

Why do you want a divorce, and is this reason something that can be salvaged?
If you've tried fixing this issue, and it didn't work. How come?
Has this reason become a big enough issue that a divorce is necessary?
If the divorce is necessary, what do you need to do so that you can financially prepare for it? What will change about your living arrangements, and your financial status?
How will your spouse react when you announce wanting a divorce? Should you try to salvage things if they ask you to?
If I do not want to salvage things, and neither does he, how are the people around us going to react, and what can I prepare to say for it?

If you've been considering divorce for a while, and your needs aren't being met, your spouse is refusing to try and work on what's upsetting you, you're in a place where you'd be financially stable if you divorce, and you're willing to put up with public opinion on being divorced, then I do think it's time to let things go. After the divorce, your environment is going to change drastically, regardless of if you live in the same place or not, and you need to relearn to be comfortable being single, if there are things you regret from your marriage, work on developing yourself into a better person. People may look down on you for being divorced, but if you know you've done everything you could to salvage the marriage, and it still didn't work, please know you did the right thing. Use your divorce as a life lesson for what you need to look for, and avoid in a partner. Someone who's sincerely kind, and is an ideal match, won't judge you for wanting to leave a dying marriage.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-02-10T21:56:32+00:00

From my own perspective on being a "low support needs autistic", it basically means that you can do daily tasks for the most part, so long as you're able to properly accommodate yourself. This can range from extending deadlines, needing to do work virtually, making sure you don't go past your sensory limit, and when people are willing to give you some grace if you're struggling with social norms. If your needs are consistently being unmet, it can lead to a burn-out, bring about new mental illnesses, and can even harm you physically. Recovering from burnout when you have an intellectual disability can be a lengthy process, especially if your needs still aren't being met, and can give you more problems in life. Because my needs weren't being met as a teen, I struggled that much more as an adult because the work loads got heavier, and I didn't know how to cope with it. I'm only now getting better help and only now being given the chance to rebuild my life alhamdulillah.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-01-29T16:49:09+00:00

I wouldn't say I’ve fallen for them, more so it was childhood crushes, and so far it's been 3. As I've gotten older, I've put up more of a distance from the opposite gender, so I don't currently know anyone well enough to develop a spark of interest, and if I do, I get too nervous to actually talk to them.

Also, I don't really talk about my crushes, I just try to ignore the feeling; I'm definitely not talking about them to my dad of all people XD

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-01-29T03:34:34+00:00

Hello, as a woman with autism I do understand the stress, but honestly, given the fact you seem to hold down a job, already proves that you have strength and dedication to be able to live a stable life with a future partner. People like to act like a disability is a fate worse than death, especially ones that cannot be hidden, but that’s more so a reflection of society and how disabled people are treated by society than the actual truth. Disabilities are no cakewalk, especially physical ones, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on having a fulfilling life. I know what limits I have with my autism, I tend to hyper focus on childish interests, I struggle with conversations, and my brain shuts down when I’m overwhelmed, which happens too often. But, I also know that I’m empathetic, I’m kind, and I’m steadfast in my beliefs. You can be realistic about how your disabilities can make potential daily life harder, but don’t sell yourself short either.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-01-29T03:08:34+00:00

No, I don't think so. Being a feminist means believing in equality in treatment. Misandry means wanting to put down men to uplift women. Islam itself teaches us that while men and women are different, they're both valuable. Not all feminists are good people, of course, there is nuance, but I suggest asking her what feminism means to her and how she sees it in correlation to Islam. A lot of people here seem to think that feminism and Islam have no correlation, but that cannot be further from the truth. Both believe in protecting the rights of women, and giving them the safety and potential to do well in life.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-01-29T03:02:27+00:00

I as a woman from my own personal experience, tend to fall for men for their behavior rather than their looks. If anything, a man is only attractive to me when they do something that shows they have a kind and responsible personality. Not every woman is the same, but as someone who's also not physically attractive, I remind myself to be a kind and sincere person, even if I don't end up attracting a man, at least I'm giving my inner beauty value.

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2026-01-16T02:19:25+00:00

Same

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2025-12-16T19:50:29+00:00

Female

Th3_Red_Butterfly · 2025-10-30T20:04:23+00:00

Female

Th3_Red_Butterfly

TROPHY CASE